4-5 • avatar fan-fic

chapter one - jake sully

It's been a couple of days since the death of neteyam, and a couple days since we were accepted in to the metkayina tribe. It's been a hard choice to wether or not to stay within the tribe or leave to be with our own. But I simply cannot, I cannot, not when my son is here. Netyri isn't taking it well either. I haven't talked to her about venturing back to the omatikaya and the forest. I don't know if she's even able to move. The only place she's been able to go is the Ranteng Utralti, the metkayina's tree of spirits, to re-live neteyam. I cant say i've done the same. Lo'ak, kirri, and tuk have all taken turns visiting Ranteng Utralti. Although I think they're using it for two reasons. Neteyam and Spider. Me and netyri agreed to let spider stay with us for a while, but sent him back to the forest since his mask won't last for long, and tornwari and Ronal can't stand the sight of another human.
"Dad." At least I haven't forgotten na'vi. I'm glad my mind is still in the right place to translate.
"yes?". It's Lo'ak.
"I'm going to have to go grab something to eat, you and mom don't have to get up but i'm taking my sisters with me."
"no, I'll come." I start getting up slowly, my legs has never felt so weak.
"no, you don't have to-"
"I want too." i finally stand up. Lo'ak closes his mouth and leads the way. I look back at netyri and she's still looking at the same damn brunt out fire place. I look at her long enough to make her feel my eyes on her, but she doesn't bat an eye. I give up and follow Lo'ak.
Kirri and tuk already have their nets in hand and so does lo'ak. I stand with lo'ak while i watch him fling the net from his hands and waits for fish. I stare out into the sky, it's 2 hours until eclipse. The nights are now usually quite and depressing. Me and netyri never really touch each other anymore, when we sleep. It's a dead, uniform, kind of bed time. makes me think back to Venezuela everyone in their own bunks, speaking strictly forbidden.
makes me feel so inhumane, ironically. Why did this have to happen why now? I just wanted to protect my family and as a result, I lost apart of it. Why? nobody is handling it correctly. It's mentally and physically pulling us apart. Why did he have to leave now. Why? questions and questions fill up my mind. Each one of them are rhetorical. I can feel heat building up until it reaches my nose and eyes. they're stinging. i'm choked up. my body is holding me hostage from breathing. I gasp.
"Dad?" Lo'ak snaps me out of it with his eyes filled with confusion and worry. shit.
"what- yes..yes. what's wrong?" I shook my head and looked at him. Lo'ak goes silent for a second, he's even more confused. I look at him and then tuk and kirri. they're all looking at me.
"what's wrong guys?" i semi smile at them. they look at eachother.
"you're supposed to be helping me, dad." Lo'ak says. I'm embarrassed. I look down at lo'ak's net, which are in his hands, empty and wet. why hasn't he started yet?
"yes, of course. Let's start now." I rub my nose and point forward.
Me and Lo'ak help each other spread out the net and throw it. some time passes by and the people the tribe us labour in the heaps of fish. we all take a couple and take it back to our place. Netyri is still there. She's rubbing her fingers with the ash of burnt wood. how long has she been here for?
The kids drop fish in the front of the entrance, ushering me and netyri to go cut it up. Netyri looks at us when she hears the sound. netyri brushes off the ash and joins me in cutting.
"How are you?" I ask as she starts grabbing the fish.
"i'm okay." she responds "I've just been thinking" she doesn't make eye contact with me while she cuts.
"thinking about what?"
"about, us, this whole place, my family"
"well, can you be specific?" I try to make her eyes meet mine. She looks up at me and sighs.
"I feel like we should be doing more, as a family. I want to live for Neteyam. I can't stop thinking about him. We need to do more than sitting around." she spoke quietly.
i look towards the kids while they try to start the fire. I look back at Netyri. She serious. very serious.
I stay silent for a second. is this what we want? as a family? The question is finally being asked.