stars || bakugo x reader (gender neutral)

2. rejections

(y/n) stared at their phone, rereading Bakugo's reply over and over again. They've been sobbing. They still haven't stopped. His reply.. That message that put an end to everything before it could start.. It broke their heart in more ways than one. Their partner's chat head was open right beside Bakugo's, but they didn't dare to look at what (p/n) had to say. They just couldn't. They weren't in their mind right now, it was an explosive man that invaded their heart.

"I can't."

His voice played in their head once more. They curled up and sobbed harder. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt like a fucking bitch but they deserved this. I deserve this. They'd say to themselves. They'd repeat the chant like they should be condemned for falling for their friend. Like they should be penalised for loving someone that wasn't their partner. Like they should be punished for admitting the truth.

It was true. It was true that they didn't love (p/n) as much as they loved Bakugo. The emotions.. The feelings.. Everything they've felt with Bakugo was nothing like anything they've felt with their partner. It was exhilarating. Explosive. It was like jumping down from a plane without knowing if the parachute was working or not. They wanted to take all the risks just for him. They were willing to sacrifice everything, give it all, do everything for him. For their true love.

But did they really love Bakugo..? Or were they just dissatisfied with their situation with (p/n)?

"I can't."

(y/n)'s sobs slowly ceased, and they stood from their bed. They walked to the balcony of their own dorm, staring up at the night sky.

Stars. Every single time I look up to these, I remember him. They thought to themselves while they bit on their lower lip. Looking up to the sky and connecting stars to make imaginary constellations calmed them down but.. Now..? Remembering the man they've fallen for while still with another.. It only brought them even more pain.

"I can't do this to him." They sobbed again, falling to their knees slowly. His verbal reply and message played in their head again. It was like an endless cycle repeating. How would they face them tomorrow?! What were they thinking?!

(y/n) walked back inside and took their phone in their hands, slowly typing out a reply.

"I won't stop."

"You deserve everything.. I love you, I won't stop loving you. I know we can't be together now.. But I can dream, right? I can still hope, right?"

"It's fine you don't accept them now. Maybe one day.. Things will work.."

"I'm.. I'm not happy with my situation now.. And you gave me all of the happiness I have in my heart."

They paused, realising how obnoxious these messages were. Did they stop, though?

Nah, they didn't.

"And even if I'm not the one for you, I'll do everything I can so I could be the one."

And they put their phone down as well, trying to get themselves to sleep. It didn't work, of course.. And they felt the painfully long night alone.

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Bakugo woke up with a throbbing head, and an even more painful chest. He slowly sat up and sighed. Today's a Saturday. He didn't need to wake up early, but he still found himself doing it anyway since his body was already used to it. Memories of the events from the night before had him closing his puffed-up eyes and taking his head in his hands.

His closest friend admitted to loving him while still with their partner.

And he felt so disgusted. The disgust rooted from the fact that he loved them too despite knowing how wrong this whole situation was.

He contemplated a while on his bed, watching the particles in the air float around in the sunlight seeping through his balcony glass doors. Mornings were quiet, and they signified the start of his usual training routines. Was he ready to start though..?

He doesn't know. He was still shaken from last night.

Ah whatever, he had a future to worry about. His friend having feelings for him should be the least of his worries, right?

He stood up from bed and stretched. He looked at his full-body mirror and sighed once again. Things were heavy this morning.. Usually, he'd get on with the day without any difficulties but.. That won't be the case today.

He's in the same dormitory as his friend. Their partner wasn't in the hero course, but they were in the same school too.

He glanced over towards his phone, which was still off, and wondered if he should turn it on. Of course, he should. He had to check his damn mom's messages (to be fair, they're closer now than before.) and see if shitty-hair is ready to work out.

But how would he tell shitty-hair Kirishima that he can't bear to train with (y/n) for now?

He rubbed the back of his neck and decided to turn his phone on while he prepared his things for the day. By the time he got his clothes out of his closet, the phone was fully booted.. And messages were coming in like a storm.

Messages from (y/n).

He pressed his lips together and read them all quietly. "I'll do everything I can–" what the hell? What the hell were they saying now? For fuck's sake, they had a partner! He couldn't stand this.. He couldn't stand the way his heart was beating at those sweet messages.

How could they say this shit when they're still with them?

"Stop."

Was his reply. A firm rejection.. But his internal chaos did not die down. He knows very well..

That the rejection he sent just now was firmer than his actual resolve.