Finding Peace

Prisoner

You've failed
Fucken worthless
Why do you even keep on trying
Ignore the bullshit
You know you're strong
You know you're worth more than gold
Fuck
Fucken fuck
Prisoner of my own mind
Stuck between the good or the bad
Nothing in between
How can I keep going like this
Knowing damn well
I'm doing my best
Prisoner of my own mind
When will my release date be
I can't do 25 to life
I gotta find an escape
There has to be a way out
I can't keep going like this
It's too fucken chaotic
Being stuck between two worlds
Where's that light at the end of the tunnel
So deprived of the sunlight
Where did it all go wrong
I know
Yet such a coward to say it
It's been 2 years I still can't talk of it
I've been in autopilot lately
Going through the days
It's been such a haze
Days I think of getting coked up
Saying fuck it all
Other days I say go vegan
Go clean
Yet I'm still in between both worlds
I compromise with the alcohol
My liver saying give me water
Yet that's all I can drink
To get through these days
I'd do anything just to have you back
2 years since I haven't been the same
I said I wouldn't ever pick the pen up again
Yet here I am once again
Trying to free all these thought of mine
I've had them locked up for way too long
I gotta stop being a prisoner of my own mind
Yet I'm such a coward to do anything
But yet here I am doing it step at a time
Forgive me for being locked up for so long
Doing life didn't seem too bad at the time
Now I'm just tryna escape
Escape to freedom
Whatever that is
I'm doing it all for you
So much rage I still have
But I gotta let that go
That's what's keeping me behind
I can't find the route to escape just yet
I guess I'll be a prisoner a little longer

-Gigglesz'
1/30/2023