New year, New me.
7 months.
7 whole months, you'd think i'd have moved on by now.
made progress, changed my mindset.
as if.
the thoughts spiral my head,
day in, day out.
relentless pitiful debates captivating my every last braincell.
the pressure pushing against every last wall in my mind.
i can't escape.
i can't.
start of 2023
new year, new me?
ironic right.
the exact same preposition came to mind last year,
yet it did come true this time, just in the way you wouldn't expect.
new year, new headspace.
new beginnings.
new me.
a me i didn't know, one that i couldn't even recognise.
one that resorts to self destruction in order to feel some emotion.
one that constantly picks apart others in an attempt to feel better.
one that is the vulnerable person, in a world of shameful people.
Yet after all this.
after recovery as some would put it.
i'm still the same silly old me after all.
the same thoughts cloud my mind, the same feelings captivate my body.
i wonder when i'll escape.
or should i say i wonder how i'll escape.
