Welcome to the Madness

Next Up...

  Once the salon closed, I knew it was time to get back to the drawing board, Mrs. Harrison had really changed my perspective on my own personal situation with her story earlier today. I know there is a piece of my story missing, a part that I don't know because I never lived it. The question now is; How do I find that missing information when nobody I've asked will be honest with me?

    I scan all the leads that I have so far and all the stories that helped me get to where I am and right now I'm looking for who has holes in their story, who's maybe doesn't make sense because something was left out? 

1) Irene - Claims it is all George's fault that everything was torn apart. (Full story please??)

2) George - Claims it is all Irene's fault he did what he did. (what did he do??)

3) Levi - Claims he was too young to remember (accurate statement he was a baby)

4) Shane - Claims something happened but he cannot tell me... (WHYYYY???)

  By now I have read these same sentences a million times or more yet I still find myself wondering, what the hell am I missing? What could have been so bad that it tore a whole family system down person by person? Was it really George? was it an outside person and maybe George confronted them? So many questions, yet so little answers. To me this has always been suspicious and I knew I had to get to the bottom of it, so today I am upping my game and going to interview my grandfather. Most people in the family will tell you to steer clear of him because he is rude, angry and doesn't like anyone coming to "bother" him. In reality he just doesn't like people bullshitting him, wasting his time or coming to start drama... which is exactly why I hope he doesn't get upset with me for bringing up the topic I plan to.

  As I get dressed all the things that could go wrong with this escapade  started circling through my brain, the one that stood out the most was the one where I piss him off enough that he blabs and tells everyone the answers I am still out searching for. I know I was supposed to stop but how do you do that when this could be the key to unlocking your true self? A boost of confidence hit me, at this point I don't care who I upset because they never cared to tell me what was going on. Of course I was going to go searching for answers on my own, I'm an adult I can handle it just fine!

  Finally turning onto his road I took a deep breath preparing myself for the worst but hoping for the best, i slowly let the exhale out as I pulled into the driveway and slowly pulled the key out. "This is it" I whispered to myself, "this is where I find my answers." I look to his porch knowing this is my last opportunity to turn back if I had any doubts in my mind "You can do this" silently saying to myself in my head, "you can do this."

  *knock, knock* 

  I back away from the door slightly once I hear shuffling inside, I begin to prepare myself for the explanation grandpa will be looking for as to why I have shown up unannounced as well as why I'm poking my nose around past business. "Hey kiddo, look at how much you have grown! it's so good to see you, come in! come in!" Grandpa says smiling from ear to ear.. Did I forget to mention I was grandpas girl? No need to feel so nervous!

  Calmly I say "Hey grandpa, how are you? How is the old farm running?" 

  He looks at me chuckling and says " Well kiddo, the sun is out, the animals are fed and everything is fixed up real nice. So I would say its running smoothly!" his chuckle fades as he goes stone faced "As for me, well my health is declining a bit rapidly. Doctors tell me I'm working my body too damn much, I tell them what good is this body if it won't let me work." 

  I feel tears forming in my eyes before I hear myself start to say "Oh no grandpa, what is it?"

  "C'mon now wipe those tears out of your eyes, I'm still here aren't I? Plus it seems you came here for a reason today, we can talk about this later! What can I help you with kiddo?"

  I take a long look at him before finally answering, "I came to ask you some questions about before and after I was born. What made dad snap and just walk away? What was so bad that nobody wants to talk about it anymore? Why is it that sometimes I feel like the rage is going to bleed out of every part of me? I have so many questions these are just a few! 

  "I will tell you, but you need to sit down and listen so you hear it all not just what you want to hear okay?" He gives me a stern look as if to say I mean it.

  I nod in agreement, as I sit on the couch I ask him one last question "Why is no one else this willing to tell me the truth?" 

  without hesitation he reply's "Not everyone can admit their wrongdoings."