Sincerely, Jessie

Day One: Continued

I think that I am the only person on this earth who has experienced such extremely embarrassing moments like this. Why does my mind easily consume me whenever you're the focus? You're the focus to my story Jessie- you are my fairytale. How can someone hold this much power over me? Believe it or not, I am not someone that can be easily absorbed. I am strong Jessie. I promise this is not a dependency issue. Trust me, once you're close to me, you'll be able to figure these types of things out about me. How come you never notice me?  You know what? The closer that I get to you, the less there would be for me to question. Slowly creeping down the hall is the only thing that will pass by time for me. I hate going to the nurse due to the lack of training that the university of Michigan provides for them. Every single problem that a student has gets solved with an ice pack.

I saw the door to the nurse's office get closer and closer. I hate talking about my feelings and it makes me feel extremely sick to my stomach. I started to notice little droplets of sweat creeping to the center of my forehead as if it was a slippery slope. As I began to wipe my forehead, I could feel the corners of my mouth loose elasticity as I enter the nurse's office. The roundness to my plump cheeks is obtaining 50 years of droppage.

Nurse Stacci's face took a ghostly appearance. "Amanda? Is that you? Oh my goodness! You look horri- I-I mean sick!" She laughs nervously after such an embarrassing mistake. I sighed, "You don't say..."

"Here... I am writing you a slip for you to go home. Just give me a moment so that I can call your mo-"

"NO!" I interrupted. Mrs. Stacci gave me a confused look as she finished writing the rest of my pass.

"Amanda, you're underaged. You need to have some form of a legal figure to drop you off home."

"No." I repeated to her.

"You're lucky that you're one of my favorite clients." Stacci said.

"Clients?"

Mrs Stacci giggled at the question. "You seriously don't think that I am going to be a nurse forever, do you? I'm adjusting my vocabulary for when I will be a psychiatrist."

"So then why are you a nur-"

"Amanda, do you want me to answer that question and call your mother to pick you up? Or do you want mind your business and just take the pass so that you can go wherever you want?" Stacci asked.

"Welp! On that note, be anything that you want Stacci!" I said.

I quickly snatched the note and headed out of the school door. The feeling of rebellion rubbed all over me as I ran down the street. I felt as if I was running faster than the cars that were honking at me. All I wanted to do was to get to that café. It feels so good to do something I want to do without the feeling of being held back. In the back of my mind, I can still hear my mother's voice reaching the highest octave trying to figure out why I am at a café instead of in my lab class. Who am I to worry? I can do what I want. I am 20 years old and that means that I can do whatever I want. Why didn't I just move onto campus instead of choosing to stay home. I had so many options other than staying surrounded by the same four walls every day. My ankles started to burn from the constant stomping motion due to me sprinting to the café. The smell of the brown sugar cookies and vanilla coffee stretched closer to my nose. I could hear the bells of the salvation army people outside of the café get closer to me.

The cafe was right around the corner. "Only two more minutes." I said to myself gasping for air. My chest hurts from all of the running. I have not stopped running since I left those school doors. Anatomy class ends at 10:15 so I have 35 minutes to enjoy myself. After that, I have 20 minutes to make it home before my mother catches onto me.