let me love you | B.E.

three

⚠️TW: mentions of self harm

Billie's pov:

Mrs. Jones finally dismisses class once the bell rings and I hurry on out of the classroom to go to lunch. I spot my friends as I'm walking to the cafeteria and catch up with them.

"Yooo," I exclaim, jumping on Drew's back.

"Hey, bitch," Conan says, slapping the back of my head.

"Ouch," I fake pout as I rub my head.

"Hurry up, y'all slow as fuck and they're serving fries today," Denzel complains to us.

"Oh, bitch- you best believe I am outta here. See ya!" I tell the group, running off ahead so I can go be first in line.

I hear my friends laughing at my eagerness to get fries before they run out. I mean can you blame me? Fries are basically the only vegan option they ever serve in the cafeteria besides fruit.

I managed to cut my way through a lot of people and ended up being one of the first people in line. Haha, suckers.

I grab a tray and take a fruit cup, banana, apple juice, and my beloved fries. I also might have taken two, don't tell anyone.

I head over to our claimed table with my full tray and sit down, beginning to eat my fries as I wait for my friends to get here. A couple minutes later, they came and sat down with me, digging into their food.

From a distance, I notice Francesca standing in the middle of the cafeteria, holding her tray as she desperately searched the room for a place to sit. Her eyes suddenly lit up and I tried to see what caught her attention. At a table not too far from mine, Nova had waved her over to sit at her table. I don't really know Nova personally, but I shared a class with her last year and she seems cool.

I watched her as she took a seat at her table and was given warm welcomes from Nova's friend group. I found myself smiling to see that she's fitting in well here. I bit my lip as I observed her facial expressions while she conversed with everyone.

Suddenly, her eyes wandered over to me, causing a slight panic in me, but I managed to keep my composure. She blushed when she realized I've been staring at her. She's so pretty.

I'm abruptly taken away from the intense eye contact when Denzel slaps my forearm to get my attention, making me noticeably wince in pain.

"Woah, you okay?" Denzel worriedly asked.

"Bil, you good?" Zoe asks me, Drew and Conan following the same concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lie, trying my best to brush it off.

"You don't sound fine," Denzel furrows his brows.

"Are you hurt?" Conan asks, making my anxiety spike.

"I said I'm fine," I say, slightly raising my tone to get them to back off.

"You know you can always talk to us," Drew puts her hand on my shoulder in attempt to comfort me but I shake it off.

"I'm fine, stop worrying about me," I stand up from my seat and grab my bag, "I'm going to the bathroom, don't wait up."

I rush out of the cafeteria, trying my hardest to control my breathing before I have an anxiety attack. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I desperately needed to get away from everything. I ran into the bathroom, checking underneath all the stalls to make sure it was all clear before I rolled up my sleeve.

I inhaled and exhaled slowly, taking shaky breaths as I tried to calm myself down. I gripped onto the sink in front of me with both hands and stared at myself in the mirror, tears strewn across my face. I bide my time and bite my tongue to keep myself from crying more. I could taste the salty tears on my cheek. I wiped my tears, grazing my fingertips against my cheek.