agatha harkness one-shots

✧ a cardigan is not enough ✧

summary: Wanda, the twins, Agatha and you having a little fun on a winter's day.

word counter: 2210 words

a/n: hiii <3 for all of you who are still reading this crappy book, i really appreciate it! how are you doin'? i hope that okay. thanks for reading 💜

─── 「༻ ☪ ༺」───

"Help! Ags, I need backup, I'm helpless around here!"

But Agatha shows no sign of moving from her spot any time soon. You dragged her out of the house on a day when she intended to stay cooped up without any human socialization, it's only fair that you pay the price for that.

Watching you get pelted with snowballs by ten year olds is definitely better than any book in her collection. Too bad she didn't bring a camera to immortalize the embarrassing moment for the end of time.

"You were right, hon, this certainly is fun!" Agatha says as she folds her arms, a grin being flashed.

"Billy, Tommy, let Y/N stand first! Be nice with our guest!" Wanda says next to her, showing at least a shred of empathy.

Her children successfully ignore her. There can't be two winning teams in a competition, after all. Even if they're already crowning themselves champions of the whole thing, it's unfair to you. You had no backup, you were in it alone! Agatha abandoned you at the most critical moment. You were at a disadvantage, of course you were going down. For you to retreat with your head held high, accepting your inevitable defeat, would be the wisest decision to make right now.

"All right, all right! You win!" you announce with zero dignity at this point, waiting for the attack to cease. You lower your arms, which you are using as protective shields, so you can look at them. "The number one spot is yours, I have no intention of-"

A snowball hits you straight in the face, knocking you off balance just as you were about to stand up. Billy and Tommy freeze with their snow ammunition in hand as soon as that happens. They look at each other, guiltily at first but quickly find themselves suppressing laughter. In silent agreement, both prepare to resume the attack regardless.

"Don't you dare move, you little rascals." A familiar voice threatens, whose owner is walking dangerously in their direction.

"Or what?" Billy dares to challenge.

Perplexed, Agatha pauses. "'Or what?'" She turns to Wanda, who watches the whole interaction from her front porch in awe, almost. "Did he just ask me 'or what?' To me? He seriously-" Her attention returns to the child. "Do you know me at all, boy? Stop hurting my bae or-"

"Oh, so now I'm your bae?" You finally manage to rise to your feet. Your breath condenses in the cold winter air. "You didn't care about your bae when you literally used me as a human shield five minutes ago!"

"I'm an incredibly versatile person, hon, I can be a whole new person in five minutes."

"Well, guess what? Me too, Ags."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

You gather snow in your hands, quickly shaping it into the form of a ball. The twins smile knowingly as you give them a look that says it all. Agatha is smart enough to immediately realize your sinister plan.

She raises an eyebrow. "You wouldn't dare."

You smile at her. "Or what?" She snorts, just at the same instant you shout, "ATTACK!"

Agatha starts to recoil as snowballs begin to crash into different parts of her body. She can barely feel the impacts thanks to her warm coat but damn it's annoying! In her attempt to return to the safety of the porch, snowballs impact against her back literally every less than a microsecond. A perfect snow machine weapon named Tommy Maximoff.