homophobic boy x another homophobic love story

the schools weirdos

Welcome to my world, the cool one, because everyone is either in love with me or jealous of me, either way it's still great, just like me, I love myself more than you ever will, any who that's enough about me, I'm best friends with Chad, the love of my life, he's so great I'm obsessed, 

"Want to do the hanky panky?" Asks Chad, I stare at him in wonder, am I really thinking about doing it in class? I've hit an all-time low. A note will be made to fix social presentation. By the way I'm Flamabl cocksburg. "Yeah, I'm down homie, dap me up you slut" I say with high confidence knowing I'll only peak in high school, actually, Maybe I peaked in kindergarten, i can't be sure.

He pulls out his handkerchief and pank magazine and i continue to pull out the following from my backpack, I carry around a lot in that bag, it's slightly concerning to me, and therapy worthy to others. We both start dusting our magazines with our handkerchiefs, because that's what hanky panky is right? The sport of leisure dusting the pank magazines? Sometimes if we're feeling frisky it's the New York times!

"Hey Chad?" I say to my little chaddy poo, he responds with "what" I love his kindness. "Do ya wanna hold dawgs while we be hankypankying bruh" I ask this because they're slowly sliding together about to touch, and were both raw dawging, I get little butterfly's fluttering in my chest. I'm not gay bro it's probably just heart disease do not worry. "Yeah, sure  flamable, cock." He mutters, their it is the nickname I obsess over, rolling in joy at every sprout of affection from him needs to stop. We link our toes and smile, the goody two shoes next to me looks at me weirdly, her names Rebecca, I fucking hate her guts, her pussy's bland as well.

I roam around in my own thoughts for a while, still holding grippers with Chad, I think of stuff like "why is my dick so small" and the equation " if Rebecca had 8 gummy bears and 2 legs of ham why did she bite into my nipple and tear out the piercing" that's the hardest math question from mister snickerdoodles class, he's so hot, uhm what I mean is it's 40 degrees Celsius. Yeah...

My focus roams back to the class, which is boring, she's talking about how I gave her 8 stds and apparently that's like not so radical, honestly, I love how my teacher loves me so much, but she's kind of obsessed, like calm down bro... That moment was kind of funny though, everyone thinks I'm weird, but I think I'm just a bit quirky, like why would matter to her that I gave her stds she was boring, she has no personality, but Chad has a personality, mm Chad, tbh nobody ever cares when I give them my sexy ass gonorrhea, because everyone says I'm really hot or is scared and concerned for me, shouldn't they be concerned for themselves, like focus on your own problems Jesus Christ, leave me alone.

I look up at Chad and decide to start a very pleasant and wholesome conversation, 

I've been thinking about my stalker lately, the other day she snuck under the table and bit one of my balls off in class, silly Britney, i love her Shes so great oh my lordy lord, but I would never tell her that because Shes annoying and a goat, like literal goat, somehow, she still takes pictures of me in my sleep though it's really funny.

I see a teacher walk through the corridor to the side of my classroom and into the room Infront of ours, which happens to have a window, don't ask why, the last time someone did they got hit by a bus the day after, so it's bad luck. The teacher happens to be wearing all black and my instincts kick in. I start barking like a Pitbull with overall high confidence which slowly fades to a sad, yapping chihuahua when she stares at me.

My teacher charges over to me looking both evenly concerned and angry, I whimper at her touch and moan when she drags me out the classroom to the principal's office. "Harder daddy" I say and cackle. She let's go in disgust, looking at me like I'm a rotten vegetable, delicious, but dangerous. Probably a pedo, why else would she work at a high school? Any who the principal stares at me with a deadly look in her eyes, she continued with announcing "I think you are a piece of shit, and I can't be stuffed to deal with you so go back to class" I go to moan but she stops me, and I sob at the loss of my wail in despair.