Everything Outside, Nothing Inside

Trauma With Consenquence

(very inaccurate representation of therapy)

How are you Kylie?

...welcome back Kylie
I thought to myself

Carl and Kianna insisted Kylie to go back to therapy. She refused knowing that she doesnt have time to be in therapy due to her busy schedule. However, thinking deeply, she knew that she might hurt the people close to her again. So agreeing with them, she texted her assistant.

Xavier Thompson

Xavier, do not anticipate my arrival for the upcoming weeks due to "issues" from my acquaintances. Please inform Mr. Garcia to supervise the office while I depart for the meantime.

seened

Xavier: I shall acknowledge this information. Noted.

Kylie? Are you still there?
Dr. Lilith snapped me back to reality seeing the infamous chair that I used to sit on

oh- sorry I have a lot in my head right now...
I replied with no emotions whatsoever

Would you like to share those thoughts?

I hurt my friend... I didnt mean to
I explained bowing my head regretting that I agreed to Janna sleeping

Can you explain how?
I dont know... I think that I threw something at her?

I saw the Doctor write down notes about the details of what I have said.

Ok so I will ask questions. Its ok if you are uncertain with your answers just say I dont know. Take your time this is very hard for you.

Can you explain more about your problem?

I have trauma. My lucid nightmares - its back... Im hurting my friends because of it and its so much worse than before doctor...

Doc I dont even want to sleep anymore. Its so hard just trying to pass through atleast 8 hours of sleep being tormented by my trauma.

What caused your trauma?

...
I was too uncomfortable trying to answer that question

Its ok Kylie, take your time

I had to answer the question anyway she needs to know

An old friend...

Does your nightmares pop up frequently?

Yes

How do you feel about your nightmares?

Its... surreal, also feels suffocating, painful both mentally and physically, and very exhausting

How do you feel experiencing it again?

I dont experience it again in my nightmares. She torments me with my other issues in my life...

How did she hurt you?

... I- Im sorry I dont want to answer that
I shuddered in discomfort

Thats ok. Are you able to remember all that happened during what happened in your trauma?

Yes... vividly

Ok so our next session we will evaluate how we can lessen the possibilities of another nightmare happening. You may now leave.

Ok thank you Doctor.
I walked out of the office. Im uncertain of what I feel right now. Its just odd that Im back in therapy.

sigh seriously Kylie that wont help
A voice suddenly spoke in my head. Oh no is it her...

what do you want now
I asked knowing that she has did this to me to before

im just warning you kai, therapy wont work...

fuck you carol- oh so now yourre gone ok.

Im sick and tired her games. Shes always apart of me because of her shitty abusive ways. She can just appear out of nowhere in my mind and start talking about how I cant live in this world with peace and happiness. Shes a literal definition of an alarm reminding me that I have to go to school early every single day.

____________

Im so sorry Janna...
I sighed looking at her comatose body

Im so sorry for hurting you...
I sobbed out while tears falls down my cheeks but then all of the sudden I feel something touch my hand

Kylie its ok I shouldnt have insisted in the first place...
Janna sniffled with reassuring eyes knowing that its her fault

omg your awake...
I smiled as I hugged her with tears of joy

You know, you looked ugly when you cry
Janna teased rubbing her finger on my cheeks

Shut up I love you
I embraced her sinking onto her body

I finally let go to call the doctors that she woke up

___________

Janna, I think its best if I should stay away from you until Im okay already...
I advised

Kylie... in whatever state you are in, Ill always be there for you
Kylie responded back with promising eyes and a small smile on her

Are you sure?
I asked worried of what might come to her

Yes Kylie I wont disconnect from you ever again just like before...
She answered with a soothing tone

the fact that she would "be there for you" HAH she wont handle you.
Carol mocked as she laughed maniacally again

Shut up you will be out of my head once and for all.
I hissed to myself and that surprisingly shut her up

Kylie, you ok? It seemed like you zoned out
Janna concerningly asked while I looked back at her

Im fine...

Am I fine? No Im not. Is this ever going to go away? ... I just have to hope. Please God save me from this