PHOENIX. [sequel to 067]

13. darling?

your eyes slowly opened in a ... weird area. the smell of coffee hit your nose as you attempted to sit yourself up.

the room seemed more comfortable than everything else you had been in previously. your hands pressed against something soft, as a blanket laid on top of you. you're in a bed, a comfortable and soft one.

dottore sat in a small chair with a book in his hands as sunlight poured in through the windows. he doesn't seem to notice you being awake, so you take the moment to glance around. a bookcase, that appears to be up kept, laid against the wall near a small wooden desk. the desk is similar to the one in dottore's office, only this one had small tubes of paint and brushes laid about. there's a few paintings hung up on the walls - most being of nature or of dottore himself. a single potted plant rested on the bedside table, it's pink and .. awfully pretty.

  "my darling?" dottore's voice catches you off guard as he sets down the book. he makes his way over to you, but doesn't reach to touch you or hold up your face.

   "where am i?" you ask him in a voice, different than that of your usual. (however your morning voice is, basically.) the entire room seemingly relaxed you and maybe it's the warm toned colors of the room and the sunlight, but it's comfortable here. safe here.

   "my bedroom," he speaks softly. he reaches out to hold your face, but he retreats his hand quickly and simply sits beside you. he's gentle with his movements, much different than from what you saw of him earlier.

you didn't know what to think about earlier, or was it yesterday now? the time when dottore was more harsh and cold, with .. zander, was it? the whole thing was quite odd. something about how he wanted revenge, for whatever reason, and decided to ... use you to achieve that. it weirds you out, sure, but if it anything it's.. more confusing than "violent."

speaking of, this is dottore's room? his personal sleeping quarters? it seems so out of character for him to have such a relaxing room. he's temperamental, from what you've seen in your eventful day and there's even a few stuffed animals off to the corner (that looked loved and used.) it's a complete opposite from what you've known from him, but, maybe he isn't that bad if he could have such a clean room.

    "oh," dottore speaks softly as his hair, which is awfully long in the mornings, falls to frame his face nearly perfectly. a few strands stuck out here and there, but, it gave him character, "i'm.."

   "you're?" you say as you sit up in his bed, placing the pillows behind your back.

   "i'm not... used to saying this, give me a moment," dottore speaks before falling silent shortly after. he takes his time to gather his next words, "i'm sorry for how i acted, before the whole ... zander situation. and for the zander situation."

his red eyes soften slightly as he looks at you with a more .. gentle, loving, expression. his apology seems genuine to you, mostly because he hadn't attempted to make physical contact with you since the incident, but the situation before then had .. bothered you. greatly.

it made you feel like a bad person, like you did something wrong for having a simple boundary of not wanting to kiss a .. man you hardly knew. again, you definitely knew him more before you died, but now? you hardly do. he's a stranger. well, less of a stranger now, as he had .. gone out of his way to get you from zander.

okay, maybe he isn't all that bad. temperamental, bad with his emotions, sure. but he did go and help you with zander and he's apologizing. and it doesn't seem like he bothered you during your rest, as there are no obvious marks on your body and you're still in the clothes he had helped you into yesterday.

a sigh escapes your lips as you think of your next course of words, as you don't want to necessarily forgive him too quickly; he responded horrible to you have boundaries. but you know he's being genuine, deep down.

   "alright," you speak softly after a few moments of remaining silent, "i don't.. necessarily forgive you."

   "that's reasonable, y/n," dottore responds as he gets off of the bed and took a few steps away from you.

   "but, that doesn't mean i won't," you speak, causing him to turn back around with a slightly confused look on his face, "look. i know that .. before i died, we were probably close, right?"

   "we .. were, to say the least," he responds quickly with the shrug of his shoulders.

   "there's no reason as to why we can't be close again."

   "what are you saying?" dottore replies quickly as a small grin appears on his face for a split second. he's quick to hide the grin with his hand and blamed it on spit leaving his mouth as he talked. but you definitely saw the small grin.

   "exactly what you think i am," you talk as you watch his movements, "make me remember you. become close with me again, after you tell me about zander, though."