Count Your Lucky Stars •CHAENNIE•

Chapter 9

Jennie tossed her keys on the entry table and made a beeline for the couch, where she threw herself down and stared up at the ceiling.

Married.

Jisoo was getting married.

On a logical level, Jennie knew she wasn't losing Jisoo. She wasn't losing any of her friends. But Jisoo was going to be someone's wife. Even if Jennie wasn't technically losing anyone, it was still the end of an era, the beginning of a new chapter.

All her friends were settling down, and Jennie? She had yet to find a brand of shampoo she liked well enough to commit to, let alone a whole person.

Roseanne wandered into the living room, barefoot and soft-looking in her chunky cashmere cardigan and pink pleated skirt that barely brushed the tops of her knees. She nudged Jennie's feet aside and took a graceful seat, fingers skimming the skin of her thighs as she smoothed her skirt down with a brush of her hands. The pleats splayed open, the hem of her skirt rising several inches.

Jennie tore her eyes away before Roseanne could catch her staring.

"Are you all right?"

Jennie lifted her head. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know." Roseanne frowned. "You've been quiet since we left the bakery."

"Oh." Jennie let her head fall back against the arm of the couch. "No, I'm fine."

Roseanne nibbled on her lip. "If you say so."

A beat of silence passed, then another, and another.

If you don't reckon with your feelings, sooner or later your feelings are going to reckon with you.

Jennie sighed. "Lisa cornered me coming out of the bathroom. She's planning to propose to Jisoo."

A bright smile graced Roseanne's face. "Really? That's fantastic. Did she tell you when she . . ." Her words trailed off, smile faltering. "Wait. Is it not fantastic?"

Jennie groaned and slipped her glasses off, setting them down on her stomach. She rubbed her eyes, pressing hard until colors burst behind her lids. "No, God no. That's not-of course it's fantastic." She exhaled harshly and lowered hands, blinking into the brightness of the living room. Her vision blurred softly at the edges until she slipped her glasses back on. "I'm happy for Jisoo-and Lisa-but it's just . . ." She swallowed twice, throat aching. "It's nothing. Forget I said anything."

Jennie's eye burned, her lids itchy, like the skin was too tight. Fuck.

Roseanne's fingers curled around Jennie's ankle, thumb brushing the bare skin along the inside of her foot. "It doesn't sound like nothing."

"I'll sound like a bitch." Jennie choked out a laugh. "Scratch that, I am a bitch."

A good friend would be doing a fucking happy dance when their best friend got engaged, and here Jennie was, sinuses burning, signalling the impending rush of tears.

Roseanne made a soft sound of dissent. "You aren't a bitch, Jennie."

She took a deep, pained breath and pinched the bridge of her nose, eyes scrunching. "I'm happy for Jisoo. I am. But-fuck." Her stupid chin quivered. "There shouldn't be a but. I should be happy, full stop, no qualifier. Just over-the-moon thrilled that my best friend is going to be marrying the love of her life."

"You're allowed to feel more than one emotion at a time," Roseanne said, squeezing Jennie's ankle gently. The sweep of her thumb back and forth was soothing, soft without tickling. "It doesn't make you a bitch."