Rian's sour moods were notorious around Starhawk, and was something even the rudest members attempted to tip toe around, lest they upset Stakar and Aleta's youngest biological child. Stakar even tried to be accommodating to his son's moods.
But skipping three days worth of shifts was something that the ravager admiral couldn't just let slide completely.
What made it difficult was Rian hadn't been seen anywhere, at least not long enough for Stakar to catch him. He'd be seen in the cafeteria but gone before Stakar could make it down himself, having miraculously slipped away before anyone could actually see, let alone catch where he went.
Stakar had had enough though and was currently stomping through the ship-- his own ship which only succeeded in pissing him off further-- to find his son. It seemed Rian was using all his childhood hidey-holes to his advantage, but he was running out of them. Which was either really bad for Stakar or really bad for Rian, and he'd be dammed if he was going to let it be the former situation. The admiral was climbing up the ladder to the higher decks to a spot he himself would sneak up to now and then as well, where his three oldest children's memorabilia was kept. Upon reaching the latch he pushed it up and open, eyes narrowed as he finally found Rian, tucked away on a little beanbag, cigarette between his lips, and Vic curled up next to him.
"What the hell do you think you're doing up here boy?" he growled, climbing in further finally getting a good look at Rian. Heavy and obvious bags under his eyes and hair disheveled not even bothered to be pulled back in its usual low ponytail.
Rain groaned, leaning his head back, but pulled the cigarette from his mouth and releasing the drag of smoke into the air before he spoke, "Finally found me, old man?"
"Nows not the time to be making fun of me," Stakar growled, "what are you thinking, huh!? Skipping work? The hells the matter with you??"
"Great Anthos, can I not have time to myself when you're not breathing down my neck?? I mean cmon! Is it any wonder why I prefer being on mom's month cycle!?"
"If you like it there so much then why don't you just live there then?" Stakar spat.
"Because she fucking insists I come here to see you, moron!" Rian snapped back pulling his head up to fixate a glare on Stakar, "Because I'm not exactly given a choice!"
"Fine," Stakar huffed, unable to completely fight the notion knowing the first explanation was true, Aleta herself had said that, "What's so terrible about being here then?"
Rian scoffed incredulously, "You're kidding, right? Are you that delusional? Is dementia kicking in?"
"No," Stakar stated firmly, "I want you to tell me. What's so horrible about coming to see me? Huh? I do nothing but try to help you and take care of you and all you ever do is disrespect me over and over and over and I'm about sick of it."
"Right," Rian scoffed again taking in some of the cigarette once more, "because coming to yell at me for not taking care of your ship is soooooo flarkin' helpful. 10 out of 10 stars. Perfect parenting...." Rian sarcastically stated, "You wanna know why I haven't been working?" Rian asked before Stakar had a chance to retort, "Because I haven't slept in 3 days. So please, almighty, great, all knowing father, forgive me if dealing with you and your sorry ass, bitchy crew is not my priority."
Stakar grit his teeth, "Not sleeping sounds like a you problem, Rian. When you're here, you have work and you know that."
"Yeah," Rian snorted finishing his cigarette and immediately lighting another, "my nightmares are my own problem. Cause you'd do a real shitty job in comforting me. You know that?"
"You certainly never complained about it before," Stakar snarked back.
"What, when I was like 5? In case you haven't noticed, I'm 32 now, dad."
"Because you never trust me to help!" Stakar snapped exasperated, "How can I comfort you if you don't let me? You're a grown man, Rian!"
"Why in stars name, why would I let the man who is the reason I have these fucking nightmares in the first place comfort me?? What sense does that make!? I wake up feeling ill most of the time and it's all your fault!"
"You cannot and will not pin all this on me, Rian Ogord," Stakar warned.
"Then who else am I supposed to blame?" Rian demanded.
Stakar shook his head, "You're no innocent party."
Rian stared in shock a few moments, "...No i-innocent party?" he sputtered, "Are you serious!?"
"Why didn't you come home, try to contact someone. Maybe if you had, we could've been there soon enough to save them," Stakar insisted with a nod, "trusting a stranger to help you, putting yourself in danger. Never once contacting home. I'm not the only one at fault Rian. You aren't the only one that suffered."
"No. I just suffered the most," Rian growled, cutting Stskar off before he could speak once more, "you didn't have to stand there and listen to them dying dad! You didn't hear their screams, see their blood. They were screaming for you to save them, and I get to deal with that haunting noise, not you! Every. Fucking. Night. As for why I didn't call home, I was 15-years-old! I was barely a fucking teenager, I was still a kid! A scared kid! They told me they'd kill me too!! And I believed the people who were supposed to protect and love me had sent me and my siblings to our doom!! I thought that you sent me there to die!" Rian's voice grew louder and louder the longer his rant went on, tears down burning at his eyes as his shaky breaths just threatened to become more shallow. He leaned back into the beanbag seat, trying to gain some stability as Vic hopped up to his lap, headbutting his chest to try and soothe him. Rian eased in some kind of sign of defeat, not wanting to argue much further and spur on a legitimate panic attack.
Stakar stood numbed from all the emotions swirling within him, anger and guilt, directed at everyone possible, "...I never would've sent you kids if I knew it was going to be dangerous. I had sent you because I thought it was safe.." he said, admittedly unsure if it was an attempt to defend himself or comfort Rian. It earned a weak snort from his son regardless.
"Yeah. Now I know that. But a teenage kid didn't. You blame me for trusting a stranger too... yeah. I did. It seemed like he valued me. Took care of me. Did what my parents didn't... or so it seemed," he took a long drag of his cigarette, Vic still rubbing him even after he covered his face in his free hand.
"We both wo-"
"I'm not done," Rian growled, "I followed your fucking code despite it all. Hoping if I was good enough, maybe my parents would come save me or some shit. I'd thought I'd done something to make you send me away.."
Stakar sighed softly letting the silence rein for a little bit before moving to sit next to Rian, "I'm sorry we weren't there. We were told you all had died. We were grieving. We all suffered, Rian."
Rian took his turn to sigh, getting rid of his second cigarette in the ash tray, nodding a little bit, "I know you guys did, dad," he relented.
Stakar hesitated again before gently wrapping his arm around Rian. Much to the admiral's surprise, Rian leaned gently against his father, "We'll see you soon... that was the last thing you told all of us.." the son mumbled.
Stakar casted his gaze down, "Yeah... yeah it was," he murmured, resting his chin on top of Rain's head like he used to. Silence settled a bit longer before Stakar added softly, "Get some rest, junior," he hummed, "you'll feel better after. And I won't leave your side for anything in the galaxy."
