Recovery

A Personal Darkness

Urdu

Humanity was as cruel to itself as the kin could ever be. Urdu had long known that, had heard horror stories and of various incidents of just what the race could do to one another. But after listening to Ryker's soft, steady murmur, she realized it was a lot different when you heard about it in a life story.

There was absolutely no reason in this man's early years for him to have not become a monster like the vampires on her planet. In fact, there were monsters with far less cruel upbringings who blamed their pasts on their current decisions. And Urdu did not know why Ryker had held on to, or where he had even found the sliver of morality he'd had when Tim had found him in that alley.

It had also surprised her to find out that he had underestimated his ability to withstand pain. It wasn't that he could deal with it, or even found it pleasurable. No, the man literally didn't react to it. She could smell it on him, but she could also sense the blank wall of control that told her he was zoning out of any sensations she was causing him.

He didn't revel in it; he didn't use it to feel alive, he just endured it and refused to react. It was decidedly dissatisfying to her demon side but heartbreaking to that part of her that boasted empathy for others.

Urdu started with the beginning of his life, what he remembered and had figured out from the few things he had been told when he was younger, etching the tattoo up his left arm, migrating over his shoulder and down the left side of his back as she went through his life story.

It wasn't pictures of specifics, but an overall picture that encompassed the darkness and pain that she saw in her mind when he spoke.

It had been so long since she had allowed herself to tattoo. She didn't know what she was actually producing, but she had the picture within her own imagination for it. His life had changed for the better with painful slowness, and the scene on his back showed that, though it stayed dark, with barbed edges on it until it reached his right arm, where she turned to the present.

Hours passed.

Far longer than she had tattooed anyone else before. It should have taken several sessions, even for a vampire who could withstand more pain and work than a human. When his story ran out, he explained to her, in detail, what had happened here to everyone while she had been gone. It hadn't been kept from her, but she had never pushed to know. But the story of the heartbreak and battles that they had gone through chilled her.

It broke her heart.

And when even that was done, while she was still working, he asked her about her.

Perhaps only to distract himself, perhaps because of the genuine curiosity she sensed from him. Not about everything here, but everything before all of it. The decades and centuries of being a soldier, how she had battled through the ranks of the legions and what wars she had fought in. She spoke of how she had come to be a General for Lucifer, one of two leading the Legions, had sworn her soul more fully to the dark lord, into his service.

Then she spoke of the people who were still there, the ones she cared for, unexpectedly, in the months leading up to the monumental disaster that was everything that went wrong. The fights, the moments of friendship, the planning and the regret for everything that she'd had to do. He didn't ask her about her months of torture, but she told him how she'd taken the form of Lucifer.

Demons weren't supposed to be able to. She wouldn't have been able to harness his power as he had given it to her in their pact, nor would she have been able to manifest his wings if she'd still had her horns.

She had ripped them off herself, snapping them off near the base, with Lucifer's soul and power keeping her alive after he had given it to her. The only one who had known was a friend who had been tasked with a mission that would have buckled most. Masquerade as her killer, betray Lucifer, and lead him to the wrong spot in order to allow Urdu to take his place, and then live with the consequences of all that.

Over half a day passed before she had finally finished the piece.

It was as finished as it could be for now, with room for more to be added, dedicated to his family, including the two children yet to be born and possibly others, if there ever were more. The room was filled with deafening silence when she turned off the gun and sat back, stretching out her hand as he stood and walked silently to the bathroom, where there was a mirror that would show him what she had done.

Urdu carefully put her equipment away, yawning as he walked back into the room. "It's.... Amazing, Urdu. Thank you."

She shrugged carefully. "I do hope it turned out like I picture it in my head."

"Holy shit... You realize that was... nearly twenty hours?" Ryker muttered, the rustle of cloth telling her that he was pulling his shirt on.

As if on cue, Tim's magic shimmered and her mate was standing in the living room with them, his confusion evident. "What the hell are you still doing here?"

"Waiting for Meriwa." Ryker offered, his tone different now that he was facing down Tim.

It returned to its stubborn, half mocking tone that contained the smirk she remembered.

"That was yesterday." Tim's frustration was already rising, perhaps partially from confusion and the stress of whatever he had been doing, carrying the world on his shoulders. "Urdu, love?"

She flashed him a soft smile and stood. "Ryker just kept me company, s'all."

"Is that... why... where'd your tattoo stuff come from... your power... I felt you use a bunch earlier... you're drained." Tim was at her side, running his fingers over her features, sliding them up to delicately brush against her horns before wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

"I gave him a tattoo, Timothy. I'm fine." She purred, closing her eyes and finding herself sinking into the warmth of his embrace.

"Sam and Meri are coming back soon." Tim was talking to Ryker, judging by his tone, before he kissed Urdu's temple. "You need sleep, love."

She nodded, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him for a moment, before pulling away and walking to the bedroom.

Tim would growl at Ryker, probably wait for Sam, and then they would crawl into bed with her. Urdu knew that much. But she was asleep the moment she laid down in bed, without the energy to even take off her clothing.