City Of The Damned (Darkly Devoted Series, Book 5)

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Shush," I hissed. "That's enough." Now I was the one glancing down the halls for any sign of Grismal's goblins. Did Ian really know so much about his destiny? And why did he trust Julian enough to diverge all that? If only I could speak to my estranged son.

If only he would listen.

I could barely get Orion to act as I wanted him to, and he was the son who loved us. I wondered by what miracle I could convince Ian to stay away from Grismal.

"Blake is in hiding because he's planning to kill Grismal himself," Julian whispered, his eyes narrowing. "You do realize what that means if he succeeds? All the souls in Mearnox will vanish. Blake's soul will vanish. Your soul will vanish when you die. There will be no doorway for those infected by Black Waters to make it to the afterlife."

I didn't reply. I knew better than to glance at him to signal my assent. I wished I could stop him from talking, but Julian always loved to talk.

"What I want to know is, would Orienne go along with it? Would she sacrifice her son's soul to rid the world of this poisonous substance for good? One son to end the existence of vampires forever?"

"That's enough, Julian. You are out of your damned mind. I'm tired of your gibberish."

Julian chuckled, but his caramel eyes were deadly serious.

"What if I told you there is another way? There is a better way. One that wouldn't involve the destruction of so many once-innocent souls. One that Blake would never consider because it means sacrificing the one thing he would save over all the souls in Mearnox and over the people in this poor world plagued by the Blight Rain."

I turned my back to Julian, but I was listening. He knew I was. He knew me too well.

"Offer yourself to Grismal."

His request was so stupid I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "You don't think I've already done that?"

"No, not your soul. Offer him your heart." Julian sighed and approached me. What a funny sight greeted me in the mirror as I studied the two of us. He was a handsome young man, in the full bloom of youth. I was a woman whose body had started to sag, whose skin had lost its luster, and whose eyes were lined with what could only be affectionately called marks of wisdom. Yet, Julian was here imploring me to seduce the God of Death. Was he crazy?

"Why do you and Blake want to kill Grismal?" Julian asked. "And don't tell me it is to rid the world of Black Waters. The world has lived with its vampires and demons for thousands of years. What has changed? Orienne allowed her descendants and lovers to resist death, but she failed to account for human greed and love. They shared that power with their friends and with their children. Now, because of her acts of generosity, Mearnox is packed to the brim with poor damned souls. Grismal, the poor unloved child of a goddess, is exhausted. He envies his human brother, who is able to enjoy the fruits of their mother's gifts, and to love, to bear children. Wouldn't you feel the same if you were abandoned to a thankless task since the beginning of time? Could you really label Grismal, the villain in all this?"

What a surprising show of empathy for a god who had only just seconds ago was cleaning his boots off using Julian's pretty face. I couldn't deny that Julian was always good at sympathizing with the devil, after all, he wasn't much of a saint himself.

"And you think I can convince Grismal to return to his job of herding souls to the afterlife?" I laughed because it was so funny. In Manna City alone there were women of legendary looks. Heck, outside in the cold, Allison's soul was available for Grismal's taking. "Are you making fun of me, Julian? We both know that even when I was young, I've been called many things, some very unkind names. Only Blake had ever called me beautiful."

"And Grismal may be the God of Death but he is your husband's half-brother," Julian offered. "You're not here solely to serve as a hostage. You're here because Grismal wants to know you. He wants a taste of humanity, of love."

I chuckled again but a little less spitefully this time.

"If Blake plans to kill Grismal in Ian's stead, his fate is already sealed. Either way, he's a dead man. Melody, it's not an act of betrayal to be with Grismal. I don't care what secrets you're hiding. At this point, you're not married to Grismal's brother. You're his brother's widow."

I tried my best not to slap Julian. My hand twitched. I so badly wanted to do it, except to do it would be to affirm that everything he said was true.

Julian smiled at me with that smug, shit-eating look as though he knew exactly what I wanted to do. He was daring me to do it. No, he would enjoy it too much. He would have won if I had slapped that grin off his face. After all these years, he still knew how to rile me up. It has been a long time since anyone spoke to me with such disrespect. Back home, everyone in Manna City knew I wasn't one to be trifled with.

"You shortchange yourself, Melody. No one has to die. Not Blake, not Ian, not even you. Grismal just needs a reason to feel motivated to do his job again. You can cure the world of Blight Rain. Perhaps Orienne may even allow you to quietly pass into the afterlife one day if you do your job well enough."

"Orienne will never do any favors for me," I retorted. At least, that was one thing I could talk about, which was common knowledge. I thought about Julian's words, even though much of it was what I already knew. It wouldn't hurt to have a co-conspirator in all this, one whose welfare I didn't care about.

"You can stay if you agree to stop bothering me with your chatter. Also, know this, Julian Namura, I don't care what kind of deal you have with my son. You're never leaving Mearnox. I'll see to that until the last breath leaves my body."

"I know you can't forgive me."

"Forgive you?" I snarled. "Whenever I look at my husband's face, I see the scar you gave him. I'll tolerate you, but I'll never forgive you."

"I paid with my life." Julian's eyes told me he was trying to be earnest. I couldn't believe he honestly thought that was enough. He didn't even have an inkling of the depth of my hatred for him.

"Yes, and that's only the beginning. I'll make sure you'll pay for an eternity."

~*~

It was the wee hours of the morning back on earth. I laid down in the plush bed and tried to sleep. I tried not to think about my husband in the dark silence of that room. I had slept alone for a while now. I've been living on my own since he left River Way about a month ago. I knew better than to replay those memories in my head in case Grismal was listening. All the same, I felt Blake's absence most acutely now, even though I was prepared to spend the rest of my life alone.

I recalled one morning, not long before he left, I sat and watched him while he slept. I watched as the rays of the morning sun danced about his face, and I tried to memorize every last detail. I comforted myself with the thought that mortal love is finite for everyone. The word happily ever after always meant happily for now.

I loved him until the end; that was all I could have hoped for. Deep down, I know that it is the curse of humankind that devotion continues even when the love story ends. After the man lying beside me in bed, has long since passed into memory, I will still have my imagination to keep me warm at night.

With the passage of time, all reality eventually into fiction. The living, breathing man beside me would one day become a shadow that lives on only in the darkness of my mind.

I turned my eyes away from the empty space beside me in bed. Our time together has passed. It was time for me to continue without him, to live out the rest of my life as he had told me to do. There were infinite possibilities for events that were going to unfold in the coming days, at the end of times. There wasn't a single ending that involved me kissing my husband's lips as the morning sunlight danced over us again.

Julian was right.

It was time for me to act less like a wife and more like a widow.