chappie twenty: hopeless

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hello...you're happy now but idk after the end *evil laughter*

'I can't wait! I hope this outfit is nice enough. Even if it costed a bit of my allowance, I want to feel pretty for once.'

Yona smiled with a shopping bag in her grasp as she was in the shopping center of her town. It felt as if her body was swarmed up in a blanket, coddled in warmth and happiness. The constant reply of Saiki confirming his non existent feelings for Saiki boosted her mood. There was no doubt he was attracted to her in the slightest.

In her mind, the very back of her mind, she could see a shocked Toritsuka wondering why she was so elated to go on a friendly date with such a boring guy. To that, she'd stick her tongue out and ignore his discouragement. It made her smile at the thought, but she hadn't spoken too much to him. There was a small lingering she couldn't deny, but not enough for her to go out and act on that.

It was a healthy distance. She knew that their friendship wasn't the best. Toritsuka was very much attracted to the girl, but Yona knew that it had nothing to do with any of her qualities, only physical appeal. On the other hand, he was her friend because she was practically the only girl who tolerated him. She constantly overthought and over complicated things on the inside. Yona didn't have feelings for Toritsuka, but she wanted to know that he liked her for her. It was the loneliness and attention that she craved that she unknowingly projected onto the purple haired male. That she finally accepted.

But there were times when Reita was really a nice and funny guy to be around.

Yona let go of the thought for her own peace and looked down at her bag smile. A giddy hum escaped her lips as she stopped to see her own expression on a shop window. Her eyes were filled with such light unlike the usual dull or lazy stare and her lips were in a gentle smile. The circles in her eyes were starting to clear now that she had began to fix her sleep schedule and find the motivation to do more for herself than just feed wants. Yona never felt so much love for herself in that moment. Realizing and being self aware of her growth was tough to accept.

Wanting to capture the moment, she was able to find a photo booth, despite the many people out and about. Yona managed to get in the small space and dug into her purse to find some change. Her fingers brushed past the ticket which she pulled out. Yona looked at the camera, feeling bliss.

The first picture was taken. She prepared herself for another one, this time holding the ticket with one hand and looking at it. It was to be a silly photo for herself and to perhaps show to Saiki.

It unfortunately wasn't taken the way she expected. A dreadful voice from outside of the curtain spoke up,

"Let's take some pictures, Kuu-kun!"

"Wait—"

It felt like the entire moment was longer than it was. The sound of the flash of the camera and the pull of the curtain were in unison. Yona was still looking at the camera, but at the covered her eyes from the brightness. When she opened them back up, the flash went off again. Yona's heartbeat matched the speed of the camera clicks.

"Yona-chan?" Teruhashi greeted the girl in surprise. It wasn't Teruhashi that Yona was looking at though. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

The look on Yona's face morphed into the opposite. It was a false smile, but she looked anywhere else to keep herself from being reminded of the one thing she dreaded the most. She crumpled the ticket in her hand and nodded at the two.

"All yours." She muttered before collecting her shopping bag and purse, looking directly at Saiki. Her words implied that she wasn't only talking about the photo booth. Yona brushed past the two, not sparing another look or word.

Nothing. That's what Yona wanted to feel but it was anything but that. It was a hell of a realization that she came to have feelings for Saiki and even bigger one that he may not have returned her feelings at all. It sucked. She didn't want to grow any connection for Saiki, but it was inevitable with his way of somehow popping up in her life.

'You cling onto people because it's the only way to satisfy your loneliness...just like with Rei—' Yona cursed herself. Nothing about her feelings for Saiki was out of attachment or loneliness. Sure it may have been that way before with Reita and it was a hard pill to swallow. God, why was she even thinking about this. It's not like her or Saiki were dating, it's not like she was attached to him.

'I'm so confusing, I'm even sending myself mixed signals.' Yona grasped the sides of her neck. She took a train ride instead of her usual walk home in case she had a run in with any of the two who shouldn't be named. Her heart was heavy and it was clouding her judgement of the situation. Saiki lied and that hurt.

The train stopped and Yona got off. Her feet dragged against the ground as the closer she got to her destination, the more hesitant she began to feel. If going back was the right choice despite all that she overcame. She was already there, it'd be a waste of a trip, but it would also be a waste of her own self-awareness.

Shaking her head, Yona turned around and began to walk home. Guilt, disbelief, jealousy, and finally anger creeped up with her. Each step felt useless as there was nowhere that she could escape them. As hard as she tried to contain the tears that began to fall, it was to no avail.

"Woah, watch it punk!" A deep voice scoffed. Too distracted, Yona collided into a much taller and chiseled body. She felt firm hands grasp her shoulders to keep her body up. "Uh, I mean sorry miss. Hey, are you okay?"

Yona stared at the stranger through teary eyes. She glanced at the placement of his hands until her eyes met with his concerned purple ones. They were covered behind obviously fake glasses.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I was a little harsh." He spoke to her gently, removing his hands. The stranger didn't get a reply. Instead he was baffled and a bit disappointed at the girl's lack of attention. That was until Yona plopped her head into chest and couldn't hold in her sobs.

"Eh?" He put his hands up in defense as she clutched onto his shirt.

___

don't hate me 😭at least yona didn't give in, I've seen some really good plots with the mc going back to an unhealthy relationship which is realistic but I am not that author and this is not that story 😔

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