I didn't know the precise moment that I knew that I wanted to lay naked before Jack Dawson, arranged in some array of pose, hoping to look as beautifully radiant as the French girls who had allowed him to see their most intimate beauty whilst in Paris. They were evidently proud of their nudity, felt comfortably confident to show a handsome, young artist their body in its entirely, complete with imperfections. Even the loss of a leg hadn't caused one model to feel shame. Neither had it dimmed her beauty and what had emerged from that particular sketch was that no matter how you viewed it; Jack had truly seen her. Truly seen her beauty. And captured it right there on to paper. Jack had a gift to see people; not just their bodies, but their souls, too. It was in the gymnasium, when I had felt the difference between us. There was a dangerous barrier which had now been broken down, and it was terrifying to even look into those truthful blue eyes to see them reflecting my most inner thoughts back to me. Jack knew of my feelings.
I love, Cal. I had tried to convince him. But I didn't. I couldn't.
I was scared. Hearing my mother's words from that morning. Recollecting Cal's frightening outburst at breakfast. It had taken an amount of strength to leave Jack behind to return to the bridge tour, as though nothing had happened; as though a chance at freedom had never been offered. As though I didn't wish to take it. Jack was honest, above anything else and it was true. I could only save myself from this. And, so I did. After seeing just how trapped each and every other person was. A young girl, been schooled in sitting delicately at tea. Taught how to eat a piece of fruit cake. That vision of a child was me, now, and then at that age. A perfectly cultured woman expected to behave so well. Expected to marry Cal. Expected every of... everything except the unexpected.
I tipped a cup of tea over into my lap and left the First-Class Lounge, my mother and her society friends with mouths gaping.
I found Jack at the bow. His face so austere, with hair tangled within the breeze and soon after, my fingers had been tangled within it as he had kissed me. His hands wrapped about my waist. As we seemingly flew above the entire ship and soared across the sea like some great bird. Perhaps, it was then, that I had decided to taste my freedom. To wish to feel his gaze upon my body, to see if he viewed it as tenderly as he did into my soul.
Jack had seen into my soul, just by spending one perfect day with him. Jack had saved me; not just from death but from myself as well. His lips were tender, graceful and slow. It was as though, every part of me was on fire and he was the only connection that I had on myself. On life. His grasp at my waist, and my fingers clinging to the ends of his hair were the only depths of reality which I could feel. Jack had stolen my breath, and my heart was beating entirely for him. My trust placed entirely into his hands. I trusted him to see the Heart of the Ocean; and he had taken the weighty blue jewel into his hands, and examined it with such clarity that I had barely cared for the way in which it sparkled, not in comparison to the blue of his eyes.
Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls. Wearing this.
All right.
Jack hadn't taken his eyes away from the diamond. Still examining its icy depths. Until I had spoken once more.
Wearing only this.
His eyes had come to mine. Startled. His lips ajar and it was as though his breathing had stalled. He was surprised. He was nervous. I knew that. Perhaps, that was the power which had propelled me forward to my bedroom to remove my clothes, and strip away every ounce of wealth. Every single item which would make me Rose DeWitt Bukater. My engagement ring had gone with it. The hideous, gaudy diamond a reminder of me being a simple belonging. An object of Cal's affection which he had almost bought. The diamond was the same; a token not of just his wealth but of his consistent need to own me. Tonight, though. I would own myself. I would bound myself to Jack, somehow. Each time I looked at the Heart of the Ocean from this moment, I would never see anything but him.
