Buckingham Nicks A/U Series Part 4: The Dance

I've Built My Life Around You

Warner Brothers
Burbank, California
Friday, May 23, 1997
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"You have to go in there, Daddy. She's freaking out."

It had taken Julia a long time to track her father down in the chaos that was the backstage area of the Warner Brothers soundstage, but Lindsey had finally appeared out of the crowd. She was down the hallway from her mother's dressing room, where she had just seen Stevie embroiled in one of the worst panic attacks she'd had in years. Lindsey was dressed for the stage in his usual black ensemble, waking and talking with Uncle John, when she brought both men to a stop.

"Three nights in a row," John McVie joked, poking Lindsey humorously in the ribs. Tonight was the third performance of three of The Dance that was being filmed for broadcast, and every night just before showtime, Stevie's nerves had kicked into overdrive. She had nervously forgotten the opening lyrics to "Dreams" on Wednesday night and had to restart, but the audience had cheered her on with compassion and understanding. Thursday night she'd come away from the show feeling that "Silver Springs" lacked "the right punch in the gut" and had told the producers not to use the Thursday "Silver Springs" in the final edit.

Tonight was their last chance to get it all right.

"I told her to have a shot of tequila, but she refused," Julia said, and Lindsey had to remind himself not to smile. It had been seventy-two hours since he'd first heard of the existence of the life that was growing inside of the woman he loved who was freaking out a few yards away from where he stood, and they had made a promise not to tell anyone, even the kids, until after the filming was done.

"Maybe she's too afraid alcohol will get in the way of her remembering the lyrics," Lindsey offered his daughter as an excuse as to why Stevie would decline her usual pre-show shot of tequila. "I'll go in; don't worry. I know how to handle your mother when she has stage fright."

As Lindsey left Julia in conversation with John in the hallway, Jodie and Olivia emerging from the crowd to join them, Lindsey walked towards the dressing room where his wife was having a panic attack. He glanced behind himself and saw Jodie wrap his arm around Julia and place an affectionate kiss on her temple, and he smiled, thinking his daughter was in good hands and noticing the almost eerie similarities between their relationship and that of John and Christine...in the good times. He was recalling the first time he'd ever seen Stevie have stage fright - or, at least, stage fright that was noticeable to him - when Fritz had opened for Leon Russell in San Francisco. He'd come back to where she'd stood brushing her hair in the mirror with a few sunflowers he'd picked from the patch of grass just outside the trailer, and said, "Take these for good luck and they'll remind you that you're like these sunflowers - bright and gold and sprouting up in the middle of nowhere but incredibly pretty once you're there." He couldn't help noticing she'd held onto him a little too long when she'd hugged him to thank him, and he also couldn't help but notice he didn't want to let her go.

"Do I have to come in here and ruin your makeup by kissing you all over, or are you going to accept that you're amazing and you're going to be great out there?" he asked Stevie when he arrived at the doorway of her dressing room. Stevie turned around and he could see not just nervousness in her eyes but downright fear.

"We have to nail this, Linds," she said. "This is our last shot! What if it doesn't go well? This whole thing is going to flop and we'll have put in all of this effort for nothing! And it'll be all my fault!"

"Stephanie, listen to me." Lindsey approached her slowly, and pried her hands away from each other so that he could hold them in his own. "You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are Stevie Nicks and you kick ass out there and this is going to be epic. Believe me, angel. We've got this. You've got this."