stay

~

Hester didn't do tears and Hester certainly didn't do weak. Her feelings were buried along with her mother, disappearing completely from her life as the last shovel of dirt hit the grave. She held onto the numbness for her dear life, because the moment she didn't, everything around her would come apart crashing. She wanted respect, she wanted fear, and she could've had it all if she held on a little longer.
But it all came back as the first wave of pain hit her.
She distantly heard the "Watch out!".  Saw the gleam in Aric's eyes as the knife entered and left her body. Saw the torn fabric of her uniform, the gaping wound underneath. Still felt nothing. Anger, maybe. Adrenaline rushed in her veins, blood humming a melody in her ears. The sound of her own heartbeat, rapid, hitting against her ribs like a caged animal.
It wouldn't end well, that was as much as she knew. Stomach wounds never did. His knife went all the way to the handle. How weird it was to see the crimson red on his fingers and know it once ran through her veins.
She was ready to go right till the end, spare herself the humiliation of losing, return him the favor. At least she'd get rid of his disgusting existence forever, do everyone a service.
But she could feel a lump forming in her throat, stomach sinking. Was she about to die? Just like this? The moment of hesitation  was more than enough. She could feel a hand reach for her backpocket, the place she hid her flag. She tried to dodge, calling on a curse. Trapping one of Aric's boys in a thorny bush, spikes driving deep into his skin.
She turned to Anadil, because of course it was her. "Don't you dar-"
She obviously did dare as she watched the flag drop to the ground. Anger surged through her for a fleeting moment. She told them to not do it, in any circumstances. Especially not now. She refused to die like th-
As it hit the dirt, the first wave of pain hit her, her vision blacking out, air blown out of her lungs. When she could see again, she was lying on the ground in front of the school for girls. She caught herself screaming, throat burning from the pain of it.
Nymphs were rushing to her aid, floating across the fields. She tasted blood on her tongue, bitter and salty. When she spat it out, the grass beneath her coloured pink. Tears swarmed her vision. Her abdomen pulsated with agony, drilling deep into her. She wished for the numbness again, a relief from it all, overwhelming her senses, pain so unlike what she felt before.
She reached for her wound. It was wet and repulsively deep, she noticed. Pulling her fingers away, her palm stained red, blood dripping down. Well.
A sob escaped her throat, croaky, feeling unreal. But the ones that came afterwards sounded much more natural, having no strength in her body to fight them.
Curled into a ball, she realized she was dying. And what a waste it was, at the hand of the worst possible person. No glory in it for her. How she wanted to be better than her mother, yet couldn't even get her own fairytale. Defeated at her second trial by tale.
The whole school was watching her sobbing and squirming in the grass, hoping it all would stop. It didn't, hurting all the way to the marrow of her bones.
The nymphs finally came. She barely noticed them, the rest of the world too far away from her reach. She choked on her own sobs, breathing becoming too hard of a task. She was lifted up, harshly, making her wince with the wave of pain hitting her.
Were they carrying her to the infirmary? Was there even any help for her? With the same blast of fire as when she spawned, her covenmates appeared on the spot. She turned her head towards them, wanting to see if they were okay.
Beaten up and miserable and a bit bloody, sure, but other than that, they looked safe. Good. With that, she closed her eyes, hoping it all would stop. It did not, conscience not feeling like a gift, but like a curse, painfully aware of everything.
It just hurt. Too much to breathe, too much to hold a thought. Just pain and-
The sensation of little legs climbing up to her legs. She opened her eyes to see one of Ani's rats, its little eyes watching her as it climbed onto her chest. The nymphs didn't seem to care, getting her to the infirmary as fast as possible, the school's corridors passing them as they flew by.
She tried to find the strength to shoo the little animal away, but something about its presence was comforting. Closing her eyes again. Feeling the tippy-taps of its feet, moving to her arm. And into her hand, head gently rubbing against her palm.
Future of evil, wasn't it? A rat as big as a cat, acting like a friendly dog. Nevermind she knew it could bite half of her hand off, it was so soft and sweet. Even the pain spasming through her body seemed to easen.
Finally, they arrived at the door, her eyes fluttering, mind flirting with unconsciousness. As she was laid onto the hard bed, she finally felt her mind slipping.
Was this it? Did she fail everyon—
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