BLACK | MICHAEL CLIFFORD

Six

Days went by. I've been studying in all my spare time and working hard to collect some money for the car I want to buy for this Summer.

My mother and father wanted to go on vacation to New York and asked Devin and I to join. As silly as it sounds: I refused their offer. I have planned to stay at home and just work and enjoy the Summer, I really need some money to pay college and I haven't even started yet. I know it's weird to have the car as my main priority but I need it to drive myself around from my house to campus.

The early morning has started, so did my exams. I am shaking when I walk into the first class. This has to be done good, I have studied so hard for this.

When I read the first questions my nerves are getting less and I get more relaxed. I know every answer so far and there's no need to stress.

"How did it go?". Gina asks when we walk out off class and finished our first exam.

"Good, with you?". I say with a huge smile on my face.

"Okay. I think I will pass. Just with enough points. I haven't got much time to study because I had work and went to several parties". She sighs. "I need to focus on school but it is so damn boring". I laugh at her and give her a little nudge.

"You'll do just fine". I comfort her causing her to give me a small smile.

We walk to our lockers. Gina grabs a few books to study for our next exam in the next period. She looks confused when I don't even open my locker and I don't want to study. We walk through the hallways and to my surprise Luke is banging his fist against the lockers. His face is fire red and his eyes are watery.

"What is going on?". I ask him when we almost pass him. Gina don't seem to mind and shakes her head. She is his friend isn't she?

"N-Nothing". He mumbles. He can't even look me in the eyes.

"Come on tell me". I can't take it when people feel like shit.

"Come on Rebecca, we should study". Gina grabs my arm but I jerk away.

"Yeah leave". Luke sighs. I can't leave him like this.

"For fuck sake Rebecca it's none of your business leave him alone". She rolls her eyes and grabs my arm again. I give in and let her take me to the library.

We seat ourselves in the back to get some rest. Gina definitely isn't ready for the exams and she has to study hard. Normally I'd let go of my thoughts but Luke is still in my head.

"What's wrong with Luke?". I sigh and whisper. Gina looks up and shakes her head.

"He broke up with his girlfriend". Gina says. "After one year he had to. They are leaving town soon to do some promotion work for their band".

"That is fucked up. They were so cute together".

"Yes. They were". Gina says before focussing on her book again.

"Aren't you mad at Calum for leaving you? I mean, you like him. Doesn't it bother you at all?". I frown.

"We're cool. We're just friends. Shut up and just leave it". She scoffs. "If you're not staying silent, please leave".

I nod and try to leave the library as silently as possible. Everywhere I look are classmates studying. Why am I so sure I know all this material while everyone is struggling?

I walk back to my locker to grab some books. Maybe I need to study after all. Better to know I am really sure I have this all in my head, I need to graduate this year.

"Hey, can I talk to you?". The familiar voice that was stuck in my head says. No. No. No. Michael. I look up and meet the tall figure. My eyes widen at his appearance. I know he normally wears jackets and band shirts and those ugly blue skinny jeans, but his hair...

"Why the fuck did you dye your hair?". I spit and laugh a little.

"Shut up. We need to talk about last week". He rolls his eyes.

"No. You were an asshole just as I thought Michael. You don't have a chance anymore. You blew it". I don't even know why I even asked why he dyed his hair to a brown-ish color. I am just stunned by why he did that and how could I get that in my head? He has been a jerk and I shouldn't talk to him.

"No, I wasn't. I tried to keep you off the alcohol but you drank a glass of wine after another one. I wanted to have a nice evening with you. I wanted to take you out for dinner and go to the movies afterwards, but you completely ruined my plans and you made me so mad. I had one chance and you made me blew it. I know you don't want to see me as a nice guy and you have to be happy that I am gone soon. I will be out of your sight and you will never see me again". He says. His tone is calm yet so full with hurt. "But whatever. I should go and pack my stuff. You can do your exams and do what you think is important for yourself. I just thought you'd like to have an explanation for last week and nothing more. So this is goodbye".

"Michael". I whisper, but not hard enough for him to hear. He leaves without even looking in my eyes. "You're out of my sight but not out of my mind". I mumble to myself.

Maybe I was all wrong after all. For fuck sake Rebecca make up your mind. We could've been friends. Why can't I stop being such a judgemental prick? Why can't I just do what I really love like he does?

I stay silent the rest of the day overthinking what I've done all my life. Nothing. I have done nothing that really made me happy. I always thought pleasing others would make me feel joy, but that is not true. I have been a straight A student ever since I started school and just since a year I sometimes go out with Gina. I did what my parents wanted me to do because they gave me this wonderful life and all those opportunities to grow as a human being. I don't want to be ungrateful but maybe it's finally time to live my life and do what makes me happy. But where do I start?