The Indelibles (Wattys2015)

Chapter Seven: Beytral and Wolves

PHOENIX

Numb. I feel numb. Everything is numb. My body, my mind.

I know it's not completely my fault, it was his decision.

But you could have stopped him if you weren't daydreaming...

I shake my head, clearing the thought. No, get over it, Phoenix. You can't change the past, so move on.

I stare up at the midnight sky, counting as many stars as I can see. After the incident, Faye and I walked until it was dark. No words came from between us. He understood that I was overwhelmed with what happened. But it irritated me too, I'm not weak, I don't need time to recover or anything. Right? I'm fine.

Faye is asleep inside the tent we set up. He was knocked out the moment he sat down. Neither of us had eaten anything. When he fell asleep I became hungry and I was too afraid to ask. So that's also keeping me up. These nightmare-proned lids and growling stomach. I can't sleep. It wouldn't make sense if I could. So I volunteered for the first watch since every time my eyes dared to close the body flashed in front of me.

I shift my body to move the flap that protects the boy in the tent from the cold. I know it's slightly creep-ish to look at him whilst he's at his most vulnerable; his sleep. But the stars are beginning to bore me. The glare he normally tends to sport is gone now. He almost looks childlike when he's asleep. There are so many questions I want to ask him. Like who are these men coming after us? Why has your mean demeanor changed? Will it stay like this? Why do I like your old mean attitude more than the sympathetic one you're sporting right now? Is it because you excite me? How do I stop feeling this way so when I ditch you it will be easier?

When Faye slighty stretches and shuffles in his precious sleep I close the tent and continue taking watch until it's time for us to switch.

I wonder where Ki is. I'm pretty sure she is not dead. She is very small, fast, and unnoticed. It's easy for her to get through the woods quietly. But then again, since these unknown men are lurking through the forest and she has Wes as a possibly to slow her down, I have no idea what could happen to her. I don't know what I would do either. She's the first friend I had in a while and I don't want anything to happen to her possibly because of me. It's so frustrating! I don't even know how to prevent these men from doing what they're doing! What if they're just tracking me down? Or killing everyone to get to me? Faye and I shouldn't have killed them. We could have gotten answers. This whole situation I'm in gives me a headache! Boys are so confusing! I need more female problems in my life. I decide to call Ki to distract myself and make sure she's okay.

I tap away at the communication device on my suit that Fenna made and gave everyone else. I rusty at using the thing. Technology must be his favorite for a good reason. Because I hate it. Partially because I don't know how to use it. But I'm too petty to admit it to someone if they ask why I hate technology when my world is full of it now.

After a few more minutes of confusion at frustration at the device the screen pops up ahead of me, showing Ki's tired face.

In a hushed voice she says "Hey love, how's everything going?"

She is rolled over on her stomach. From her position, I can tell that she was tucked away safely in a tree, Wes only a branch above her.

I decide not to tell her about what happened, because if I say it out loud, it would become even more real. And I'm convincing myself that it not.

"Decent, Faye isn't being a butt anymore, so that's a plus."

"Really? What do you mean?" Ki is surprised by my news. I can tell by the awe in her tone and how she is no longer rolled lazily on her stomach. She's propped herself up against the base of the tree ready to absorb my information. I stay quiet as I feed it to her. How do I tell her this without telling her about the man? Should I tell her? She needs to be warned. I can't risk her life because I'm being a baby and won't say it.