The Tale Of David And Hayley

The Tale Of David And Hayley #2

"Good morning, class. We've got a new student from today on." The friendly teacher said. She looked way too old to do this job but she looked like a kind grandma, so I didn't really mind. Her green eyes made me think of someone in the past though. I shuddered at the thought. "Eh, I'm David. We just moved here." I explained. The kids from my new class already looked bored, which made me smile. It meant they didn't care about me so they wouldn't bully me either. 

I sat beside a guy who looked much older than me but his pubertal acne said otherwise. Even though he hasn't said a word to me, I still couldn't stand to be so near to him. I liked to have distance because it gave me a chance to run. Nervously, I looked at the other people from the class but nobody had their eyes on me. I was being paranoid again. 

"Hey, faggot!" Someone yelled. I looked behind me, like every other person would have done, and made them laugh because of it. I swallowed as I saw 4 guys approach. I checked every door but they were too far away. "What do you want?" I spat. "Whoa, watch out, guys! He bites!" The leader said. I didn't bother seeing what they looked like because the only type who would bully others like that, were the cool looking guys who thought they were everything even though they had some insecurities themselves. "Leave me alone!" I just wanted to take Hayley with me and get some lunch. She was probably already waiting. "You think you can talk to us like that? Never heard of respect, fag?" They sounded irritated and I knew they wouldn't leave without hurting me. Nobody ever did. I closed my eyes when I saw the first first coming. 

I coughed and saw blood hit the mirror of the boys bathroom. My jaw hurt a lot. I think I broke a tooth too. I took a bottle of water out of my bag and used it to rinse my mouth. I looked up into the bloody mirror and saw a few bruises forming. She'll notice. I took some toilet paper and cleaned the glass because it was the most important to never leave any evidence. I learned that from a young age. I rubbed my face with my sleeve and took a minute to lock my feelings away. If I was sad or angry, what would it change? If I would hit someone back, they'd just hurt me a lot more. 

Just like I thought, Hayley was waiting for me. I knew she wouldn't go alone, not even if I'd come hours later. I smiled the best I could but she saw right through me. "Who did this to you?" She took my face, which made me wince, and looked at me with sad eyes. "It's nothing, just forget it." I broke away from the contact and began eating from the cupcake our new step mom had baked. Hayley sat next to me and did the same. I could still see her thinking though. I knew it killed her to know there was nothing she could do to help me. Yes, she could go scream at those guys and maybe beat them up, but they'd hurt her back. That just wasn't worth it. I was the big brother so I had to stay strong at all times and protect her from everything. "Poo..." Her voice was small and careful. When I looked at her, she had tears in her eyes. "Hayley, don't think about it. It's really nothing, okay? Let it rest." I sighed. "But, no! You always do this! You always take it all upon yourself just to keep me from getting hurt. You don't have to do that, David! I can protect myself! I'm not a little girl anymore, alright? I'm 14 years old!" She cried. I put her head on my shoulder and kisses her head. "That's right. You're not a little girl anymore but you'll always be my girl. And I want let anyone hurt my precious baby sister. I love you and I don't mind dying to protect you." I said. "Don't say that! You know I hate it when you talk about dying so easily! If you have to die so I would live, then I don't want it! I'd rather die than be the reason for your death. You don't have to hurt yourself for my sake, Poo. I can't stand to see you in pain. It kills me." She cried. "Be quiet now. We better stop talking about this because you know I can't change the way I think. I love you too much." 

After a few hours of boring classes and staring people, school was out. Hayley was back to being happy and smiling. I knew she didn't forget though. She never did. I listened to her talking about our new parents. She was always hopeful when some new people decided to take us in but that hope got crushed every time. I just wished she didn't hope too much. "I like mom. Her cupcakes are the best I've ever eaten! She told me we're going to eat pizza to celebrate our 2 weeks together. I'm so glad we met her because she's so kind. Don't you think?" She asked. I just nodded. I knew better.  

"Mom! We're home!" She yelled, as soon as I opened the door. "I'm here, honey!" A voice coming from the kitchen said. Hayley ran to her while I stepped out of my shoes and put them next to the woman's high heels. I saw how my sister helped with making the pizza, which she seemed to enjoy. I walked up the stairs and went to my room. A heavy sigh rolled from my lips. I took my stuffed animal from my bed and looked at it with longing. That little bear was really old and had a green little backpack on his back. That's where I hid my secret. Not even Hayley knew about it. I opened the bag and took the seam cutter out of it.  

First I locked my bedroom door. Then I took off my t-shirt and looked at all the scars littering on my stomach like dead bodies on a battlefield. It was ugly but at the same time it held a special beauty. I pressed the point of the seam cutter in my flesh, just about my belly button. I worked with that sharp thing like I was ripping open a seam of a tough jeans. It did hurt, despite people saying cutters didn't feel the pain. It hurt like hell but I didn't stop. After one big cut, I cleaned the wound with my sock. It wasn't the most hygienic thing to do but I couldn't walk out my room looking like this and I couldn't stop the bleeding with my sheets either. If someone found my bloody sock, I could say I must have stepped in some animal blood. I could fool them by acting dumb.  

I don't remember when I started it and neither did I remember my reason. I just did it. I was still very young though, because I didn't know when to stop or how deep to cut. Some wounds infected and left really ugly scars. But nobody ever saw them because I never cut my arms or wrists. I only cut in my stomach because nobody ever saw me without clothes. That way I could still wear t-shirts when it was hot. I didn't have to be scared of someone finding out. But the guilt was there nonetheless. 

Later, when we were having dinner with two strangers, I felt pain every time I moved or used my stomach muscles. It made me feel at ease because I concentrated on the pain instead of feeling nervous around these people who will shove us away someday. "How was your day, David?" The woman asked. I shrugged. The man rolled with his eyes and played with his food in a frustrated way. I already knew he couldn't stand me. "Where do you have that bruise from?" She sounded concerned. I just shrugged again. Hayley looked at me with sad eyes but didn't say anything.  

Two weeks later we were back at the orphanage.