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the sacrifical lamb by josefa de obidos 1684 / 'even a worm will turn', wikipedia / never let me go by anne magill 1962 / i guess, mitski / swallower, lyric hunter
i want to believe nature offers just two options: rot and harden
/ NICOLE HOMER
THERE IS AN UNBRIDLED SORT of fury that thrums in the veins of Susan Ahn, like a storm that's been forced to rage in the quiet. She felt it back then, bubbling underneath the surface, and she feels it now, pulsing and demanding to let loose. A sort of grievance she can never quite shake off, a reminder that she may become nothing other than this anger that aches deep in her chest, this fury that consumes and consumes and consumes. (Forgive me, forgive me — for I cannot be who you need me to be. )
There was once a time where Joel Miller believed that life was worth living for. It had been hard, but he had been happy. He had loved, and he had been loved — a purpose and pain that only a parent could ever understand. But now, all he has is this rage, this grief, this fury that threatens to consume and consume and consume. ( Forgive me, forgive me — for I cannot live without you. )
Grief is endless, and so is rage. Love may be grief persevering, but it is also the very fuel for rage; it demands to fight, to break loose, to consume and consume and consume until there is nothing left. Destruction and vengeance. Cruelty and torment. A storm that rages, a storm that never forgets, a grievance that can't be ignored. ( Forgive me, forgive me — for I do not deserve to mourn you. )
Just how far are you willing to go for the ones you love? What horrors will you commit, what anguish will you lay wake in the name of love? Endure and survive, survive and endure; love and grieve, grieve and love; rot and harden, harden and rot. Persevere, and there might be a sliver of hope to quench the anger, the malice that festers like an untreated wound, burning and demanding. But in the aftermath of it all, what will be left other than the fury of the storm raging inside?
(Forgive me, forgive me — what a terrifying thought. )
lee siyoung as SUSAN AHN. 안수지. SUSIE. est.1987. SURVIVOR / ▇▇▇▇
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