WAITING FOR HIM

Chapter 2

My eyes stayed glued to Jayden as if I looked away even for a second I was sure he would disappear. Phil remained silent at my side, his hand still holding mine tightly, as if to comfort me.
"Elena." He finally replied. He made no move to come closer, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my mom slowly inching away and signalling for Phil to follow suit.
He looked at Jay and smiled. "Hi. I'm Phil. I've heard lots about you."
"Jayden, nice to meet you." Jay smiled politely at Phil, but the way he set his jaw and how his shoulders tensed up, I could tell he was less than pleased and more annoyed
Phil nodded and turned to me with a comforting smile.
"I'll be outside." He squeezed my hand once more before following my mom out of the den.
And we were alone.
Turning my attention back to Jayden, I saw that his eyes were on the doorway that Phil had just disappeared through. I took the opportunity to observe his changed appearance. He had definitely grown taller, and his shoulders had broadened. He was wearing a casual collared navy blue shirt and dark jeans, that showed off his long legs and lean muscle. He had always worn his hair shoulder length, but it was now cut shorter giving him a mature look. His familiar hazel eyes held mine unwaveringly and I felt my heart starting to beat faster. His face held an unreadable expression, and I cleared my throat, being the first to break the silence.
"You're back." I smiled. "You look well Jay."
He returned my smile and nodded. "Yeah I got in this morning."
"How was your flight?" I asked, wanting to keep to the conversation going. I desperately wanted to fling myself at his arms, tell him how much I missed him, and how much his distance had hurt me. But I held it all in, reminding myself that it was him who had been the first to lose touch, and that our relationship was not the same as it had been prior to his move.
"It was tolerable." He turned to pick up the black duffel bag next to his feet. "Definitely glad to be back though. I missed this place."
"I missed you." The words slipped out before I could stop them. I held my breath, as Jayden stilled, his eyes fixed on his bag.
"I missed you too kid." He finally looked up at me.
I smiled in relief, which was suddenly quick to disappear as I realized what he had called me.
Kid. Jayden had never addressed me as that before. Somehow the word felt foreign coming out of his mouth, and it didn't have the same affectionate undertone as it did when Phil used it.
"I'm no kid Jay! I'm 20 now you know." I rolled my eyes and started walking towards him, ignoring my earlier resolve to refrain from hugging him.
"Yeah but you're two years younger than me, so I see you as a kid, comparatively." He defended and seemed to become increasingly uneasy as I got closer to him.
I ignored it and stood him in front of him with a smile, and started to raise my arms when he suddenly lifted his arm to ruffle my hair and promptly side stepped around me.
The sting of his rejection hurt more than I ever thought it could. Taking a deep breath, I turned around, and felt the tears building up inside.
"I wasn't feeling too well this morning, so I don't wanna contaminate you." He finally grinned, trying to lighten the mood.
He was lying. He knew it and I knew it.
I really wanted to start screaming "Don't lie to me you idiot! I haven't seen my best friend in four years and you don't even want to hug me!! What happened to you?? I hate this new you!" But instead, shoving my hurt aside I opted for the less dramatic choice.
"Yeah smart move. I can't miss any school this upcoming week. Got midterms." I laughed, although it sounded hollow and humourless.
He looked taken aback, but immediately masked it with a grin and laughed, although his laugh also sounded forced. "It was good seeing you kid. I should probably head over to the parents now, and start unpacking."
I nodded. "Please tell them I said hi."
"I will." He smiled, and turned to leave the den, and I started following him.
As we descended down the staircase, the heavy feeling in my heart started to grow as I realized he hadn't shown any interest in asking about me or my wellbeing.
My mom and Phil were in the living room, looking over old photographs and laughing but they immediately stopped when they noticed us.
"Honey! You're leaving already?" My mom set aside the album and stood up.
"Yes Aunt May", Jay smiled. "Gotta catch up with the parents and unpack". Just as he had finished speaking, there was the sound of the front door opening, and my neighbour Jill, who lived a couple blocks down the street came in carrying my psychology textbook. Jill was also 22 and had been in the same home room as Jayden in high school.
She stopped short when she noticed Jay.
"Jayden!" She squealed, and setting down the textbook ran up to him. To my utter shock, Jayden opened his arms wide and welcomed her hug. I stood there, feeling my heart churn painfully.
"Jill! Good to see ya!" He set her down and grinned at her. "I gotta head out now, but we'll have to catch up soon."
"Yes! Definitely. Oh my gosh Jayden, you've just gotten better looking, and I didn't even think that was possible!" She gushed, and I felt uneasy as she laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Well I could say the same to you, but you already know you're gorgeous." Jayden replied, smirking at her.
Not waning to witness their flirtation any further, I quickly grabbed the textbook lying on the coffee table and mentioned for Phil to follow me.
"Thanks for retuning my book Jill." I forced a smile. "And Jay, nice to see you again." Jayden turned to me surprised, as if he had forgotten that I had been standing there. That was the last straw to my already crushed heart.
He looked like he was about to say something, but not wanting to be in the rook any longer I quickly turned around and headed over to the stairs, taking them two by two. Behind me I could hear Phil following me and once we reached the upper floor the both of us quickly headed to my room.
"Honey, it's so great that you're back! Please come visit soon, and you should have a sleepover, just like you used to." I could practically hear my moms smile through her words.
"Thanks Aunt May." Came Jayden's voice. "It's great to be back. I missed you guys."
Liar, I thought.
I heard Jill's and Jayden's voices as the front door closed behind them.
Not realizing I had been hiding my breath, I let it it and collapsed on my bed. Phil sat down next to me.
"Wow. So that was Jayden." He shook his head. "Nice guy." He commented sarcastically.
I huffed and proceeded to tell Phil of everything that had taken place between us after he had left the den.
When I had finished, Phil turned to me with a thoughtful look in his eyes.
"Perhaps seeing you in so long made him feel overwhelmed? And seeing how beautiful you've become just took his breath away, that he couldn't afford to be in the same room as you, let alone hug you." He finished with a brilliant smile, seeming to be proud of himself.
I snorted. "You're such a great friend Phil, but I highly highly doubt that." I rolled my eyes, the annoyance of him avoiding my hug, and being distant coupled with his flirtation with Jill threatening to introduce tears.
"I just can't believe what's gotten into him! It's like he's a completely different person. He's not my Jay." I sighed. "The boy who just left my house, is a stranger."
Phil suddenly jumped off the bed and dragged me up with him.
"Ok no more feeling down! We are going to dance." He pulled out my speakerphone and started to play my favourite album, MJ classics.
I rolled my eyes, and couldn't help but join him as MJ's "don't stop till you get enough" came on. The both of us shared an unparalleled MJ admiration, that was often made fun of by most of our friends, claiming we had been "born in the wrong generation". Phil and I couldn't agree more.
As I danced around the room with Phil, I momentarily forgot the heartache and burst into laughter when Phil tried busting into some MJ dance moves.
"You're moonwalk looks like a chicken trying to strut!". I gasped, holding my stomach as laughter rippled through me.
"Ha ha. I know you're just jealous of my dancing skills!" Phil insisted, but stopped and joined me in my laughter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm gonna jump in the shower Phil", I called out to my friend who was lying on my bed, his eyes fixed on the tv. We had eaten dinner and started a friends marathon. I had re watched the series over 10 times, but never got tired of it. Friends was love, and friends was life. And all of my friends shared a similar view.
"Kay Els. I'm gonna get some more egg salad, and I'll get ready for bed." Phil got up and paused the tv before grabbing his bowl and heading out of the room.
I walked over to my dresser and grabbed a set of new pjs before heading over to the bathroom and locking the door. I stood in front of the mirror and observed my reflection. My black hair was tied into a bun, revealing my oval shaped face. My grey eyes stared back at me, and I heard my dad's voice in my head.
"My baby girl got my eyes. Now that's something that will never leave you honey. I'll always be with you through them."
I shook my head as my eyes filled with moisture, trying to forget the painful memory. It had been eight years since my dad had passed away from cancer,but the dull ache in my heart from his loss had never left me. I had been closer to my dad than I had been with my mom, so his death had hit me hard as a 12 year old. I hadn't gone to school for a week afterwards and Jayden had stayed with me every single day.
Jayden.
I sighed and proceeded to take my clothes off and stepped into the shower. As the warm water soaked my hair and trickled down my back, my stubborn mind drifted over to a certain boy with hazel eyes.
Not a boy any longer, but a man now, I reminded myself.
The memory of this evening once again appeared in my mind, the feeling of hurt renewed as I remembered the way he had rejected my hug. The thought of him hugging Jill afterwards was all the convincing needed as the tears began to drip from my eyes, mixing with the water from the shower head.
I held myself and cried, trying to cry all the pain away. I still liked him. I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I had wanted to tell him how much I cared for him, but Jayden clearly had different plans.
It seems like he doesn't even want to be friends. He seemed repulsed by me, I thought.
As I finally cried myself dry of tears, I stepped out of the shower and dried myself and got dressed.
I once again stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and noticed my red rimmed eyes.
"No more." I said out loud to myself. "You're not going to keep crying like this. You promised dad not to cry, remember? Be strong."
I nodded to myself, and wrapped a towel around my wet hair before stepping out of the bathroom.
Phil was already dressed in his pjs and looked up at me, concern immediately filling his face as he noticed my puffy eyes.
"Hey E." He came over to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "You ok?"
I smiled up at him, and nodded. "Yeah. I'm ok. I just needed to let that out. I'm not gonna keep feeling sorry for myself. I'm gonna talk to him. One on one."
"Good. See what's been up, and if he had a specific reason for loosing touch." Phil smiled encouragingly at me as I made my way over to the pull out couch. I placed a blanket over it and got an extra pillow from my closet.
"Yeah. If he doesn't open up to me, then I'll know our friendship is over in his eyes. But I'm not gonna give up. I'm gonna keep fighting for our friendship." I was determined. I was not going to back down. He clearly didn't return my feelings, which hurt, but I didn't want to lose him as a friend, which was an even worse fate.
Phil smiled and was just about to say something when my mom came into the room.
"Honey, just wanted to let you know that Jane called and invited us over to a barbecue at their place on Saturday. It's a celebration for Jayden having finished his degree and come back home." She smiled at me. "And honey, don't be discouraged if Jayden was acting distant today, it has been a while since he's seen you, and he was most likely taken aback by your beauty." She winked at Phil,who beamed at my mom and high fived her.
"Now that's what I'm taking about MamaMay!" He grinned at me as he slung his arm over my moms shudder, who was too busy laughing.
I too started laughing and rolled my eyes. "You two. Always ganging up on me." I felt better however as my mood instantly brightened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I crawled to bed, I hear Phil adjusting on the couch.
"Night El." He sighed, hhis voice laced with sleepiness.
"Night P." I replied, snuggling into my covers.
Closing my eyes, Jayden's family appeared in my mind.
I'm going to talk to him on Saturday, I thought.
My best friend is still inside somewhere in that stranger. And I'm going to bring him to the light.