Taste Of Solitude

PROLOGUE

The sound of my alarm woke me up. Nang tignan ko ang cellphone ko kahit sobrang inaantok pa ako, ay nakita ko na 5:00 pa lang ng umaga.

Labag man sa loob ko, tumayo ako para mag ready dahil shift ko na naman. But before that, chineck ko muna sa kwarto niya si Skye, my 3 years old daughter. Tulog pa rin siya, so I smiled at the scene and made my way sa kitchen. Kakauwi ko nga lang kaninang 10pm after an 8-hour surgery on a congenital twins tapos gigising na naman ako. I swear, this job will be the end of me. It feels like med school all over again.

Just took a shower and cooked breakfast for me and Skye. Gigising na 'yon any minute, I still have to drop her off kila Jules, kaibigan ko. Nung kukunin ko na 'yung coffee ko from the maker. I saw the picture again, sa likod ng mga cups ko. Just hiding in the back.

It's a picture of me, and him. I stopped reminiscing because my sleepy child just woke up, still rubbing her eyes. I smiled and rushed to her.

"Goodmorning darling, how was your sleep?" I smiled while asking her. She's still rubbing her eyes. Her eyes are just beautiful, she got it from him. That green eyes of her just screams him.

" Good morning mommy, it was good." Sagot niya lanh na halatang antok pa talaga. I squeezed her cheeks sa sobrang cute niya at pinaupo na siya sa high chair niya para kumain na kami.

" Eat your breakfast and change. I'll take you to Tita Jules. Sunduin na lang ulit kita after work ha?" Sabi ko and she nodded.

She's just 3years old, yet she's smart. She learned how to speak straight nung 2 1/2 years old pa lang siya. More early than any child her age.

She's a mix of me and her father. But her eyes is his father alone. I have hazel eyes, while she has green.

After niya kumain, inayusan ko na siya para ihatid na kila Jules.

"Behave ka lang doon ha? Don't be makulit to Tita Jules." She responded happily which made me smile. On the way sa apartment ni Jules, ay nakinig lang kami ng songs.

After ko siya ihatid sa tita niya, dumiretso na ako papuntang hospital.

I am a general surgeon in one of the finest hospital in Manila. My family's hospital actually. My dad wanted me to take over nung nasa med school pa ako, pero I refused. Kahit ngayon, gusto niya pa rin na ako ang mag manage, pero ayoko talaga. Busy na ako being an attending, I barely see my child lalo kapag puno ang E.R during the holidays. Tapos gusto niya pa na mag take over ako.

I arrived at the hospital mga 8am. The nurses greeted me at dumiretso lang ako sa office ko. Nandoon kasi ang lab coat ko.

May konting paperwork lang sa research na ginagawa ko kaya binasa ko muna 'yon, when I was paged sa E.R kaya nag madali akong pumunta doon.

" Anong meron? " Tanong ko kay Pat. Fellow attending, she's a plastic surgeon.

" Shooting incident. 2 civillians, an attorney, and the shooter. " Sabi niya at naghintay kami sa labas ng ER.

Pat took the first one, 'yung isa sa mga civillian. Ako naman ang kumuha sa pangalawa.

Hindi ko agad nakita kung sino 'yon dahil binasa ko kaagad ang chart niya. Wala pang name.

" Male, 26. GSW to the chest, no exit wounds. BP is 90/60. " Sabi sa akin ng respondent.

"Patient's name?" Sabi ko at lumapit to check him personally.

I was stoned to my position ng makita ko kung sino ang pasyente. Hindi ako makapaniwala na ganito ang magiging pagkikita ulit namin.

" Atty. Ezraell Espinoza. " Sabi ng respondent na hindi ko masyado marinig dahil fixed ang paningin ko sa mukha niyang walang pagbabago.

" He's all yours Doc. " Sabi ng respondent. At pumalit sakanila ang mga nurses.

I checked everything. His temp, heart rate, BP. Nung nag code siya ay pinadala ko kaagad siya sa OR.

Sumunod naman agad ako, dahil need niya ng immediate operation. I was still shkeing while scrubbing. I can't believe it.

His life rest on my shoulders.

Hindi na ako nag atubili at pumasok na agad. I looked at his face first before opening my hand ans starting.

"Scalpel."

The father of my child is my patient. God, guide me.