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𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞- Sadie_Stephens
Winner (1st Place)
Bridget_Boyd
Adeline and the Ovunque's Key
Cover: 5/5
Title: 5/5
Blurb: 8/10
Plot: 18/20
Grammar and Vocabulary: 17/20
Character and Development: 8/ 10
Writing Style: 17/20
Overall Emotion and enjoyment: 7/10
Total: 85/100
Review/Final Note:
The title is good and the cover is beautiful. The blurb is okay but it's not well written. There is tense and structure errors. For example 'the key feels special ' should be the key felt special'
And this tense error show up way too often and it disrupt the flow of the book which is a shame because it's a really good book with a nice and active plot.
Also the plot paces too quickly. There should have been some time before the big move. Also her situation should be explained carefully to us not coming in the next chapter to give is a flashback about it.
Also, the characters aren't described. And I still don't know exactly where all this action is taking place. For all I know, they could be living in Pakistan.
But I'm sure these are things you'll take care of when editing and then you're book Will be spiffy.
1st Runner up (2nd Place)
A Dance of Love and Death
Cover: 2/5
Title: 4/5
Blurb: 10/10
Plot: 14/20
Grammar and Vocabulary: 10/20
Character and Development: 5/ 10
Writing Style: 14/20
Overall Emotion and enjoyment: 7/10
Total: 66/100
Review/Final Note: None. I've judged your book in the pink cloud awards, you know my verdict.
Chronicles of Annora
Cover: 5/5
Title: 5/5
Blurb: 4/10
Plot: 16/20
Grammar and Vocabulary: 10/20
Character and Development: 10/ 10
Writing Style: 9/20
Overall Emotion and enjoyment: 7/10
Total: 66/100
Review/Final Note:
The cover is beautiful and the title is great. The blurb however gives away too much of what happens in the book and that could discourage readers.
There is quite a lot of info dumping and this drags down the plot.
It's not the best to start a novel with a full length introduction of your character. This is a novel not a text book. By all ramifications, reading is boring and rather difficult, it's up to you as a writer to write in a way that's interesting to read.
The vocabulary is basic vocabulary and you have a simple writing style. You have a lot of devices like metaphors, alliterations, puns etc take advantage of them to make more compelling prose.
There are also some noticable grammar and structure errors.
But your plot is very creative and I liked the cool rhyme for the prophecy though and brings to light what the story is all about.
As interesting as the prologue was, I kept asking myself what's the point. None of it was making any sense to me.
Who is Theon? How did they meet.
The pacing is too fast. This is because of the info dumping. And the story could use more description of the environment.
2nd Runner up (3rd place)
Our Blues
Cover: 2/5
Title: 3/5
Blurb: 4/10
Plot: 13/20
Grammar and Vocabulary: 10/20
Character and Development: 8/ 10
Writing Style: 8/20
Overall Emotion and enjoyment: 4/10
Total: 52/100
Review/Final Note:
It's not fantasy and it's a short story not a novel so that's a minus.
The title doesn't suit the story. It's about a girl who meets a crew of aliens and here I was thinking it was about mermaids.
You can't blame me because the cover didn't match the story either.
It's an uncreative to start a story with the main character waking up.
Also, how is that her mom called her and she totally ran to the train station without even talking to her mother.
And in chapter two she says she lives alone but her mom called her. Explain?
Did you forget her?
Also, the pacing is too fast. I barely know this character and her M.O and you're shuffling her around from house to train station to following a gang.Although that's probably because your book is a short story and not a novel.
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