The Alternate Extras of Halesowen

Falling For Guilt

Looking to his friend, Oliver could tell.

The day had been a fun one. Though Oliver wouldn't say he was as much a fan of Sonic the Hedgehog as Brandon, he'd still been willing to join his friend for a weekend down in London. Throughout the day, they'd been enjoying themselves with everything that had been taking place at the event, but Oliver could tell.

Brandon was lost in guilt.

The band of Crush 40 finished their final song, thanking everyone who had been enjoying the live performance. Brandon cheered along with everyone else.

Lights returning to almost full brightness, Oliver blinked the intensity of the lights away.

"Thank you for attending Summer of Sonic," an announcement rang through the hall. "The event is now over, so please make sure to head out through the exits. We hope you had a fun time and have a safe journey back to homes, hotels, or wherever you are staying."

The crowd started dispersing, heading for the door near to the back of the hall. Being near the stage, the two could wait a bit for the heavy load of traffic to disappear.

"This day has been so great!" Brandon exclaimed. "I'm happy I decided to come, and happy you're here, too."

Oliver looked again to his friend. The enjoyment of the day was visible. He'd never seen Brandon smiling so much, even through the tiredness that seemed to be dragging him down a bit. But behind it, Oliver knew the guilt was there.

How could it not.

"Thanks for bringing me along," Oliver replied. "I had a lot of fun."

"Straight to the hotel, or do you need to stock up on drinks first?"

"May as well stock up on drinks."

One of the great things about this weekend had been how cheap bottled drinks were in all the shops along the street. The two had acquired a collection just from the bit of exploring when they'd arrived the day before. But, with tomorrow planned to be a day of exploring London, they'd need more while out in the height of summer.

With the crowd thinned, they joined the tail end of stragglers heading for the doors. Thanking those staffers who waited at the doors for the great day as they left, the two walked it to the nearest shop in silence. There'd be time for talking once sat down.

But the silence gave Oliver time to think.

Jack and his friend Darren had said they were coming. The news of the last week had been full of an investigation into two missing teens from the hillside near where they lived. Brandon had been a bit jittery since that time, but today he'd been extra jittery.

As though he'd expected Jack to have arrived and put his fears to rest.

Drinks bought, and back at the hotel, Brandon let his bag fall from his shoulder as he checked his phone.

Oliver could see he'd tensed as he stared at the screen.

"Confirmed," he just about heard.

"Not your fault," Oliver said, hoping to reassure his friend.

Brandon fell onto the closest bed, face down. "It is, though," the muffled voice stated. Rolling over, he continued with, "I suggested it."

"The hill has always been safe, though. We've been there plenty of times. Had no trouble."

"But there was trouble! On that day!"

Oliver thought. It was difficult to say what needed saying, as anything he did would likely cause Brandon to accuse him of pointing the blame at Jack, and that wasn't his intention at all.

"You... didn't suggest the day, though."

"It was the beginning of summer, though. There was obviously going to be trouble around."

"The same could be said of anywhere."

"If only I could know!" he cried in a strangled howl.

"Know what?"

"What changed! I was with him. The week before. Why not then? Just us two, on the hillside. Why not then?"

"There's plenty we don't know. But I know that you have no blame for what happened. And neither do they."

"But what happened!"

"What does the news say?"

Oliver pulled his own phone out to look at the news from around Halesowen as he heard Brandon say, "News is useless. There's no detail!"

Oliver looked at a few articles. All that was known, or at least all that the police were willing to share, was exactly what had already been known. The only extra detail they'd released had been the names of those who were missing, with photos alongside them. Perhaps to get someone to come forward with more information.

Oliver didn't know what exactly the guilt was about, but it was clear that something was eating at him for this to be such a personal loss for him.

"When you met with him last," Oliver asked, "what did you do?"

Brandon sat up, eyes closed. He took a deep breath.

"He saw me at the hill," Brandon said, voice flat. "Just random chance. We talked about this. About what we'd do this weekend. He..." Brandon's head dropped. "He helped me. And now I'll never be able to thank him for that help!"

That last had been said in a rush, and Oliver knew that was what had been eating at him.

Brandon continued, unprompted, again in the flat voice.

"He taught me to quiet the chaos of my mind. Stop feeling so anxious. So stressed. He said it would take time to fully master the technique when he first told me about it. But, since he went quiet, I've laxed on it. Unable to control it. I just think of him whenever I try it."

"You can't fixate on it," Oliver said, thinking fast about his own readings into reducing anxiety. "That just makes it worse."

"I'm trying. He said the best thing to do... be open with feelings. Not let them become an obsession. I want to be free of this negativity. I'm talking, being open with them. Like he said. But it isn't helping!"

Oliver tried to figure that out. Being open with your feelings and talking to someone, or even just saying them out loud when alone, allowed you to focus on them, to be free of them, in a sense.

But obsession? Same as fixate, he realised. Which he then realised something.

But he had no idea how he'd get Brandon away from that thinking. He wanted to help. To stop Brandon from thinking about Jack. But it seemed such a large task when everything about this weekend, everything about controlling anxiety, would put his mind back where it shouldn't be.

"When we get back," Oliver voiced quietly, "maybe you'll feel a bit better?"

Brandon sighed, opening his eyes.

"I want to be free of it. But I know I won't. Even when we get back. But the best thing I can do is not let it spoil our fun. I know you mean well in what you say."

"Yeah, we can enjoy tomorrow. Whatever we get up to."

"I just hope they can be found and be fine."

"Hopefully they will. Anyway, what are we doing now?"

A good way to help Brandon would be to get his mind off it. A good distraction would help. They didn't have much except the board game they'd bought the day before, but a few games of it would maybe help.

Or some video game talk.

As the night whiled away and the two talked, Oliver couldn't help but wonder at points just how Brandon would be in a week's time from this crushing news. And just how much it would really be ignored during tomorrow's adventure.

If it was raised, Oliver would help in whatever way he could.