i thought i was the duke of earl when i made it with a red haired girl in the chevrolet
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nancy is the type who aspires to 'rule the roost' in any relationship she's in. she'll find herself longing for a relationship where she can wear the pants, where she has final say. because that's all she's known.
in her life nancy has always been graced with the title of 'older sister' and in worse cases, 'eldest sibling'. control is a lifestyle, micromanagement is a way of life that she's grown close with. her life is forever intertwined with the idea everything needs to fall on her to go smoothly. and peeking into her life you'll find beautifully canvasses painted with this very concept.
mike waking up is her responsibility. holly getting dressed is her responsibility. fetching dad's paper from outside is her responsibility whilst she's telling holly mommy will be done shortly. the piling envelopes are her sorting priority amidst her constant darting in circles to make sure mike is still present and accounted for.
nancy would find herself in a short lived first relationship in middle school. granted, she tried to control it the hardest she could but realized that was simply too much effort. making sure he did his homework, making sure his friends didn't fully despise her, making sure her best friend wouldn't tarnish her first love's name.
however once she was sunken deep for the other, all control was lost. worries about best friends and homework were long gone. and control was someone she didn't frequent. until the relationship ended.
for only middle school, she learned quick control made things work.
this would carry on in further relationships, like jimmy from freshman year to the beginning of sophomore year. control was all hers in the beginning, but slipped from her fingers once ultimatums began to appear.
that same tenth year provided another relationship. one where she didn't answer control again. she let him keep knocking. and things seemed perfect. swell. all until she lost so much control her best friend vanished into thin air. or into something's hungry tummy.
and whenever control got away from her, guilt would embrace her. trouble serenading. each time she lost control, once in the aftermath she'd go back, begging for forgiveness.
losing her best friend brought her along the road of another who had lost his. only permanence wasn't his issue. and for a while the two found content having no control together, although allowing nancy to have the most. two wilting roses blooming just a little with each other.
again, until that blooming grew in absence. nancy found herself thriving with full control over herself and no relationship.
did they last? no. because control favored nancy, and nancy favored being alone.
now after all that's happened she'll find herself aching to understand a relationship that she won't need to manipulate the outcome of. does she understand anything but control? no, but she's willing to learn in the right company. if someone out there is willing to show her control doesn't need to exist. and she can leave it sitting on her stoop.
