The Unwanted Queen

Darkness Envelop Me

Lilith

I ran as quickly as my feet would carry me. I had to get away from the noise. From all the yelling, judgment, and anger. Nothing could change the path my life was taking me on and I needed to be away from it all.

As I was running through the woods, feeling the wet ground beneath my bare feet, the reality of what just happened came to the front of my mind. The tears not having a chance to fall but flying behind me. Being the oldest of royalty means an obvious thing. I was the heir to everything. To lead the covens into the future. The main problem was no one thought I was the right choice.

My personality- too strong.

My looks- simple.

The only redeeming quality I had was my strength and power.

Though the reason that I wasn't enough was that I'm not my sister.

My younger sister, Callista, was everything. With short strawberry blonde hair that framed her face, her flawless pale skin, a small frame, and thin lips that always seemed to be the perfect shade of pink. Not only was she stunningly beautiful, but she had a charming personality that can command all the attention in the room. And did she. At every gathering, she was the center of every conversation. On multiple occasions, I've overheard members discussing how it was a shame she wasn't born first.

I have had that played out throughout my life since the day she was born. I was never going to be enough for any of them. It was a constant fight between my parents and myself. They asked me tonight why I can't be more like Callista. Why can I not behave more like Callista. Why I must have such a rough exterior to turn others away. The key to being a successful leader was to have a social draw. To maintain members in the coven, and to keep our numbers strong, I had to persuade them to stay peaceful and encourage others to follow.

There is no Queen without her people.

At least that is what my mother keeps reminding me.

But I finally did it tonight. I told them I didn't want my birthright. 

I refuse. 

Twenty-six years of the same routines, learning how to be the replacement for my parents one day. Nineteen of those years are compared to Callista. I could do it no longer. Why? When everyone believes she would be a better leader. Even my parents compare us. They should be happy I refused it. Except that isn't how things are done.

In our world- there is no such thing as an abdication or being able to refuse a royal assent. Our bloodline is a true dissent from the original, Lilith. She was known to be Adam's first wife who he cast aside because he was unsatisfied with her. Lilith was the Queen of Demons and one perk of being the queen was that she also granted vampiric abilities which have passed through my ancestry. It has always been the first-born true heir to become the head of the coven. To oversee that her gifts stay strong amongst mortals and our enemies. There has never been a second-born given the head seat. Nor would there be.

My parents named me after the queen in hopes that my rein would be the strongest and long-lasting. Lilith. How much of a disappointment I must be in her eyes. In their eyes. Even though I said I no longer wanted to be queen, it wouldn't change that I will be. I was just so angry and felt worthless to them.

The thing that broke me was Callista's announcement tonight. She announced to the heads of covens that she is getting married. To my former lover, Liam. I thought it had all been done in the past. I caught them together when he and I were still dating. The two of them wrapped up in her bed. I had been heartbroken at the time but they said it was a fling. I had assumed it ended that night since I saw them.

I broke up with Liam over it, forgave Callista for what I thought was a mistake.

No.

They hid their relationship from me.

Liam is the head of one of our strongest covens. Two years older than I, he was raised alongside me to potentially be our next king. We grew up together and decided to start a relationship on our own once we realized we were attracted to each other. Everyone in our circle thought we would make a fine couple and have strong offspring. Liam was my first everything. Four years together and it ended the night Callista turned eighteen. I realize now, he was probably waiting for her to age up so he could be with her.

I truly loved him.

He understood what the pressure of being raised as a leader was. He knew how hard we were trained. We shared similar things that we enjoyed and laughed often. Liam was everything until that night. And now, over a year later, he is marrying my sister. My sister who everyone wants to be their queen. Or at least they think they want her as their queen. They don't know her.

Callista is that way in person, but when it is just our family together, she is cruel. She spins conversations to make someone else feel like she cares but she doesn't. All she wants is attention and everything that I have. Everyone is blind to her manipulating ways, except me. I'm convinced her power is of a siren. Dooming everyone to the cliffs just to watch them die. She's admitted to me several times she only wants what I have. That she felt slighted having to watch as I get everything. I've watched her torture animals with her powers. Callista enjoys others' pain.

After a few hours of running and I had to stop. I leaned over a large stone along the side of a river and breathed in the evening air. My body felt numb. The tears had dried. Was there anything left for her to take?

I felt defeated in the saddest way possible. Everything I had Callista has either convinced everyone I shouldn't have or that she would be the better choice. I fell to my knees, feeling the gravel dig into my legs. I screamed. I slid my fingers into my hair, winding them in, and pulled. Screaming away the pain of everything.

Why couldn't I have been born more like Callista, they said.

This would have been so much easier if I had been. If I could be who she pretends to be.

Bashing my fists into the ground, a small tremor shakes through the ground as a result. Watching the water lick at the rocks as it sloshes around. I feel defeated. Even with all this power inside of me, having Lilith's ultimate gift flow through my veins, I still was played by my little sister.

I could feel the darkness envelop me like a warm blanket on a winter night. Nothing could save me from this. How would I go back like this? Everyone knew Liam was to be mine. Now they'll see Callista does have everything I don't.