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"So how do you imagine the color of the sky?"
The last time I hugged my father and looked up at the sky, it seemed as if the vast sky was about to collapse.
"Blue. I was sighted until I was five years old."
It'll be a lie if I say that I remember everything I saw then, but I still remember my brother's cute little face, sky and the ground, fire and water like it was yesterday.
And I also cherish them.
"You're lucky because you're blind."
But I see this as a compensation for my sins and i also believe that I have the misfortune of not having been blessed by a god.
"Why do I love someone like you."
"I didn't mean to say it like that. As time goes by, the beautiful things that we saw when we were young begin to rust and fade. I wanna live in my own imagination like you."
Maybe he is right. Nick used to told me this a few times before. "How lucky you are to be blind, you don't have to see this cruel world." Nick said that.
"Good and bad is not so different. It's just like the two side of a coin. If you don't want the bad then you have to sacrifice the good."
"Do you have anything nice that you wanna see? I can tell about it just like you saw it with your own eyes."
When he said this without any doubt, I laughed out loud and took a puff of the cigarette that I had forgotten to smoke and threw it on the ground.
"Your face."
Matt laughs.
"So even blind people find me attractive?"
"Who said you're attractive? Okay describe yourself. I will tell you if you are actually attractive or not."
I was waiting for him to start talking, when he immediately grabbed my hand and started running it on his lips.
Soft.
Warm.
His lips, which feel so light on the edge of my skin. My breathing becomes heavily, my chest feels like its gonna fall apart as i sense that the time is frozen, when I want to scream out loud.
"Draw me. I will tell you if it's the same."
How does this guy make me feel like a little girl who is in love?
"The color of the sky right now is blue like the deep ocean with gently rolling waves. A few clouds floating, which is not entirely cloudy and thousands of stars are shining like pearls."
I let out a heavy sigh.
Not because I'm sad or depressed.
But because I'm calm.
Because I feel so peaceful that I can never be anywhere else.
"It feels like I'm seeing the world with your eyes Matt."
He gently hugged me from behind and I felt his warm breath on my neck, which left me involuntarily surprised.
I can't count the feelings I've felt since the time I met Matt. Such unknown feelings that completely change in a moment.
"I wish you could. So that you would know that you are the most beautiful in the world."
Have you ever felt an indescribable love? Other people say that he makes me feel so happy or so sad.
Mine is indescribable.
If I don't have him, every cell in my body will fail with every breath I take, and I will miss him with every beat of my heart.
It's almost like when he is with me, then everything will be fine. Just thinking about him makes my chest flutter. An indescribable love and greed that makes me want to rip my heart out and throw it at him.
"Matt, can you be mine?"
Hiding your true feelings because of arrogance is stupid. I like to live without any regrets because you will start dying from inside if you keep everything to yourself just because you don't want to get hurt.
"You are stupid Hazel. You're already mine."
"Of course I'm already yours. I know that. What can I do when the thoughts in my head and even the blood flowing through my body are wanting to be yours. But what about you? Can you be mine?"
My person.
Feelings are strong. This thing can make you lose everything. So you need to make a choice.
I always wished for someone who would do anything for me. Someone who won't give up on me. Someone who knows my worth. Someone who knows what I deserve.
If you think you can trust someone who doesn't know your worth just because you love him, you need to wake up my dear.
Love is great, but it also includes the love you have for yourself.
"If I could choose one second to be yours instead of all the days left of my life, I'd choose you. I will always choose you. No matter what."
