"Do you think we can take two more?"

Chapter 1

Tubbo pov

One more day of my life passed, one more day gone. Tommy said i should go round his tonight, to see Phil and Wilbur, but I just think he's worried about me. I keep reassuring him that all is well in my household but I don't think he buys it.

"We're you even listening, tubs?"

I turn my attention to Tommy and Ranboo, who have been trying to have a conversation with me for the past 5 minutes, while I zone out and ignore what they're saying.

"Sorry..." I meant to say it louder but it just came out as a mumble.

"Sorry." It actually comes out loud this time.

This time Ranboo speaks.

"Are you okay, Toby?"

"Yeah, yeah. 'm all good"

No no no no. You cannot be slipping here. Not in school. And certainly not in front of the only people who put up with you as a friend.

But it would be so easy to give into the fuzzy feeling.

NO! Tubbo! You know you can't. It would destroy your friendship, and you don't want that, do you? No, of course you don't, you have no other friends. you need these friends, Tubbo. you've seen and heard what everyone says about the kids that are always on their own, you don't want to end up like that, do you?

"Anyway, tubs, you coming 'round mine tonight?"

"i don't know, toms, mum might not let me, she said something earlier about having someone round later."

It's a lie, mum hasn't spoken to me since last week. She's on some 'work trip' with dad and lani, but tommy doesn't need to know that. He doesn't need to know that I've been on my own since last week. Or that, the foods going to run out and I can't come back by myself with the shopping, or the fact that i know that the 'work trip' isn't actually a work trip, and he certainly doesn't need to know that, I have no idea when they're getting back.

"Come on, tubs, I'm sure she won't mind if you're round for an hour, please"

Tommy looks at me with a pleading look.

"Fine. one hour, I'll tell her I'm revising or something"

"Yay." he half hugs me, "I've got to go to English, meet you by the music rooms?"

"I'll see you then"

Tommy has English, then chemistry, whereas me and Ranboo have math, then music.

"You sure, you're okay, toby?" ran questions.

"I...I..I don't know, ran," I'm going to cry. if he asks me again, i will cry.

"Hey... hey, calm down, what's wrong? what's happened, Tubbo?"

And the floods of tears follow. i can't stop myself at this point. I'm crying and i feel like i can't get enough air into my lungs and the events of the last few days just come crashing down on me.

"i... i... i c..can't b...bre...breathe, ran. i.." i cut myself off.

"Hey, Tubbo, can you hear me?" i nod, "okay, i want you to try and take the biggest breath you can, can you do that for me Toby?"

i nod again and inhale.

"Good, well done, breath out with me, toby"

and i do, i exhale at the same time and rate as Ranboo does. he repeats this 3 or 4 times before i stop crying. And at some point, in my breakdown, Ranboo managed to get note from a random teacher, for us to skip math.

"Ran, 'm sorry" Shit, shit, shit, fuck. I can't slip here, please.. please don't, Ranboo doesn't need to deal with me like this.

I think to the last time i regressed in front of them and how they were so caring and how they understood me when i babbled and that they made me feel more loved than i ever had in my entire life, and that just makes me want to slip more.

"Oh," the realisation sets in and Ranboo goes like-full parent mode, i had never seen this side of him until now.

"Hi, bug, how you doing kiddo?"