Adrenaline Rush

Chapter Two

A/N: Unedited and not beta read.  

"And hold five, six, seven, eight," Our ballet coach instructs as we stretch into another position.

Since the conclusion of Worlds, our priorities have switched to primarily the Grand Prix series and finals in order to attain as much coverage for support, the supposed 'elitist' status and overall achievements. With our spots for the Winter Olympics claimed, the looming inevitably of our return fills me with much anxiety.

As we stretch into yet another position our choreographers aim to use in our programs, my mind inevitable drifts to darker places. Though we have six months to prepare, the series competition is the final step on our journey to the games. This realisation dawns on me and my heartbeat begins to pickup just as

Jack lifts me above his head. My focus on holding the position as angelic and perfect as I can is trumped by the need to calm my heart as it continues to quicken.

The tight pressure on my throat is the first alarming warning that I need to get a grip and focus on the present, the now. However, I stay too long in my position and when Jack begins to move me I lose my balance and fall. Just as swiftly, he catches me and pulls me against his chest to fix our equilibrium.

"Right, that was our last combinations. We'll increase the complexity next time so Nessa be ready." She comments, fully-aware she directed the second-half of the sentence just for me.

I nod, as I catch my breath and detach from Jacks pressing fingers.

"Are you okay?" He asks, pulling me back towards him by the wrist. He inspects each limb attached to my body, double-checking everything, assuming to reassure himself more- so, that I am indeed okay. After he seems content with his findings, he meets my eyes and begins another assessment. As his eyes search mine, my heart squeezes with the notion that im causing him worry and potential issues for him, possibly further reinforcing the idea that it was me who cost us the gold medal three years ago. Knowing if I don't say anything, my mind will linger on this, and continue down the path I just experienced.

"I'm okay." I smile but shake my head. "No I'm not. I'm overthinking."

He lets me go and we begin our stretches to relax our muscles and reduce the muscle ache I know I'll feel tomorrow.

"You're going to see Dr. Spence tomorrow right?" Nodding to confirm his question, I make a mental note to focus on my anxiety to Olympics and less on my little worries on my relationship with Jack.

Dr. Spencer is a sports psychologist I visit once a week to maintain a healthy mindset and improve my mental health. Having frequent therapy is vital for athletes, but due to the increased stress arising from three years ago, these sessions are as important as our daily ballroom classes.

After our session, Jack drives us to the rink to meet with Coach Silva for an impromptu "professional" meeting she typically has at the beginning of each cycle of training. Typically, I'd head over to either my yoga, pilates or therapy sessions — sometimes with Jack — as he returns to the gym, but decidedly cancelling knowing well enough how serious this meeting is to Coach.

"Being your coach for six years now has meant this meeting isn't necessary but expected." Coach Silva nods to someone as a figure passes by the glass doors behind us. "But I feel as though these are important to officially establish the coming months."

After confirming our daily routines and other necessary technicalities such as advice from our dieticians and choreographers, we discuss the topic I've anticipated the entire time.

"Now onto the conversation I know was Nessa's whole reason as to why she was present and focusing in on the conversation." Coach Silva smiles at me and I unabashedly straighten my posture on the seat which earns a snicker from Jack. I smile eagerly prepared to spit out all the ideas I had brewing over this past couple of weeks.