Goofy Little Thing Called Love

Chapter 1 - Meat Cute

"Oh gawrsh! Max! You forgot your form!" Goofy yelped, balancing his coffee mug in one hand and grabbing the paper from the countertop with his other. It crumpled against him as he pulled his robe tighter around himself and rushed out the door after his son.

He stopped short on the stoop. Max was already halfway to the bus stop and Goofy weighed rushing after him and risking embarrassing his already huffy teenager against just dropping the form at the school later that morning.

A loud bang startled him out of his thoughts, and he jumped, dropping his cup of coffee.

"Yaaah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooey!!!" He yelped as the mug shattered, splashing hot liquid up his bare legs.

He glanced up to see the source of the commotion and noticed a big box truck parked in the driveway next door and a squat man in purple overalls and a yellow t-shirt and matching cap dragging a brown leather couch out of open back door. His face was red with exertion and his round belly pressed against the arm of the sofa, but Goofy couldn't help but notice the man's muscular frame as his arms flexed beneath the tight yellow sleeves of his shirt. He had a bulbous nose that Goofy found kind of adorable and a strong, masculine cleft chin, but what really caught Goofy's attention was the man's mustache. It was thick and black and squiggled away from his nose on either side.

The man sat the end of the couch on the ground, pausing to catch his breath, and his eyes met Goofy's. Goofy blushed but gave a big smile and a wave and hollered "Howdy, neighbor!"

The piercing eyes of the mysterious stranger dipped down and Goofy's followed them to see that his robe had come open in all the excitement. His face went as red as the dahlias in the flower bed, and he scooped the robe back around himself and rushed back into the house, slamming the door behind him. He braced himself against the door for a moment, as if readying for impact, before gasping out the breath he had been holding and collapsing into a fit of laughter.

Well, that was certainly one way to make a first impression.

He glanced down at the now severely disheveled paper in his hand.

Crap.

He still needed to get this to the school for Max, but he would need to shower off the events of the morning first.

He started toward the bathroom but stopped for just a moment to peek out the blinds at the house next door. The man had disappeared inside, but Goofy shivered a little thinking back to the way his large, sculpted arms tensed under the weight of the sofa. Perhaps a cold shower would be best this morning.

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Goofy stepped out onto the plush purple bathmat and pulled his towel around his slender frame just as a loud knock sounded from the front door.

"Oh, gawrsh, what now?" Goofy sighed to himself as he rushed to answer the door.

He flung it open to find himself face to face with the man from next door. The man's expression was unreadable, but he held a large roll of sausage in his hand.

Goofy swallowed hard as a tingle ran up his back. "H-hello," he managed to choke out.

"Hiya, it's-a me. You're new neighbor." The man's voice was high and almost melodic, but a little gravelly, and Goofy felt his legs go to jelly at the sound. "The name's Wario. I-a wanted to apologize for all o' the noise earlier. I didn't mean to-a scare you." He glanced down for a moment, almost demure, before returning his gaze to Goofy and holding out the sausage like a peace offering.

"It's-a not much, but I make a pretty good Mortadella."

Goofy wrapped his fingers around the huge tube of meat, and nearly gasped at the heft of it as Wario released it.

"Gawrsh, it's heavier than it looks." Goofy said, and noticed a slight pink rise in Wario's cheeks in response. "I would invite you in, but I have to get to the school in a hurry."

"Ah, it's-a no problem," Wario said. "It's nice to meet you, uh-"

"Goofy!"

"-Goofy. I'm sure we'll-a be seeing more of each other." And with that, Wario turned and walked away, giving Goofy a rather pleasant view of his taut little butt in those overalls.

Goofy stared for a moment then shook the dirty thoughts out of his head and closed the door.

"Get it together, Goof! We've got places to be, and we can't go falling for the neighbor. No matter how juicy his caboosey."