Half Step At A Time

chapter 17: A dissapointment

"Doyin!!!!"
The loud voice swept me off my bed. Yes, my beautiful comfy bed at home. Not the metal bunk beds and Compressed mattresses that had the potential to break your spine at night.

I was home already for the midterm break. This was what my sister was really anticipating . She had joyfully packed all her belongings waiting for my mum to come pick us up the day before and now we were home. That sound was probably my mom calling me to do house chores or to eat.

What was the time? Ten o clock. Yet I was still enjoying my sleep. The whole house was probably already awake but I was the only one still sleeping.

     I had told my mum before hand that I was going to take my time to sleep well this break because I hadn't been able to have enough sleep due to sleeping late and waking up extremely early every day at school. The break was only a week and two days so I had only nine days to sleep myself to stupor. My mum wasn't impressed with the idea.

"I know you would use half of the whole day to sleep during this break, just take it easy, you hear? The break shouldn't only be used to sleep, but also to read and revise." She had said while driving us home from school.
       What a kill joy. I had thought. I couldn't possibly read anything during the break. I came home to rest, and rest I shall!

         I stood up and rubbed my eyes, still sore from sleep. I obviously wasn't ready to stand up.
My mom came into my room.
"Still not ready to get up?"
"Yes, mum". I replied.
"Well, too bad" she smiled. "I give you 30 minutes to freshen up and join me in the kitchen". She said and left me sulking.

   I dragged myself to the bathroom and tried to brush my teeth at least, when my little brother divine came into my room, holding a cardboard.
"Good morning, doyin!". He said cheerfully. He was very glad that I was back from school at last, though I would be leaving soon. Daniel was already in college , so he was probably lonely at home, no one to play football with, no one to help out with his homework. But now I was back, and I assumed that the card board he was holding was probably another homework.

  I looked out of the bathroom and sighted him jumping on my bed, happily.
"Good morning, big boy, you seem to be very happy today, any reason?" I smiled , tackled him by the knee and dropped him on the bed. KO.
He laughed heartily and replied.
"It's because you are here, and also, mummy is making my favourite food today".
"Oh really, and what's that?" I asked, knowing fully well what his favourite food was.
"Beans cake!" He yelled.
Yup, he was obsessed.

"So, what's this cardboard for?". I asked him, pointing to the cardboard on the bed.
"That's for my art assignment". He replied.
"We are to make a beautiful cardboard house and paint it with different colours". He added.
"Oh, I see, so you want me to help you?"
"Yes, please!"He cried.
"Why won't I help my cute little brother? Of course, I'll help you!" I said, squeezing his cute fluffy cheeks.
"Thank you doyin!" He said and hugged me.

           ***********************
 
We sat down to eat dinner in the evening. It was a meal of Ofada rice and fried green pepper stew, my favourite.
The aroma of the food filled the air. I helped my mom serve the food on the table after it had been cooked.

    I was happy to finally be able to dine with my family again after a long time of dining with people that I didn't know at school. And i barely had people I knew to eat with. Till now, I hadn't made any friends apart from Victoria and Michael. It was that bad.

"Doyin,pray over the food". My dad said, once we had settled down.
I was kinda surprised because my dad hadn't talked to me since I arrived. He had suddenly grown cold, and he didn't reply when I tried to greet him. But now, he was telling me to pray over the food. It was even a surprise that he was around and not on one trip to Madagascar.
"Okay, sir". I replied.

"Our father in heaven, we thank you for this food, we bless your name because you have provided. Accept our thanks in Jesus name. We pray that this food shall nourish our body, soul and spirit in Jesus name and we pray that food shall be available to the hungry in Jesus name, amen." I prayed, not forgetting those in need.

Immediately, my mum started serving the food to each person.
"How is school, doyin?" My dad began to ask as I passed my plate to my mum to serve my food.
"Well, school is fine, I've been able to adjust pretty well". I replied, smiling.
"Made any friends?". He asked, shoving a huge chunk of meat into his mouth.
"Umm, well, a few. Like...two. A boy and a girl". I replied.
"A boy?" My dad asked, abruptly.

I sighed because I expected this reply. My dad hasn't always been comfortable with me making male friends, he was extremely paranoid. Funny enough, I didn't even enjoy associating with boys, or with anyone for that matter. I just saw Michael as a very good friend that helped me several times when I was in need.

"Why can't you make female friends? Why a boy?". Said my paranoid dad.
"Honey". My mum called him to order, I guess she could sense the tension.
My dad sighed.
"Your mum told me you had to sign an undertaking, what can you say about that?"
I sighed.
"Well, dad, I was put in the wrong department so I signed an undertaking so as to get into my rightful department".

My dad stared at me questionably.
"She also told me the conditions applied". He said.
My stomach knotted at the thought of it.
I didn't even want to imagine it. But everything would be fine, I hoped.
"She will do a good job, I know that" My mom butted in, defending me, as usual.

You could say my dad was a pain in the butt. He was loving and all,as my mom always tried to convince me, but he was too perfectionist and and logically oriented and I really do not know if it was due to the fact that he was a lawyer. He criticised evey little thing when he had the chance to. He criticised  my big brothers free lifestyle and his hairstyles. He criticised my sisters obsession with art. He criticised me for everything even though I tried so hard to be perfect. It was painful, really.
It was so hard to please him and therefore so hard to love him.

"Well, let me ask doyin, does she also agree that she will do well this time, and not be a dissapointment, again?". He asked, knowing fully well that the memory he was bringing back was a painful one for me.

My siblings sighed, they knew what was coming. They too had been trying so hard to put up with my dad's shit.
My mom stood up.
"Honey, stop this at once! I thought we were over this!".
My dad turned to face her.
"Sit down, woman, I am merely preventing a disgraceful thing from happening again".

"We both know that what happened was obviously a misunderstanding and should have been forgotten there and then". My mom argued.
"I mean, she has always been so obedient and well behaved, but she just makes one mistake, one mistake! and you keep dragging it around, geez!".

I just watched both of them argue over me. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't even say if I was at fault for anything or not. I was the cause of this chaos and that was it.

I stood up to leave, I couldn't watch it any more.
"I lost my appetite". I said, though I was sad that I had to abandon my favourite meal, sigh.
"Where are you going to, madam?" My dad asked abruptly, making me stop in my tracks.
"Look here, miss" He said. "keep it in mind that if you repeat this class, you won't be fit to be called my daughter again." He hissed.

I looked at him, with tears building up in my eyes, I didn't say anything, just walked straight into my room, locking the door behind me.