Glass Houses

Silk Pajamas and a Movie

I sat up in bed with a grunt and focused on my surroundings; nothing seemed out of the ordinary, yet something wasn’t quite right. I slid my blankets away from my body and examined what I was wearing, or rather, what I wasn’t wearing.

Something was wrong with what I was going through, I never slept naked. It never felt safe to do. I only ever did that was I was young by force.

My eyes fixated on the scar that covered my body. The cigarette burns and metal burns were the most prominent in my eye.

I looked at all my other scars, and each one of them looked different than the last. My chest tightened as I looked down at myself, and my body. I could still feel it; the weight of the shackles around my limbs and throat.

They had been so tight, and they didn’t loosen even when I fought against them. They only dug deeper into my skin and painted my flesh with blood and thick tissue.

I couldn’t see myself clearly; it was too blurry from hot tears for me to make anything out.

I stood up from the bed with a shaky sigh. All my other scars didn’t look like this, not anymore anyway. A lot had faded with time, but now it looked worse; like I was still recovering from a war wound. It made me shudder, and I wrapped my arms across my chest as if to protect myself from those nightmares.

I pushed myself up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. As I stretched out, my body snapped and cracked. With the sound came an unpleasant feeling of pins and needles all along my arms and back. The pain spread throughout my entire body as I slowly rose to my feet.

My legs shook as I tried to balance myself.

“Damnit.” My vision spun and I swayed as I took two steps forward before straightening out.

My eyes traveled over to my clock, noticing that it was 10:30, a groan escaped me as I realized I was late for work. Catherine was going to scold me into my next lifetime. I knew she wouldn’t be upset though. Maybe worried as opposed to angry.

I quickly scooped my pajamas from the previous night up and slipped them onto my body before darting over to my door. As I reached for the doorknob, someone pushed it open.

My father.

“Good morning, Khrys,” he spoke with a small smile as he looked me up and down, “you look like a bat out of hell.” His expression changed to one of worry. “Are you okay? You look exhausted.”

I chuckled lightly and waved him off before shrugging. “Yeah, don’t worry about me dad, just a rough night and I’m late for work,” I told him as I brought my hand up to rub my forehead.

He nodded and gave me his signature grin before reaching out to ruffle my already messy hair.

“That’s not something you need to worry about. Your mother called you in, and said you were sick last night,” he informed me with slight concern lacing his words. Relief flooded my body at his words.

“Oh thank god,” I muttered under my breath as I glanced around the room again, not finding anything different about it but it felt off. I didn’t know why though, my mind just seemed to be foggy.

I followed my father downstairs towards the kitchen where I found my mother sitting at the table. She had her glasses perched precariously on her nose as she worked on some papers. Her favorite hearing aids were at this time. I smiled at her as I walked over and kissed her cheek lightly, earning a giggle from her.

“Good morning Khrystyna, breakfast is ready if you are.” She set her papers down, stood, and walked over to my dad, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

As she began heading to the kitchen once more, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the glass door to my left. I saw myself, hunched over slightly. A pale, sickly colour covered nearly every inch of my face. I couldn’t help but shiver as my stomach churned.

The thought of being sick scared me, but it wasn’t entirely the sickness itself. It had something else to do with it. Something was different, and I couldn’t put my finger on what.

I yawned as I sat at the table in my normal seat, a stack of 3 chocolate chip pancakes with milk sat in front of me. The pancakes looked amazing and smelled delicious; I knew I’d be stuffing my face as soon as possible. The sweet aroma filled my nostrils causing a happy smile to grace my face.

My father and I ate quietly while my mom and a very tired Valentyna conversed nearby. The conversations flowed in waves. Each topic was varied and lighthearted. Saturday mornings were always a treat in our home.

Once breakfast was finished, father picked up the dishes and began cleaning them up. Before I could leave the room, Valentyna spoke up, “Hey, Khrys, would you be interested in a movie day?”

She had a hopeful look in her eyes as she gazed over at me. The excitement radiated from her, causing her cheeks to turn bright red. A wide grin graced my features before I turned and gave her a nod. Valentyna’s idea sounded great and I wouldn’t mind watching some films together after a particularly exhausting night.

Val took my hand in hers gently as she lead the way up to her bedroom, I always found her room extra cozy.

Her walls were an ivory color with gray carpet. She had a white bedside table, a desk, and a chair placed near the window with two matching chairs surrounding the wooden coffee table in the center of the room.

A large flatscreen TV hung in the corner of her wall. Her computer sat on her desk surrounded by piles of books and homework.

She picked up the TV remote and climbed up into her bed, pulling me with her. I plopped onto the mattress and rested my head on her shoulder, allowing her to pick the movie we watched.

We settled on the same old movie; I think it was Beauty and the Beast or Something. I wasn’t listening too carefully.

Valentyna pulled her blanket over us and leaned her head on mine. As the movie played on, I couldn’t help but stare at the scars covering my arms and chest. There were many that ran across my body, and each one reminded me of how broken and battered I was. It reminded me of my past.

I was broken. Just a shell of the girl I used to be.

It was still early so we didn’t have many movies planned. After an hour or two of just watching the movie, I was completely settled.

I loved Valentyna’s company even though we never spent too much time together; we just enjoyed each other’s presence.

As I lay there, I came to realize that she was oddly a calm presence in my life. I’d known her a shorter time than I’d known Rosemary but something about the brunette female made everything seem okay. Everything was always easy with Valentyna. She was a constant source of comfort, and I cherished the fact that she was here with me today.

Maybe it was the fact that her personality matched mine perfectly and she liked to read. Or maybe it was the fact that she reminded me so much of our mother. Even perhaps, I could see that there was something else, beneath the surface.

Something was brewing behind those dirt-colored eyes. And I wanted to get inside her head. No matter how hard it was. I wanted to find what had caused her to hide herself behind these eyes.

But most importantly, she cared about me and I didn’t want her to get hurt by someone who would try and use her kindness against her.

But I was getting distracted, which was what I needed. To stay focused on things other than my thoughts. I needed to focus on what was important to me right now.

I closed my eyes and let sleep pull me away from reality.