my super cool really awesome and totally not boring oc's

INCORRECT QUOTES >:]

Orchid: Hi, who's this? Nauten changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.
Travis: What's mine?
Orchid: Dwarf.
Travis: THEY'RE SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!
Orchid: Oh, hey Travis.
Travis: FUCK!

Nauten: If you want my advice-
Travis: No offense but you're the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times.
Nauten: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they've also tried to kill me.
Orchid: It's true. It was mutually attempted murder.

Travis: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?
Orchid: Nauten, probably

Travis: We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.
Orchid: Scrabble? Scrabble's great.
Travis: Not when you're playing with Nauten, it's not. They put words like "ephemeral" and I put "dog."

Nauten: There's beer in the cooler.
Travis: What about for the children?
Nauten: You can get water from that water fountain and use it to water down the beer.
Orchid: Why don't we just give the kids water?
Nauten, angrily: I suppose you could do that!

Orchid: Travis ain't the problem this year.
Nauten: When are you gonna get it? Travis is ALWAYS the problem.

Nauten: I hate Travis.
Orchid: "Hate' is a strong word.
Nauten: I have strong opinions

Orchid: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?
Travis: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Nauten, deer!"
Orchid: ...And what did Nauten do?
Travis: ...They said "Yes, Honey?"

Orchid: Do you cook?
Travis: I made a cake once.
Nauten: Yeah, it was good.
Travis: Really?
Nauten: Don't make me lie twice, Travis.

Travis: Blue M&Ms are the best.
Nauten: whAT IS THIS SLANDER?
Travis: What about it? They are.
Nauten: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!
Nauten: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST!
Travis: YEAH? WELL YOUR MOM'S A HO!
Orchid: They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything.
Artemis: I like the yellow ones.
Travis and Nauten: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

Artemis: You know you can die from that, right?
Nauten: *smoking a cigarette* That's the point.
Orchid: *drinking alcohol* We're trying to speed this up.
Travis: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding*

Artemis: I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call?
Nauten: No. No, Artemis, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Artemis calls Orchid. Number five: Travis.
Travis: I'm Travis, and I approve the order of that list.

*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Orchid: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Artemis: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Travis: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Nauten: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.
Travis: *flips the board*

Travis: I drink to forget but I always remember.
Nauten: You're drinking orange juice.

Travis: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.
Nauten: I will politely decline.

Travis: Are you this rude to everyone?!
Nauten: Yup.
Nauten: Don't think you're special.

Nauten: So Travis, how did your first time cooking dinner go?
Travis: Pretty good if I do say so myself.
Nauten: Oo! Okay, what are we having?
Travis: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato.
Nauten: A whole potato?
Travis: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches!
Nauten: These just look like big slabs of black.
Travis: Because that's what they are!
Travis: And then for desert, we have chocolate.
Nauten: These are just chocolate chips?
Travis: They sure are!
Travis: And then for drinks, we have toast!
Travis: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetite!

Travis: Baby vibes... hold gentle... like hamburger.
Nauten: Punt like football.

Travis, cowering in fear: What do you want from me?!
Nauten, standing in front of Travis: *bites into the whole KitKat bar like a heathen*
Travis, crying: Please...stop...

Travis: Are you trying to seduce me?
Nauten: Why, are you seducible?

Travis: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Nauten is? Because Nauten is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

so- btw-

travis likes nauten
nauten hates travis
artemis and orchid are dating