the seasons change, yet i still think of you

from 86' til 2001

                                                                                           ☀️

summer

hawkins, indiana; august 19th, 1986

Is it scientifically possible to die of heartache?

Robin Buckley is no stranger to loss. Her father left the family when she was around five years old, claiming he was just too tired even if before her eyes he always seemed happy with his life. Her mother died in a car crash when she turned twelve, it was the first funeral Robin ever went to - she hated every minute of it, the grief, the pitylooks, the never ending ceremony.

Robin Buckley also has lost in the field of love. Tammy Thompson never looked at her the way she wanted to be looked at, the way herself looked at Tammy. It was always Steve this, Steve that. Steve, Steve, Steve . No competition has even been risen from the start, Robin knows she never got the girl and never would.

But then she gains. For once in her life she gets something from the universe, and that something (someone) comes in the form of a best friend, a soulmate (in the most platonic way possible), and the last person she ever thought they would be. Her soulmate is no other than Steve Harrington, King of Hawkins High and personal rival of the inner world that is Tammy Thompson's heart. Steve who is someone so different from who he was at school, Steve who cares for children he has met in such a short span of time, Steve who protects. Steve who accepts (it took being high off her mind to come out to Steve Harrington , for fuck's sakes).

Life is an unfair rollercoaster. Robin Buckley's life is like that. Up and down, down and up, loss and gain, gain and loss, only to gain and lose again.

In a Hawkins who looks more like a battlefield now than the city it once was (military cars all around, people in battle armor, monsters everywhere, lack of electricity and people making do with what they had), the weather no longer existent (Upside Down ashes all around, the never changing red lightning of the sky), Robin Buckley loses once again. It was supposed to be a sneak attack, quick because they don't have time to waste anymore, coordinated and efficient, at one of the many nests the demogorgons made. This one seemed clear of predators at first, it seemed safe enough for it to be successful.

But it wasn't. Steve being the bait cost a lot for The Party (now with more members than it had when it started), one less soldier, one less brother (Dustin would regret never telling him that, just as he regrets not being there instantly to fight the demobats with Eddie), one less best friend.

What is supposed to be a sneak attack on the monsters fires back at them. One of them grabs Steve by the legs and pierce his chest time and time again with its claws. Robin and Dustin are there, a reminiscence of their old days as the Scoops Troop (it was only 85, but it feels like a long time ago now), and no one knows who acted first, but they fight their way to Steve taking down the monsters.

Robin has Steve in her arms. Dustin holds his hand (in his head echoes of five months ago, " Never change Dustin Henderson ", " I didn't run away this time, right? ", " I love you man ". Steve looks at both of them, fear and pleading in his eyes. "St- stay s...sa- fe ". He tells them with the last of his breath remaining. A protector to the end.

Steve Harrington is buried in a makeshift grave a few miles away. They don't have time anymore, it's a valuable thing.

Is it scientifically possible to die of heartache? In the afternoon of August 19th, 1986 Robin Buckley and Dustin Henderson truthfully believed so.

                                                                                                  -

"Dingus, if you can hear me still, if you are not gone yet, I want you to know I loved you so much. It's sad you did not get to hear it often, from me, from other people, I think I'll always regret that. My life has never been the same since we started working together, we got to know each other and I guess a bit of trauma bonding brings people together, " she chuckles. "but since that day that you accepted me for me, I knew there was something special about you. I'm so sorry Steve, I'm sorry I never said it more, I'm sorry you did not have more time, I'm sorry. I'll miss you all my life. I wish you would be there for things to come - if we ever get out of this apocalypse alive - because I know you would. If this fucking country could let me get married you would be there with me in the big day, being my man of honor. I miss you already. I miss you so much Steve". She breaks down, no longer able to find more words to express the deep sadness that fills her heart.