Their Parallel Universe ✓

Chapter 19

He wants to scream.

He wants to bump his head into the wall, hoping it will help him forget about his own idiocy. How he wishes he was just sleeping. How he wishes it were all a dream.

But the memories are too vivid to be unreal. He is fully awake now and perfectly aware of what he did.

Sitting up on his bed, Poll hugs his plush toy tightly. He blankly stares at the floor with wide, incredulous eyes, as he recalls what took place after Eujae found him at the overpass last night. He doesn't know what came over him to make him behave the way he did around that guy. All he knows is that he was overwhelmed with fear because of what happened to his mother, but he didn't want anyone, least of all his family, to know how terrified he was, and Eujae was the person who was there with him the whole time.

When he made an excuse to go outside, he just wanted to be alone and ease off his discomfiture. He wanted to find a place where he could release the heaviness that he'd been carrying within him, and before he knew it, he was up on the pedestrian bridge.

He made sure to go somewhere far from the hospital so no one could follow him, and no one could see him being weak. While he was watching the different lights from buildings and cars on the road below, a thought occurred to him. He was used to hiding this part of himself, but at that moment, he thought how nice it would be if he could actually show his vulnerability to someone. He might have been used to bottling up his fears and pains, but that didn't mean he never felt lonely doing that. It was not like he never wished for even just a single person to be with him at times like those.

And then, he remembered Gaele. His online friend might have been the one closest to being his confidante. He might have never seen Poll, but he always listened whenever the male twin needed someone to vent to. More often than not, he was there for him at the perfect time. Still, Poll couldn't help but think it would have been a lot better if Gaele was someone he knew in real life.

Just as he was considering chatting with Gaele, he suddenly heard a familiar voice that made him feel different emotions.

The surprise was a given, but at the same time, he felt reassured—grateful even—when he looked at the person's face. He'd wanted to disappear from everyone earlier, but when Eujae found him, there was no denying how relieved he was.

Right there and then, his rationality went out the window, as all he wanted was to feel someone's comfort. That was why he didn't think twice when he leaned on the guy, seeking to be consoled, and told him what he really felt. Poll just did what felt right then.

Eujae Nigel was the bane of his existence, he knew, but at that moment, the truth didn't matter.

Eujae wasn't Gaele, but just for the day, Poll wished he was.

Now with a clear mind, Poll realizes how embarrassing his behavior last night was. What in the world was going through his mind that he thought it was okay to act defenseless? With that guy, of all people?

And why did Eujae just let it happen? Why didn't he call Poll out for acting strange? Then again, they were equally weird with each other during that time.

Poll feels himself blush when he remembers how close they were standing to each other at the overpass. He can't forget the calming scent of mint that the man gave off, can't forget the gentle brush of his hand against his head as Eujae tried to comfort him.

Eujae smelled nice. His touches felt nice.

Shut up, mind, why don't you fucking shut up? Poll shakes his head furiously as if to get rid of the thoughts. Heat spreads across his whole body and the urge to scream becomes stronger. Why is he suddenly feeling like this? It's terrible enough that he did something insane around that guy, and the way he is reacting to the memory of what happened is not helping him have any clarity at all.