Confession

Confession (Part 2)

A/N: Before writing this, to get some inspiration,  I listened to Josh's guided meditation (https://youtu.be/Vxm9L9R-_AY)

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It's been a few weeks since that night in Josh's room.
The next morning, everybody went on with their usual things, like nothing happened.

He didn't mention anything and neither did you.

The boys didn't notice at all that Josh was a bit more relaxed than usual, all that pent up energy gone and replaced by his usual happy carefree self.

Jake was another story, though. Being his twin, you knew that he would immediately notice something was different in his brother.
The worst was that he acted like he knew exactly why.

The moment all of you had met in the hotel hall the morning after, the guitarist's eyes landed on his brother and then, immediately after, on you.

He smirked devilishly as he assessed the light blush slowly creeping on your cheeks.
You tried to bite your tongue and avert your eyes as quickly as possible from him, but he looked like he knew what you did with his brother.
And that he knew that you both liked that very much.

Thank God he didn't say anything there, but you dreaded the moment he caught you alone. You knew that he would say something.

If Josh's situation had improved, yours had worsened, exponentially.

You couldn't really get a nice full night of sleep since your little nightly incursion in his room.
Your brain felt always in overdrive with thoughts and it was becoming almost unbearable, especially at night.

You had to be absolutely exhausted to fall asleep, so it meant that you would toss and turn in bed for many hours before the gods above finally decided that you could get a bit of well-deserved dreamless rest.

The hours you spent in bed, looking at the ceiling with wide bloodshot eyes weren't peaceful.
Not at all.

All you could think about was Josh and his little breathy sounds.

You hated yourself but you couldn't stop thinking about it, not even if you tried.

And when you could finally stop thinking about that dreaded night, you often found yourself dreaming about it.
From those dreams, you always woke up with a start at some ungodly hour, body soaked with sweat and panties ruined.

And falling back asleep was almost impossible.

You didn't even remember when was the last time you had a nice night of rest.
It was really frustrating.

And unfortunately, it showed.

Your skin was dull and the circles under your eyes were so deep that no amount of concealer could mask them. You were jumpy and anything could get you on the verge of tears.
You were a mess.

You were starting to turn even the tiniest problem with the boys' stage clothes into some unbearable hurdle you thought you couldn't face.

You were letting anxiety take a hold of you and you felt like you were drowning.

Tonight was no exception.
You were waiting in your green room for the boys to take the stage.

You were shaking and exhausted and you were afraid to burst into tears if one of them came into the room needing your help with their clothes.

Luckily, this time, all went well.

Until the encore.

You heard the last beats of the drums just before the encore and thirty seconds later someone was threatening to slam your door down.