Oscar Wilson's life was just falling into place. He had a new life and was putting his past behind him. His art was taking off and he was helping so many kids with his group therapy, everything was perfect. That was until his life got turned upside...
For years, I've been stuck. Stuck looking for something that was missing in my life. The only problem- I had no idea what I was missing.
It was like I had an itch that needed to be scratched. When I first felt it, I thought that it was just horniness. But after I slept with someone, it didn't go away, so I slept with another, then another.
Years of sleeping with different men every weekend. Years of trying to itch a scratch that I couldn't reach. I didn't know what I needed to do to get the itch to go away.
I know that I was looking for something in sleeping with all the men, but I did not know what I was looking for.
Oscar would say that I just needed to wait and let things take their course. But I couldn't do that. He didn't know what I was going through, the itch that I had. How was I supposed to let things go when they were constantly telling me that they were there?
I just wanted the itch to go away. I wanted to remember what it was like to lay in bed and not have the itch in my stomach telling me that I was missing something.
I sighed as I sat up from bed, I glanced at the sleeping man next to me. James -or was it, Jason- snored as he turned onto his back.
Itch. Itch. Itch.
I tapped James -Jason? - to wake him up. He took a deep breath as he woke up. He smiled up at me and moved his hand over to caress my naked leg. I looked away from him and pushed his hand away. "I need you to go," I said causing his smile to drop.
"Can I get your number? Maybe I can take you out for some more drinks sometime?"
"I don't think that's a good idea," I said as I pushed the blankets off of me and got up to get dressed. I heard him sigh from behind me as the bed shifted under his weight.
It was quiet as we both got dressed and left the room. I walked him to the front door to be polite, but I shut the door on him as soon as he stepped out.
"Another guy? Really Sam?" Oscar said as he got out two mugs from the cupboard.
"No coffee for me. I'm going to pick something up," I said as I walked up to the kitchen island. "I know you worry about me seeing a bunch of different guys, but I really don't need your judgment. I don't like that I never sleep with the same guy twice, I would explain it if I could, but I know that you wouldn't understand." He stayed silent as I walked away and out of the house.
The coffee shop was always a place where I felt safe. I didn't know if it was the atmosphere or the drinks, everything about the place really.
The bell rang overhead as I walked into the shop. The smell of fresh coffee hit me in a wave of air as it normally did. I smiled softly as I stepped up to the cashier.
"Taylor, you know what I like," I said as I handed her some cash. She shook her head at me with a smile and handed me my change.
"Your cup of full-on sugar will be ready in a minute," Taylor was a nice girl. She was in her final year of high school and already had enough money saved from working to go to any college of her choice. She had two nose rings, three lip rings, and gauges. Her hair was black and purple, and honestly, she looked like kids back from my high school who tried to be 'edgy'- you know the kids who thought being depressed was a cool trend-
Thankfully Taylor was nothing like those kids. She was kind and genuinely struggled with her own demons- she never acted as she did either. The only reason I knew was because I found her breaking down behind the building one day after a hard shift.
I smiled and stepped over to the counter but paused when there were two men standing in my way. "Excuse me, but I need to get my drink," I said as I pointed to my drink that was sitting on the counter behind him. The man closest to me tensed. He had short, curly brown hair and blue eyes. His jaw was sharp and he had a light dusting of freckles across his cheeks.
"R-right, sorry about that," he said as he stepped out of the way. I stepped forward and took my drink. I took my first drink as he continued talking. "I can't help but notice that you're here alone."
His question caused me to chuckle and nod. "Yes, as I am most mornings when I get my coffee. Were you wanting to do something about that, or were you just pointing it out since you're here with someone?" I asked pointing to the guy that stood behind him, the gesture caused him to cringe.
"Him? He's no one. I'd much rather be having coffee with you than him. Why don't we sit down and talk some?"
"You are forward," I said causing him to shrink into himself, the action caused my heart to warm. "But I like that. Come on," I turned away from him and began to find a table.
I found a sunny spot that held a tall table by the window. "So, tell me your name?" He asked smoothly as we climbed into the tall chairs.
"Samual Wilson, but some call me Sammy," I said as I held my hand out to him. "Yours?"
"Lukas Murphy. So, what do you do?" He asked after taking a drink of his coffee.
"I'm in college now. I'm studying to be a writer. I want to write children's books. When I graduate, my twin and I are planning on writing some together. He'd do the illustrations while I'd do the story."
We talked for what felt like hours. All while we talked there was something that felt different. The itch was still there, but it wasn't as strong as before.
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