Ashina
Yes, hello my new world. A new beginning of a new day, charet. A new day new stress dapat.
I'm glad that I have sucessful business that support me financially for school and daily life. Hindi ko maipinta ang saya at lungkot na nadarama ko ngayon, having a success without your love ones sobrang lungkot lng isipin.
"I'M NOW OFFICIALLY LAWYER!" I shout with a tears in my eyes. Atty. Cosme haha.
"hoy! Tama ba pagkarinig ko?? You are now an attorney?!" hingal na sigaw ni Sam. Ofcourse Sam is here, I'm in the cafe. "oo na Sam" I replied.
"no, you're not. you're joking" and that she immediately take out her phone and scroll at the final list who passed the board exam. Hindi talaga sya maniwala sa'kin.
1...2...3... at tinakpan ko ang tenga ko.
"OMYGHAD! YOU REALLY ARE! FUCK YOU ASH! oh- I mean Atty. Ash" and she don't stop shouting like she won a lotto.
"stop jumping Sam. Ikaw papagawain ko nitong cafe kapag bigla itong gumiba" at tska naman sya tumigil. "grabe ka! why don't you celebrate? Come on jump and shout with me. Where do you want? Club? Travel? What? We should celebrate you are now a lawyer!!!!" Sam celebrated.
"I miss him" singhal ko. "this is what he want me to achieve, to be a lawyer, to achieve my dreams in life, to become successful one day. Now its all happening. Pero sana hindi ko nalang na achieve lahat, baliwala lahat dahil wala din sya. I wish I didn't achieve all of this. If I didn't achieve anything ba he'd still be here, Sam?" I asked.
" we know where ever he was, he was so proud of all the success you've achieved, so don't worry and don't just sulk about it. Be happy and enjoy this day"sam comforted
alam nyo tama naman sya, hindi talaga dpat minumukmok mga ganito. Pagkamatay nga ng nanay ko hindi naman ako na stress instead nag karoon pako ng cafe, diba. Masyado ko lang iniisip si Clyde na mahilig tumawag ng Atty. Cosme o Atty. Yna sa'kin.
"Let's travel!" I shout that made Sam speechless. "bakit? Mababawasan nanaman ba sweldo mo? Don't worry I'll pay" I added.
"hoy hindi ano, I thought you're going to choose club kasi and no, my treat. You don't need to pay. Omg I'm just so happy that you are already a lawyer just like what you dreamt of."
I went back at my office and pretend I didn't hear Sam. How would Clyde react kaya? is he happy? did he know na ba? hays I don't know.
I packed my things and left my office. Want ko sana pumunta sa?? Sa beach. Of course sa beach, where's my comfort place? at beach. where do I find peace? at beach.
"sam, alis ako. Ikaw na bahala dito" paalam ko. "makaka asa ka!" sagot nya naman.
Hindi na'ko umuwi pa ng bahay para mag palit o kumuha ng gamit. Pumunta ako kung saan ako nakaka kuha ng lakas at comfort. Binuksan ko lang ang likudan ng aking kotse at ni lapit ito sa dalampasigan, kung saan magandang umupo o humiga para sa magandang tanawin at maaliwalas na hangin. Hindi mawawala of course the chips, snacks and of course the drinks. Miss ko na sya.
wow beach.
(now playing ikaw at sila by moira..)
Iniintay ko nalang dumilim dito at grabe hindi ako nagsasawa sa paulit ulit na kanta ni moira hahaha, sakit.
ano ba 'tong si anteh mo moira kasasakit lahat ng kanta eh. Sa sobrang sakit naiiyak na'ko, nanetong si Clyde hindi sana ako pa iyak iyak ngayon e. Wala nga akong jowa hindi nga ako nakaka relate pero miss na miss naman kita buset.
I stayed watching the sun comes down and as usual I'd like to capture every single of it. I tried not to fall asleep bcs I'm not in my house and who knows anong mangyayari sakin dito diba. Of course I clean my place and starts to pack my things up. When I packed all of my stuff I sat down and watch and listen to the waves. Maybe this is what destined to be happen. Maybe I achieved all of this bcs of my hardwork, and not bcs of Clyde. Maybe Clyde is bullshit, waste of time. Maybe this is what he wanted to, to think him everyday and to miss him kasi alam nyang mangungulila ako. Maybe this is what he planned for. Maybe this is something he wants. Why not kasi stay? why did you leave then now it feels like it's my fault, it's my fault for your absence and my lost? Maybe you're taking a revenge? Maybe you left bcs you want to do something wrong with me. Wait that doesn't sound good. Something bad to me nalang. Maybe that's why? If you ever planned something different or anything clyde maybe now it is happening. Overthinking. I overthink you and what I think happened. Me as your friend you need to show up and tell me what's your reason, your main reason. What you want and what your thoughts are. Kasi I'm here naman diba, oh me? totoo silent treatment person ako, pero I go to the beach or to my comfort place to have peace of mind para magkaroon ng kaalaman at mga sagot sa mga bagay na pwedeng ma sagutan. What you've doing until now is what I don't recommend at all. Ghosting me, your friend, family, lover. That's not right Clyde. Naiinis nako sayo, you know imbles na tayo dapat yung nandito nag uusap about my lost and your lost, about my success about my business and any other than that, wala e. That's not going to happen when you left me alone. fuck nakakainis ka.
This day passed by, by me watching sunset, and listening to the waves. After I breakdown, of course I went back to my house. I have nothing to worry about my cafe, still Sam can handle it. Maybe she'll double handle it bcs I'm now a lawyer. I put my things from where they should be going and dress up and ready to rest.
"I'm now a lawyer!" I shout before I passed out.
naihrzx : hi anteh, welcome to chapter 1 medyo magulo pero kaya mo nayan, sariling sikap nalang pls. Eme. sige na proceed to the next chap
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Who's Crazy, Clyde?
Romance! You must read the first book (AM I CRAZY?) ! after the incident, traumas, lost and of course the success in Ashina's life no one can erase the memory of her best guy. The guy who loved and protect her in all her life, who's now gone and didn't eve...
