venus fly trap [blygbank]

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ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : good looking by suki waterhouse
2:31 ───|──────3:34
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you're not who you are to anyone
to anyone, these days
I'm not who I am to anyone
no, not me at all

-
【July 2nd 】

Jacob and I are sitting on a bench next to a big oak tree by the cabins, a common make out spot. Our arms are wrapped around each other. He's practically pushing himself onto me, not giving me any time to catch my breath. He slowly tries to slide his hand up my shirt, making me pull back.

He jerks his arm back, bringing it to his face. "Oh shit, I'm sorry." he groans, "I'm an idiot."

I wipe my mouth and scoot away from him, "it's fine I just..." I stutter looking around me. All of the campers are eating lunch at the moment, so the surroundings are basically empty. It's Kaitlyn and Ryan's job today to supervise the kids while they eat and everyone else gets their own time.

I see Abigail in the distance, she's sitting by a tree - sketching something. I haven't talked to her since I saw her with nick. I don't know why, it's not like she did anything wrong. I don't think she notices either, we only talked a couple times before. It meant more to me than it did to her.
"I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now." I meet his eyes, he glances between mine and my lips. "Just a little summer fun."

His eyes widen and he shakes his head, "oh yeah, same, of course!" He tries to sound confident, but his voice is fast, and it cracks as he speaks.

"Ok, great." I force a smile and Jacob gives me one back. A light bulb suddenly appears in his hand, and he pulls a pocketknife from his pants. Reaching over to the tree and carving something into it.

"But right now, at least to me, summer is forever." When he's done, he tucks the knife away and I see the final product.

♡
Jacob + Emma
4 Ever

I open my mouth to say something then I see Abi walk by with Nick by her side. She's giggling, covering her face with her sketchbook. He's looking at her with a sweet expression, admiring her. They look like a couple right out of a rom com. They perfectly compliment each other unlike Jacob and me.

Without thinking I grab the face of the boy in front of me and smash our lips together. He instantly melts into it while I sit stiff. I don't notice the fact he tries to shift his hand up again.

Once I know that Abi is gone, I separate from Jacob. He stares at me starstruck and tries to lean in, but I stop him. I give him a fake smirk, "save more for later buddy." truth be told, there will be no later, but he never stops his advancing unless I promise more later.

He chuckles then stands up from the bench, reaching out his hand for me to grab. I take it into mine and look up at him as he says. "Let's get back to the kids, shall we?"
"I guess we shall."

-

The kids try to tug on my shirt to pull me along with them, but their twig arms aren't effective. Once they start building up it becomes more difficult to fight them off. "Come on, Ms Emma! We wanna play with you!" A boy about a fourth of my size screams in my arm, his voice almost breaking my ear drums.

I gently push them off, their nails digging into my clothes to stay attached, they almost make a hole in my clothes. "Ok, ok." I laugh against my teeth.

"Emma!" a voice yells. I glance over my shoulder and see Nick rushing over to me. "Can I borrow you for a moment?"

I just stare for a moment, surprised that he's talking to me. I haven't got to know any of the other councilors personally since I've been preoccupied with Jacob and avoiding Abi for unknown reasons. Even when I'm grouped up with the others, Jacob shows up so I never get to interact with the person I'm paired up with.

I snap back into reality, nodding my head. "Oh sure." I turn to my kids. "Go ahead and join Ms Kaitlyn's group, I'll be back soon." The oldest camper does as I say apprehensively.

"What'd you need?" I smile as I press my hands to my hips making me feel important.

"Well, I uh... know this is weird but I've been confused about what I want to do after summer and since you're the only person my age that actually has a career - I wanted to get some advice from you." He stumbles on his words and chuckles softly trying to hide his insecurity about the topic.

"Alright well." I think to myself as I lean back on a pole holding together one of the cabins. "Do you have any hobbies?"

"Not really, I don't have something I'm very talented at." He taps his foot anxiously and presses his lips together.

"Sure, you do!" I soften my expression. "What type of things do you like? Animals? Writing?"

Nick sighs out of frustration, putting his hands to his forehead "I don't know!" he yells then squeezes his eyes shut. He paces around, biting his fingernails.

"You okay?" I ask, concerned.

He stops and looks at me, he's scared. "I'm just afraid that because I don't know what I want to do now, I'll never know." he goes quiet, "I'll be a failure."

I suddenly understand why he's so upset. It would never cross my mind that someone so put together like him would have the same problems like everyone else. People would probably think the same about me.

"Nick." I stand in front of him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I promise you that even if it takes days or months, maybe even years, you will never be a failure. Everyone goes at their own pace. You'll eventually find something that you love, and it'll be worth the wait." he looks at me as I speak and almost immediately his worries fade away. I should look more into counseling.

"Thank you, Emma." he takes a deep breath. "Jacob is lucky to have you."

A hole fills my stomach, but I nod subconsciously, "thank you."

He steps away from me, "I'll see you around." he waves as he leaves, meeting back up with his kids. I watch him until he leaves my view and then turn my attention to Jacob approaching me. His eyes are squinted and he's biting his lip.

"Have fun with your boyfriend?" he spat out sarcastically.

Taken back by his tone I replied cautiously "what?" I laugh, hoping he's joking.

"You think I didn't see you talking to Nick, having your hands all over him?" he crosses his arms over his chest and sizes me up. Definitely not joking.

"I didn't, he was just asking for advice."

"About what?" he interrogates.

"Careers and... stuff."

He scoffs, "oh please, like he would be asking you about that."

I finally feel all the anger build up inside of me, "what does that mean?"

"Just that your little video thing," he does air quotes, "isn't really a career."

"Seriously?" I put my hands to my head, pressing my temples. "I have put my whole life into this 'video thing.' all my time and work and you're seriously gonna say that it isn't really a career?"

I state daggers at him, but he just looks back without changing his expression. I realize this isn't the boy I knew at all.

"Fuck you."

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