I carry your heart

It was just another day or so thought Lousiana. She had barely seen Fay and had no time to even interact with her own family since the past week. Fay had of course tried to get back in touch with her but Lousiana was just very busy settling in the United Kingdom and in her new work place. It had been over a year since she had last spoken to Jay.

She had tried very hard not to be heartbroken, to stay strong yet it broke her heart when she had to take a break from their relationship. She had cried for weeks and not spoken to anyone. Jay had tried so hard to get back to her. She would just not talk to him.

"Long distance relationships don't work Jay"

"But we can try, we are not like others...we will figure it out Ana"

Echoed the desperate words of Jay in her mind

Lousiana shut her eyes close to get a grip. She had gone through this in her mind too many times. She folded the papers in her hand and sat down on the floor of her apartment in Nottingham. She let the tears slide down her cheeks as she looked outside the window onto the bright morning vacant street. She shut her eyes again.

"I love you so much Jay" was a whisper from her mouth

"Ana, Ana listen to me... please wait, we- we need to talk about this. Wait don't leave... Ana!" he kept calling her while Lousiana walked away, trying to brisk walk so she could get away from him.

"Jay, go... I can't see you like this" she said "please" came out in another weak whisper.

"I can't let you go, I won't... I LOVE YOU" he said and held her hand gripping it tightly so she wouldn't be able to walk away

"You don't understand..."

"Hush, I do. You have to understand that love cannot be destroyed by mere distance. It is the distance of heart that kills the relationship not the distance of partners" he said ever so slowly caressing her cheeks.

"I am not sure about this... this thing. I want you to let me go" she said weakly as she looked away.

"For now I will" he said taking a deep breath "Only to let you go home and think about it. I am not letting go of our love, remember that Ana" he loosened the grip and stepped away.

Lousiana turned and crashed her lips on his but before he would respond she took off and ran as fast as she could drifting farther away from her.

Her cries turned into hysteria as she placed her palms on her cheeks. The tears stained the papers in her hand... the letters that Jay wrote to her and left at her doorway everyday while she was still studying in the university during their final three months of college. She never read them neither did she ever throw them.

She went through every single letter once she reached Nottingham.

"Ana I think you should talk to him. Just once." said Fay while driving her to the airport.

"Fay, I can't even muster up the strength to look into my own eyes in the mirror anymore. You expect me to talk to him?" she said as she stared at the pile of letters on her lap.

"Come on Ana, he at least needs to know that you are leaving" said Fay in a matter of fact tone.

Lousiana stood up and gathered all the letters. She safely tucked them in a small box and placed the box inside the drawer of her side table. She washed her face and started working on her new project which she had to present by the end of the month.

Once she had gone through the overview of her project she made a few calls here and there related to work. She changed into her work clothes, a pencil formal beige skirt and a white shirt. A beige pumps completed her attire and she wore light make up. She walked down the street where she could get a cab and waited by the cab station.