Replaced by Two Ghosts

Prologue

Louis was different. Harry could not quite put his finger on it but something about the way he looked, he behaved, seemed to be off. He remembered the glow in his eyes, full of love. Louis used to make him feel like he was the only person in the world. Now those same eyes were looking at Harry, empty and blue. Those which were once full of life. Louis still had the same lips, red and kissable and Harry felt a sudden shiver overcome him. The tingle in his lips, urging for what Louis and he once had.

He remembered the nights they had together, his fingers striking Louis's hair, while they melted into each other. His breath next to Harry's ear, whispering quiet promises. How much would Harry give just to line Louis's tattoos with his fingers again, in the desperate feeling of getting closer to him than physically possible. Those same tattoos he could see on Louis's arms now in this very moment when Louis opened the fridge. The white light of the fridge added a coldness to the room that made Harry shiver.

He still loved him. Endlessly. He knew it. The moonlight fell down on Louis, making him look like an angel, more beautiful than Harry had ever seen. Deep down Harry still loved Louis. He just couldn't feel it. Not anymore. It felt like they had been replaced by someone who looked just like them. Like they were two ghosts just staring at each other trying to remember how to love again. Or at least that is what Harry thought.

They had barely spoken to each other since the band decided it was time for a break. A break that was desperately needed after years of touring though it had not been their plan to end it like this. They simply had no other option since Zayn had left. At least not in Harry's opinion. He knew the band meant a lot to all of them, but it was obvious that it was just not the same without Zayn.

"I'm going away for the weekend." Louis's voice echoed a little from the bare stone walls. His voice sounded rough, without any glimpse of emotion. His face was still facing the inside of the fridge as if he was looking for something without wanting to find it.

"Where will you be going?"

"I don't know."

Harry was confused by the answer. Louis was being so distanced it drove him crazy.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I just need to get out of here"

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No Harry, that's the whole point"

Harry stared at him blankly while Louis put back the bottle of milk, he had nipped from just seconds ago. Louis hadn't called Harry by his actual name for years.

"Wh, wha..." Harry could not bring out any words. What did Louis mean?

"I'm sorry Harry. I just... I just can't do this anymore, okay?" Now Louis's voice was starting to sound filled with anger and frustration.

"Can't do what?" Harry was about to lose his mind. Louis just never said what he really meant. But neither did Harry. Otherwise, he would have told Louis that he still cared about him, that this whole situation had nothing to do with them as a couple. They didn't have to work together to love each other.

Louis just looked at him and blurted out: "Us Harry! I can't do US anymore! Is that what you wanted to hear from me?! Are you happy now?!"

Harry did not know what to say or how to act. How could Louis think he was happy? How could he even dare to think that this was what Harry wanted? He was searching for a sign of regret in Louis's face. But there was no regret, only anger that seemed to build up with every second that Harry was looking at him.

"I guess he was right. Of course, he was right.", Louis said a little bit quieter, his voice starting to sound weaker. He didn't look at Harry when he said it, instead he faced the cold tiles on the floor.

For a second Harry thought he could see Louis's eyes tearing up a little. He knew who Louis was talking about, but he never thought either of them would give in and believe in his words. Simon wasn't right, they both knew it. Regardless of all the obstacles they had to face, obstacles Simon had purposefully placed in front of them, they stayed together. Their love lasted. They had proven him wrong. Or so Harry thought.

"How could two dumb teenagers think their love would actually last?" Now Louis voice sounded broken mixed in with the anger that seemed to make its comeback.

Harry wanted to say something, but his mouth wouldn't move. Suddenly, all the hurt Harry thought to see in Louis's eyes disappeared. His blue eyes were looking straight at him, straight through him.

"Wow, I really thought this", he made a tired gesture between them, "was more important than my career." A little ironic laugh left Louis's mouth.

"I'm such an idiot. Our love meant nothing. NOTHING!" Louis shouted the last word and Harry jumped unintentionally.

Louis was that beautiful, calm creature. Sweet and loving. Yes, he had a temper, but he had never been that way with Harry. Harry felt a silent tear roll down his cheek. All the feelings Harry thought had been buried deep inside of him, the ones that had been replaced, leaving him a ghost of himself, came back at once. They flooded him. And the wave hit him hard.

"You know, I really fought for you back then", Louis went on as if he didn't notice. Or maybe he didn't care. "I did all those stupid fucking stunts so you wouldn't have to deal with them. I did everything and in return, I got this!"

Louis gestured at Harry and then back to himself. His eyes were dark with anger. Harry didn't understand. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't Louis's either. Why couldn't he just say that? Why couldn't he just tell Louis all the things that were on his mind? The overcoming sadness and pain were slowly drowning him. He was desperate to grasp for air.

"That's it, I'm done!" With these words Louis turned around and left the kitchen, leaving a crying Harry behind. He had looked Harry straight in the eyes and the coldness with which he'd said those words...

'I'm done!'

Harry could hear his voice echoing in his head. Maybe this wasn't the end? Maybe he'd come back... hopefully... Harry's thoughts were racing when he started to sob uncontrollably. He was his Louis, his Lou. The only man he's ever truly loved. How could he lose him that easily?

He had been sitting in the kitchen for what felt like an eternity. Even without the light of the fridge the atmosphere in the room was cold. Colder than Harry could endure. He heard Louis's steps upstairs, but he barely paid attention. He was drowning, the only thing that kept him alive was the knowledge that Louis was still there. He was still there, in their house, with Harry. And maybe, just maybe, that meant that it wasn't over. Maybe they still had a chance, Harry thought.

Later that night Harry heard the front door shut one last time.