The Blood Pact

Chapter 12: All in

AN: Hiiii. Warnings for some mild violence in this chapter, plus vague references to previous emotionally abusive relationship. Otherwise the fluff is BACK. All hail the fluff.

We're going to start ramping up the drama for the last few chapters so let's enjoy the calmness for now!

*

It had been a few days since your fight and you had managed to avoid Bucky entirely, or maybe he'd managed to avoid you. He must've been feeding elsewhere as only Steve had been around for his sessions. You only left your room to eat and spent a lot of time out of the house in the evenings. You'd gotten pretty good at it with plenty of experience after your last argument.

You knew it was petty and silly. Part of you was desperate to make up, apologise for upsetting him and explain yourself properly. But another part was still hurt by his reaction, you had put yourself out there by revealing an insecurity and he'd responded with anger. You knew he was likely reacting out of hurt, but he'd hurt you too, and it hadn't exactly put your fears to rest.

Steve must've known something was up as he would've noticed your absence around the house - you and Bucky were normally joined at the hip. You knew he wasn't overly comfortable with your 'relationship' anyway so didn't want to burden him by sharing the gory details. He would eye you suspiciously when he found you by yourself in the kitchen, tentatively asking how you were and if you wanted to talk – but you merrily brushed him off each time, the frozen smile permanently tattooed on your face.

You'd replayed that night in your head a million times. It gave you whiplash thinking about how in mere minutes you'd gone from laying with him in post-orgasmic bliss to essentially insisting he go out and have sex elsewhere. It made you felt nauseated wondering if he'd done just that, you'd heard the sound of the front door opening and closing over the last few nights and imagined it was Bucky going to find either dinner or a conquest (or both in one).

Sometimes when you replayed the events you imagined doing something differently. Sometimes in your memory when he asked what was wrong you pretended you were worried about a work deadline and just swerved the whole fight entirely. Sometimes you still tell him but much more articulately, assuring him you're not blaming him and it's your own insecurities acting up. Sometimes you run to him just before he leaves, enveloping him in your arms and telling him you're sorry for hurting him. He kisses you and buries his face into your neck, he tells you that everything will be okay, and you have nothing to worry about.

But no scenario you could dream up would replace the reality, and what really happened.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of your stomach gurgling. Dinner time. You grimaced, knowing you need to eat but not wanting to risk going downstairs and bumping into Bucky. You'd been putting it off since sundown, annoyed at yourself for not thinking ahead and grabbing something earlier. You picked up your phone and opened a food delivery app, thinking you could just rush to the front door and take your meal to your room with minimal chances of seeing him. Then tomorrow you can prepare something in the day and heat it up right before he wakes. Maybe he'll go out again tonight, anyway.

You scoff at how ridiculous you sound. You know how silly it is to treat your meals like a military operation in your own home just to avoid him - and it's not like you can keep this up forever!

You'll have to see him eventually. You knew that.

But not now. Maybe tomorrow.

But just not now.

You aimlessly scrolled through the food places on your phone when you heard the doorbell ring from downstairs. You strained your ears to hear someone open it and then the drone of low voices chatting in the hallway. Probably one of Steve and Bucky's little minions dropping off more antique packages. You tuned it out and resumed the task at hand, carefully weighing up whether to get your usual or be adventurous and get something new.