Taste Of Solitude

IV

Habang nagla-lunch ako sa cafeteria. I can't help myself but reminisce about our first meet.

Hanggang ngayon, I'm still shaking over the fact na I just operated on him.

"Oh, ang lalim ng iniisip mo aba." Bumalik lang ako sa kasulukuyan ng tumabi sa akin si Maxine. Resident ko.

"Wala lang. Kamusta rounds?" Sagot ko na lang, at ininom ang binili kong kape. Sumubo muna siya sa salad niya.Bago sumagot sa akin.

"Let's not talk about it. By the way, true ba na ex mo 'yung attorney na gunshot victim? The one you operated earlier?" Tanong niya na nagpatulala sa akin.

"Yeah." I answered nonchalantly. Napa nga nga naman siya sa naging sagot ko.
"Oh my-- Bakit hindi ko alam na may ex ka pala Lauren Yzabelle Acosta? Wait, is he Skye's father?" She asked again when she managed to stitch it all together.

Sumagot naman ako ng tango lang sakanya na lalo pang nagpagulat sakanya.

"What the actual fuck? Anong plano mo? Sasabihin mo ba sakanya?" Tanong niyam Hindi na niya makain 'yung pagkain niya.

Hindi ako sumagot at ininom ang kape ko para ubos na. "Alam mo? Ang chismosa mo. Kumain ka na. I have to check up on him." Sabi ko at tumayo para umalis na doon. Baka magtanong na naman siya eh.

Dumiretso ako sa nurses station para kunin ang chart niya.

" Room 2037's chart please." Kinuha ko ang chart niya, and started doing notes doon. Out of the corner in my eye. I saw a family rushing in. Kaya binalik ko ang chart sa nurse at sinalubong sila.

Na nagpatigil sa akin ng makilala ko kung sino sila. Agad naman nila akong nakilala. At gaya ko ay gulat din sila.

"Lauren? Oh my gosh, is Ezraell here? Is he safe? Is he okay?" Tanong agad sa akin ng sunod sunod ng mommy niya.

" Yes po, he's in room 2037. Punta na po kayo, I'm sure he's awake. Susunod na lang po ako." Dali dali naman pumunta doon ang mommy niya. In-assist sila ng nurse.

Lumapit sa akin ang kapatid niya at niyakap ako. "Thank you. Lauren." I smiled at him. I pat him on the back, at sumunod na siya sa mommy niya.

Inayos ko muna ang sarili ko. At kinuha ulit ang chart niya para icheck siya.

I'm already outside his room. He's awake, and he's smiling with his family. Skye has his smile. That green eyes of him. I remember always drowing in them.

Nagipon muna ako ng lakas ng loob to face him again after 3years.

I knocked first bago pumasok. There eyes were on me pagpasok ko pa lang. His brother was all smiles, sa hindi ko malaman na dahilan.

"You're awake. How are you feeling?" I asked him, staring directly at his eyes. He smiled at me and nodded.

"Better than ever. Thank you, I heard ikaw ang doctor ko. How lucky.". Sambit niya. Lumapit ako sakanya to check his heart rate.

When our skin touched, I felt some electricity. And his touch was deja vu for me.

"Heart rate's good. Temp and BP is also good." Sabi ko with smiles.

"Uhm, Doc. Kailan kaya siya makakauwi?" Tanong ng mommy niya. Nabigla naman ako sa formality niya.

"Hala, Lauren's fine po. Hindi naman na po kayo iba sa akin." Sabi ko. She smiled at what I said.

"To answer your question naman po. I can't say, honestly. Natagalan po kasi kami sa operation niya. His heart had a tear because the bullet penetrated his chest. And the walls of his heart were thin, kaya nagkaroon ng minor bleeding. But don't worry, his stats are in good condition. But like I said, I would still like to keep him for a couple of weeks more." Sabi ko naman. I faced him.

"Much better kung mag leave ka muna sa firm niyo. I can't give you the thumbs up na umalis." He just nodded.

Lumapit sa akin ang mommy niya.

"Lauren, thank you so much for what you did sa anak ko. Nang makatanggap ako ng phone call saying he was rushed sa hospital. My heart sunk. Turns out you're his doctor. So thank you." His mom said ang hugged me again. Nabigla ako syempre pero kalaunan ay yumakap rin sakanya.

"It's nothing po tita. It's my job to save lives." Bumitaw ako at ngumiti sakanya at sa kapatid niya.

"Maiwan ko na po kayo, may iba pa po kasi akong pasyente. I'll be back na lang po mamaya to check him again." Sabi ko at humarap sakanya. " If you need anything. you can have the nurses page me okay?"

"Sure. Thank you again." He said and smiled at me. Which I responded with a nod, at umalis na doon.

Napa exhale ako paglabas ng kwarto. Inabot ko sa nurse ang chart niya.

"Page me if anything happens okay?" Sabi ko kaagad sa nurse at tumango naman siya.

Pagtingin ko sa watch ko, It's already 3pm. Pumunta ako sa office ko.

I facetimed Jules, para kamustahin ang anak ko.

"Hi! Si Skye?" Sabi ko kaagad pagsagot la lang niya.

"Nako, katutulog lang niya. Maghapon niya akong pinagod okay? Wala atang kapaguran 'tong anak mo. Kanino ba nagmana 'to ha?" Reklamo agad sa akin ni Jules na tinawanan ko lang.

"Uhm, he's here." Panimula ko na nagpatigil sakanya. At lumayo sa natutulog na si Skye.

"Who? Ezraell? How?" Pagtataka naman niya. I sighed at sinandal ang phone ko sa mug ko.

"He was rushed here kaninang umaga. GSW. I operated on him. Fuck Jules, I was so scared inside na baka may magawa akong mali, that could cost his life." Sabi ko at hinilamos ang mukha ko.

"But is he okay na?" Tumango naman ako sakanya at nakahinga rin siya ng maluwag. The three of us were friends before. But Ezra and I cut ties with each other.

Last news namin kay Ezra noon, pumunta siyang New York para doon magtrabaho muna.

Naiwan kami ni Jules dito sa Pilipinas.

Jules and I graduated Med School. But she was forced to take over her family's business kasi na aksidente ang parents niya. Only child lang din naman siya, so no choice din.

"Oh thank God. So anong plano mo? Ipapakilala mo ba sakanya si Skye? I mean, your breakup was intense. Pero he has rights to know na may anak kayong dalawa." Ayan ang kanina ko pa iniisip after ng operation niya.

"I don't know what to do Jules. Hindi pala tanong si Skye about him, pero alam kong curious siya kung sino ang daddy niya. On the other hand, I can't even face him straight kanina nung chineck ko siya. How can I look him in the eyes at sabihin sakanya na may anak kaming dalawa?"  Sabi ko naman. I'm really frustrated right now. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.

" In the end it's your decision. All i'm saying is, may karapatan naman siya na malaman ang about kay Skye. And think of your kid, do you really want her to grow up, not meeting her dad?"