Why can't I just tell him. Just get it over with, he loves you, no matter what. This is just something that will always be here. No matter what. I was sitting at the bar nursing a drink, I had just watched Emma disappear into a cloud of darkness and I was feeling extremely guilty about the whole ordeal. Robin was sitting next to me, his hand clutching mine, rubbing my ring on my right hand. "Darling? What's this ring? I always see you wearing it and I have always wondered." He said gently, his thumb caressing my hand. I snapped out of my daze and looked at him with a nervous smile. "It was my father's. It was the one he was going to give to my mother, but he never did, he ended up giving it to me on my wedding day, I've never taken it off since." I said with a sigh, staring at it, remembering my kind hearted father, my heart slowly cracking. "Oh, well it's beautiful." Robin said kissing my hand. I smiled and returned to my drink, scared that my secret might slip.
"Regina, when this child comes, what are we going to do?" Robin said, pulling my drink away from me, it was my second one and I think he wanted me to remember this conversation. I looked over at him and sighed again. "We are going to do whatever is best for this baby. If that means taking it away from Zelena, us raising it, then that's what we're going to do. It just has to be what is right for that child." I said staring into his dark eyes. He smiled and nodded, he then stood up and helped me out of the chair. "I better be going." I said laying down some money for the drink. Robin smiled and lifted the money and placed a twenty down and handed me my cash. I looked up at him and gave him a thankful smile as I returned my money to my wallet. "After what I've put you through, I owe you a couple of drinks." He said kissing me. I smiled and kissed him back lightly, glad to have him back, but still stressed that he would find out.
As I pulled into my house I felt the strong urge to cry, I knew people could still see me outside, so I had to rush into my house if I wanted to break down. I grabbed my purse and rushed inside, the cold wind and light drizzle stinging my face. I slammed the front door shut and lost it. I started shaking and crying, my body sliding down my front door until I was sitting on my floor hugging my knees. What was I going to tell Henry? His mother just sold her soul to the devil for my sake, and I couldn't even help. There was a knocking at the door, I knew whoever was out there could hear me, so I pulled myself together and wiped my face off before I opened the door. Mary Margaret was standing on the porch with Neal wrapped in her arms, her jacket draped over him. "Can I help you?" I said, the words coming out more bitter than I would have liked. She flinched and took a step back. "I'm sorry. Come in." I sighed, opening the door for her to come in. "Regina, I want you to know that David, Hook and I don't blame you. This is not in any way your fault, and we don't want you to blame yourself." She said gently, rocking her baby slowly. My hands mindlessly dropped down to my stomach, an action that I had always done, driven by desire. "Thank you." I said, my voice a whisper, I knew if I spoke in a normal tone she would know that I had been crying. "Now why were you crying?" She said placing her hand on my arm. I looked over towards the study, unable to look her in the eyes. I started to walk towards the study door, she followed quickly behind me and shut the door. "You're safe in here, this is where you can tell me anything." She said gently. I sat down across from her at the table and looked down at my stomach, remembering what I had done, and how I needed to tell Robin. "Regina, are you pregnant?" She asked, shock hinting in her voice. My heart felt like it was cracked, just enough to let a flood of emotions through. I shook my head, tears falling out and wetting the table, my voice making a cracking noise. She looked at me confused, her head tilting to the side. "In my past, I had a conflict with my mother, it doesn't matter now, but because of that conflict, I..." My voice trailed off, I had never told anyone this out loud, it would make it real, not just a bad dream that left me terrified at night. I shut my eyes, the tears still rolling out. I took a deep breath and opened them again. "I can't ever have biological children." I finally uttered. I forgot how much this pained me, how much I wanted to feel a baby form and grow inside of me. I loved Henry with all of my heart and soul, I am willing to die for him, but I wanted to have that moment that all mothers live for, the moment Snow always speaks about, the moment she saw her child for the first time, putting a face to the feeling inside of her. The moment Emma had to look away, to give Henry his best chance. The moment I was cheated out of, by my own hand.
Mary Margaret placed Neal inside of his stroller, then scooted her chair next to me. She grabbed my hand and held it in silence. When I looked over I saw her face was wet with tears also. "You are such a brave person. I had this curse placed on me for a month, right after I had gotten married. I was in such despair that I looked tirelessly for a reversal spell. Regina, you have lived like this for years, and you have never mentioned it once! When did this happen?" She asked her face full of sorrow. I bit my lip and looked her in the eyes. "After Daniel died. On the anniversary of his death." I looked away, not able to look at her anymore, guilt forming in my chest. "Regina..." Mary Margaret said, her hand dropping mine, she bent over and covered her face, her elbows digging into her knees. "I did this." She whispered sitting up, her eyes red and puffy, guilt was plastered on her face, I would know the look, I spent half of my life chasing her around trying to kill her with that look pinned to her face. "No. It was me, it was my own stupid choice, and I have to tell Robin. This was never an issue for me because I thought I could never find love, I would never have the chance. Well now that I do have the chance, I want it more than anything. I saw you, while I sat outside of your hospital room, I turned around the minute I heard him, and that moment. When you see your child, after feeling him for nine months, and finally seeing him. It was beautiful. I love Henry, and I know that biology does not matter when it comes down to it, but I just wanted another chance, another chance with a clean slate. What I have with my son is unique, but for a while I treated him terribly, believing that I was helping him, just hurting him more. I just want to try again." I said wiping the tears from my eyes, leaning back into my chair. "I get it. What I have with Emma is different, we were adults when we met! I know how it feels, you want to try again, a fresh start." She whispered, rubbing Neal's hand in the stroller. "I am going to help you, we are going to Gold's shop, I know he will have something."
YOU ARE READING
Changing the Future
ФанфикRegina has been keeping a secret, she can't ever have children. She has made peace with this, but now that she has a chance to fix this, she is eager to find this remedy. But is she willing to pay the price that goes along with it? I do not own Once...
