I can be better.... //Ddosama Or Notti Osama???

unreal (11)

MOUYANI's POV

'It's the been a few days and I feel like crap literally don't want to move but something stopping me this feeling in my chest saying to pick DD and then this feeling in my gut telling me to pick Notti.

Something's pulling me towards Notti though I don't know what it is but I feel it trapping me I must choose Notti there's no doubt about it but will he even want me back.

He's been ignoring me for days now so has DD the only one that talks to now is DDOT and that's really rare because he's barely over with all his interviews and stuff I fucked up big time I'm all alone this time though no boyfriend no best friend just a big blank notebook and a therapist including a medical record of having 2 seizures and being suicidal.

Great way to start off the first month of January!' i write in my journal.

I'm tired of this!

I walk out my room and knock hard on Ethan's door. "Damn who tf?" Ethan says before noticing it's me. He quickly tries to close the door but I hold it open and walk in.

He's shirtless in just his shorts and all his well defined curls out just resting on his shoulders. I stare for a little while before focusing my attention back on him noticing he was just staring at me too.

"Why won't you talk to me anymore is it because the DD situation?" I ask.

"It's deeper than all that shit Mouyani but I don't have time for this get out." He says opening his bedroom door again. "Ethan please." I say groaning. "It's Notti and If it's not important get out Yani"

"It is."I say. He closes the door behind him and steps Infront of me.

"Wnat's wrong."He says now focusing his full attention on me. "You're the stronger feeling." i blurt. He inhales deeply and looks at me up and down realizing. "What the fuck is you wearing?" he asks me. "A oversized hoodie, don't avoid what i just said though.” I say blankly.

"what else you wearing" Notti asks eyeing me and my lack of pants or shorts. "Panties." I say laughing not knowing what else he was expecting i mean 🤷🏾‍♀️.
"And??" he asks. "That's it?" i say in more of a question. "Mouyani gtfo and put some clothes on.” He says trying to push me out the door. “Why do you care I thought you were mad at me.” I say turning around and dodging his arms.

“I am!” He yells. “Then why do you care?”I ask. “I don't!” he yells trying to push me out his door again.

“But you just said you-” “GET THE FUCK OUT MOUYANI!” He yells even louder than before. I jump at the tone of his words and understand he's serious now. He notices and his face drops to more relaxed. “Leave Yani.” He says opening the door wider for me to leave. My eyes dance back in forth between him and the door knowing if I go out i may never come back in. “Can we at least be friends?” I ask. He ignores my question and goes into his gaming chair and puts his headphones on twirling the vape in his hands.

I see him suck his cheek hard and I know now he's PURPOSELY ignoring me.

I walk to his doorframe hoping he would turn around but when he doesn't i just leave, leaving the door closed.

I then make my way to Dd's room to see if he'll talk to me even though I doubt it because he's been ignoring me more than Notti has.

I knock on the door and hear moving around and shuffling before the person opens it. There stands DD who unlike Notti is in a white wife beater and long grey shorts that go down a little past his knees due to him sagging.

He smacks his teeth and closes the door in my face when he spots on me. I knock softly again on his door. No answer. This time i knock hard and the door swings open with me almost hitting DD but he catches my fist. He stares at me as the stare last a long while before i talk.

“DD...” I say. No answer. “There's something wrong.” I say. With that he lets go of my fist and lean on the door frame. “Whatchu want Yani.” he asks. The fist time he talks to me all week and that's all i had to do?

“Why won't you and Notti talk to me?” I ask looking down at my feet. DD slams the door back in my face. Making the strong force blow his room scent all in my face at once.
A tear threatens to fall out my eye but i quickly wipe it walking to my room and locking myself in it.

Dd's POV

That shit was harsh i know. She'll be aight. I knew Notti was ignoring her. Didn't know if it was the same reason. Aight ion really know.

All i know is I'm trynna keep myself as distant as I can. What me and Yani had was pain but she don't see that so.

I miss her i do me and Notti been talking a lil we have to constantly avoid her name but somehow it always gets brung up.

_______________________

Short i know I'm sorry 😭