Don't Leave Me Again..

Chapter Nineteen

Five months later, and I haven't talked to anyone from Charming mom, dad, and Jackson included. When I found out I was pregnant, I was seven weeks along, so I'm almost eight months pregnant now.

I've been alone for the last five months, and I ended up in Idaho. I transferred to the medical program here and finished getting my certificate and now work at a local hospital. The only contact I have with anyone are the people I work with, my obgyn, and my attorney.

Abel and I don't talk. I try and get any communication done through our attorneys. Turns out our marriage is legal, so on top of trying to figure out custody, I'm also trying to get divorced. I love Abel, but he hurt me, and I'm scared to get hurt again.

After this month, I will be going back to Charming because my son and daughter will have their dad in their lives. Part of me hopes to have Abel back on my life, but I don't know if I can get past everything.

When I got here, I set up an appointment just to make sure the baby was okay. After all the stress and drama well, it turns out I'm pregnant with twins. I was so excited when I found out the genders at my seventeen week check-up.

I'm just finishing up my rounds when my phone vibrates. I pull it out from my scrubs and see it's mom. She calls every day, and it kills me not to talk to her, but I can't. She leaves voice-mails every time, and when I hear her voice, I just cry and get upset.

I miss my parents and brother. I miss Abel, but I was hurt in a way I shouldn't have been. I was hurt by people that I never thought would hurt me. Do I think mom was in the know? Absolutely not, and I think thats why it hurts so much to not talk to her, but to make my point, I have to cut them all off. They could have trusted me enough to tell me what was going on, and I wouldn't be in this mess.

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Once I get back to my apartment, I open my laptop to continue my apartment hunt in Charming. I don't know what to expect when I get back, so I'm looking for something that will allow short term.

I'm was planning on putting my notice in next week but decided to tomorrow, so that gives me two weeks to finish in good standing with the hospital. I've already contacted St. Thomas about a job a couple weeks ago and they offered me the same position I have here and it's more pay so I accepted the job immediately and it's waiting for me for when I get back to Charming.

After looking at a couple of different apartments, I'm not finding one I like. I pull my phone out to listen to moms voicemail.

"Hi sweetheart, I miss you. I wish you would just pick the phone even just for a second. I wish you were here so I could see you becoming a mother. Pat my grandbabies for me. Abel misses you, too. He's lost without you. He's a mess. We miss you so much, sweetheart. Well I'll call you at the same time tomorrow. God, I hope you answer. I love you, sweetheart." Mom says, and I lose it.

I set my phone down and walked into my bedroom to get showered and changed for bed. As I'm lying in bed, the tears just flood out.

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I'm on my way back to Charming today, more like I'm only ten minutes from the Charming sign. No one knows I'm coming back, I almost answered moms call, but I couldn't, I'd rather just see her face to face than over the phone.

It's been a very long three weeks. I sold my audi and got me a brand new Tahoe. I wanted something safe for the kids, that would last, and had plenty of room.

I left almost everything but my clothes, documents, and personal items at my apartment in Idaho. Almost everything there was on rental, so they will come tomorrow to pick it up.

I haven't been to see Pops since before I left, so I decided to stop at the cemetery before going to my hotel. I didn't end up finding an apartment, so I booked a motel for a week and will just take it day by day until I figure it out.

I put my tahoe in park and walk over to Pops headstone and sit on the grass. I cross my legs and pull them as close as I can. Having twins means my bump is huge, so sitting criss-cross is hard but helps my hips, so I force it if I can.

"I know it's been a while, Pops. I miss you. I hope you've been keeping an extra eye on mom she needs it. I feel like everything is my fault. If I just stayed in LA and never came back when Jackie got out maybe none of this bullshit would have happened but I'm glad I didn't stay in LA because had I, I wouldn't be pregnant with these two babes." I tell him, and I begin to cry because that's all I do anymore.

I sit with Pops for another fifteen minutes before I decide to leave, but because I'm so pregnant and huge, I'm struggling to get up. I feel a pair of hands help me, and I look up and see mom and dad. I wrap my arms around mom. Dad wraps his around both of us.

"I usually come on Saturdays, but I told your dad that I just needed to come today. Oh sweetheart, your home." Mom says and starts crying, which results in me crying because again, that's I'll I do anymore.

When we finally pull away from each other, dad kisses my head, and mom holds my hand.

"No one can know I'm back yet, okay? I'm not ready yet." I ask them, and they both nod to me. Mom puts her hand on my bump, and Hope kicks her, and mom starts crying again.

"Oh, sweetheart. I'm so sorry you did this alone." Mom says, placing her other hand on the other side of my bump, and Filip kicks her. Both babies are kicking like crazy right now.

"Mom, I'm okay. I needed to be alone. Did I ever think that I'd be doing it by myself? No, but I've grown a lot in my time away." I tell her as she grabs dads hand and puts it on my bump.

"Little where are you staying?" Dad asks me, and I tell him.

"Nah, absolutely not little. No one needs to know your back, but you're coming home. Jackson is hardly home these days anyway, but you and my littlers are not staying at a hotel." Dad says, and I laugh at the fact that he's calling Hope and Filip littlers.