Coming Home- Scarlett Johansson

Part 22

Archer's POV

My ears haven't rung none stop like this since I got back from Afghanistan. That time it was because I was too close to the wall that the team blew up to infiltrate the base I was being held in. I had noise-induced hearing loss at the time because I was too close to the explosion. Explosions cause ringing ears, it is a well-known fact. It took three months for the ringing to stop and another month after that for my hearing to get back to normal. Nearly drew me insane, which is saying a lot since a lot of things at that time were worthy of driving me mad. The day the ringing stopped is the day I knew I was truly free from my captivity.

There hasn't been an explosion this time, to cause the ringing, well not a real one at least. But my world just exploded right in front of me making the ringing in my ears seem fitting. Maybe if I can't hear then I can pretend this is all some mistake, that I had misheard Tiger when he gave me the news. That he was wrong, Daddy and the team are all fine. Maybe they just got pranked, what's the date today? Is it April first? hawk has a pretty twisted sense of humour. 

But even he wouldn't do this. This is a step too far. I know that. 

I had a bad feeling when I said bye to everyone yesterday, I should have made them stay. They had that feeling too, I could see it in their eyes, I could feel it in the way they all held onto me a beat too long, squeezing me a touch too hard. They knew deep down and so did I. I think we all knew on some level that we were saying our last goodbyes to each other, I should have done more. I told myself I was just feeling weird about them leaving because this was different to normal. I was off base for the first time ever when they left, I wasn't watching them go like normal. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe not going to see them off jinxed them or something. I tried to brush the feeling off as I said my goodbyes, and tried to smile through the feeling. I should have known to trust my gut. It's the one thing the whole squad agrees on, always trust your gut. I should have begged them to stay when I had the chance. I wanted to. I should have done it just that once. I should have begged him to pick me. I should have done more. I should have forced them to stay. Then they would be here, with me alive.

I could feel the eyes on me as we walked through the military base here in Georgia. They all know why I am here. They are all saluting me as I walk past. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I just want to leave this place and never come back. I want away from any and all things military-related. They have taken enough from me. 

But I know that is impossible. 

Now that they are all dead I guess my choices are Tiger or going into the foster system and after all the story Daddy told about being a foster kid I am willing to bet a lot of money that Tiger takes me. Which will be nice of him, I should be thankful for that. I am thankful for that, I guess. At least it will all be familiar. I'll spend the next seven years like I have the rest of my life, bouncing around military bases across the world training to be the perfect soldier. Eventually, I will sign up and spend my life serving my country until I am killed in action. That will be my life. Heck, that is my life now. From this moment on I know exactly the type of life Daddy had and I know my life will be just like his. And no matter how much I love my Daddy I never wanted to be like him but I guess now I will have to be like him. My life is set in stone from this moment on.

I am broken from my thoughts when Tiger stops walking and nods to the screens now on display in front of us. I watch as he turns to me, his face stoic but his eyes begging me not to do this. He doesn't understand. This isn't his Daddy, his family. They are mine... they were mine. I need to know there is no way they aren't out there. I need to know there is no way I can save them. They all rescued me once. I need to be sure I can't rescue them to repay the favour. That I can't find them and free them from this nightmare. That's it. Maybe this is all one big nightmare. A sick joke my mind is playing on me because I thought I could only have one nightmare a night. That makes perfect sense. Or at least it would except I didn't wake up when I punched the mirror. Surely that would have woken me up if this was a nightmare.